Breaking up is hard no matter what. Whether you have been together a few weeks, a few years, or a few decades. There are always going to be some painful feelings for both of you. It does matter why you are breaking up with this person, though. After all, there are different reactions to the breakup and two sides to every story. If you are the one doing the breaking up, you may not be in as much pain as your partner. But you must have cared about them or even loved them at one time. Maybe you still do. That can make it even more difficult. After all, breaking up with someone you do not care about is not going to be that big of a deal, right? But what are some reasons why you would break up with someone you love.
Three is a Crowd
If your partner cheated on you, that is usually a good reason to call it quits no matter how long you have been together. However, some relationships can be saved even after someone strays. With relationship counseling, you and your partner may be able to work things out so you can stay together. But otherwise, infidelity is usually a sign that the relationship has been over for a while.
Long Distance Love
Maybe one of you has to move away due to a new job or family situation and your partner cannot come with you. Getting up the strength to break up with them so they can move on is the best thing for both of you. While it may be painful for you both right now, it will be better in the long run. Staying together while living hundreds of miles apart is difficult and can make things even more painful by drawing it out longer. Be the bigger person and let them go.
We Just Grew Apart
Yes, it is possible to just grow apart from someone you love. Some people have been together since they were kids and never experienced dating or relationships with other people. It may seem really romantic that you married your first love from high school, but it may not be practical. As we grow older, we tend to change in ways that may affect how we feel about each other. If nothing else, we may feel like we missed out on something by not dating other people. You do not want to be thinking “what if” for the rest of your life.
If they do not love you as much as you love them, you are just setting yourself up for disaster if you continue along that path. Or vice versa. Did you get together with them because you knew they loved you and you figured you would fall in love with them eventually? Your partner may be the most lovable and special person on the planet, but if those feelings are not there, you cannot make them be there. You cannot make someone love you and you cannot make yourself love them.
Do not lie and pretend there is some other reason that you want to break up. How to break up with someone you love without causing more pain than necessary means you have to be honest with them and yourself. If you are just not in love with them, tell them that. It may hurt now, but they will get over it and find someone else eventually. It is not fair for you to keep stringing them along because you don’t want to hurt their feelings or because you feel guilty.
Work Things Out Like Adults
No matter what the reason for the breakup, be adults about it. Don’t call each other names or yell at each other. Remember, this is someone you were planning to spend your life with. Sure, maybe one of you did something wrong or you just grew apart, but that does not mean you cannot be civil to each other. If you are living together, make sure you work out who is going to stay and who will go, but be fair. If you know they cannot afford to get another place because their credit is bad, let them have the place.
If you have been together for a while, you probably have friends in common and hang out at the same places. You may even work together. So, don’t go talking trash about your ex to your mutual friends and make them feel uncomfortable. And definitely don’t ask them to choose between you two. There is no reason why you cannot all stay friends, as long as you don’t have to see each other or hang out at the same time in the same place.
Talk to Someone
When you know you have to let go of someone you love, you will probably be devastated and hurt. Maybe even angry or jealous if there was infidelity involved. Take the time to talk to a relationship counselor to work things out within yourself. Otherwise, you may be setting yourself up for relationship troubles in the future. ReGain.com has therapists and counselors you can talk to online and you don’t even need an appointment. Talk to someone today.
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