—
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
These are the words of the patron saint of heroism, Joseph Campbell, the man who gifted us with the monomyth, also known as the hero’s journey. Campbell outlined a pattern found in the mythologies of cultures from around the world, a structure we are still echoing today in the heroic tales we continue to create.
As I’ve written before, we tend to think of heroism as being a purely external act, most often involving people running toward physical danger: soldiers on a battlefield, first responders responding to a catastrophe, or even everyday citizens we sometimes see on the news as they step out of their ordinary lives just for a moment to help others in a crisis.
But what we need to remember about the hero’s journey is that it’s a metaphor not just for external heroism, but for internal heroism as well. In reality, every hero’s journey starts within. In other words, the cave Campbell is referring to in his quote is the cave within all of us.
We must be prepared to explore our internal worlds, which can be wonderous and scary places. The hero’s journey framework gives us the tools for deep introspection and self-exploration so that we can become better human beings.
My Battle with the Bipolar Disorder Monster
Being a hero for oneself is something that’s very personal to me because when I was 33, a monster came out of the cave within me and almost swallowed me whole.
In heroic tales, caves are often occupied by great treasure protected by terrible monsters. Continuing with Campbell’s cave metaphor, the treasure is peace of mind, self-awareness, and self-mastery. The monster that guards that treasure can be a representation of our doubts, fears, or—for someone like me—a lurking mental illness.
By the time I was in my early 30’s I had been ignoring a monster within my cave for a long time. I had been born with a predisposition for bipolar disorder. My monster had been fed for years by the mistreatment I experienced as a child in the schoolyard and at home, as I was abused mercilessly physically and verbally by classmates and family. Such abuses are now known as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and can induce trauma-fueled impairments to social, emotional, and cognitive functions. In my case, they exacerbated an underlying mental health issue.
As I advanced into adulthood, I ignored the warning signs that emanated from the bipolar monster within me. I ignored the inability to focus, the bursts of manic energy, and the racing thoughts as signs of my creativity. Who cared if I was never able to finish any of the numerous projects I started? What mattered was the frenetic high of my stratospheric mental state, and how great I thought I was (narcissism is a frequent aspect of bipolar disorder).
Having allowed the monster within the luxury of time to grow strong, it finally ripped its way out of its cave, a near-unstoppable force. It took possession of me and almost tore my life to pieces. The only thing that could shock me out of my mania was seeing the utter anguish I caused my loved ones. It took a lot of therapy, medication, and time to get back to a place where I could finally deal with my monster.
Three Lessons from My Inner Cave Journey
If you struggle with mental illness, know someone who does, or if you’re struggling with self-doubt and fear, it is time to deal with the monster within your cave. The treasure you will find once you do so is invaluable.
I’m nearly 43 now, and I want to share with you three lessons from almost a decade of battling my beast within. I hope to help you or someone you love, so you don’t have to suffer as long or as much as I did.
1. Find—and mind—your mentors
Frodo had Gandalf. Harry Potter had Dumbledore. Dorothy had Glinda the Good Witch. There’s a reason heroes encounter mentors: they bestow wisdom and provide guidance.
Do you already know someone in your life who helps you with the benefit of their life experience? For me, I was helped by therapists, friends, and family. If you feel like you need to find mentors, don’t be afraid to seek them out. The chances are good that help is closer than you think.
Trusted mentors act like mirrors for us; they help us see ourselves clearly so that we can continue on our journey of self-mastery.
2. Accept the ups and downs of the adventure
Contrary to what you may think, the word “adventure” doesn’t just describe a constant parade of sunshine and roses. Think about it: heroic stories depict highs and lows, which create the drama that cuts to the heart of the human condition.
Consider Luke Skywalker: he leaves his home planet to go on an adventure, and it’s not just about cool laser swords and space princesses. Luke meets his real dad, who promptly cuts off Luke’s hand. If that doesn’t suck, I don’t know what does!
The lesson is, we must accept that life contains both the positive and the negative, and embrace that truth. When we do so, we achieve a sort of balance, an equilibrium that allows us to be at peace with the bittersweetness of life. The push and pull of these opposing forces turn the wheel of our earthly existence forward. We must be able to learn from both the highs and lows of life. Resisting this fact is a sure-fire way to make yourself miserable.
3. Embrace the Monster Within
Don’t confront the beast within your cave with a sword of anger, resentment, or suppression. That would be like trying to hack off a limb because the monster is a part of you. Some people call it shadow work. Carl Jung talked about the shadow, and the need to integrate it into one’s life so that it doesn’t destroy you.
For those of us with mental illness, this means accepting that our disease is not some invading entity, but an aspect of ourselves. That which you acknowledge and accept can be controlled, not through force but an embrace.
Like a petulant child, the monster in your cave just wants to be understood. It wants to be seen and heard. Ignoring its demands will only make it more resentful and vengeful. When it came to my bipolar disorder, the vengeance it took from my years of neglect was devastating. Avoid that outcome at all costs!
Don’t be a Bystander
Dr. Phil Zimbardo warns us that the opposite of a hero isn’t a villain, it’s a bystander, someone who sits back and doesn’t take action to help in times of need. I encourage you to avoid being a bystander in your own life. Don’t wait for the monster inside of you to take control.
Wherever you are, whatever your current circumstances, you are not irredeemable. You still have time to enter into your inner cave and embrace the monster, so that you can finally find the treasure of self-mastery you seek.
—
—