When do you take the road less traveled? Ahmad Nieves reflects on the moment the wind changed direction in his life.
—
For as far as I knew I wanted to be a teacher and that was pretty much it. Of course I had considered other options, but briefly, I thought of being a police officer, a firefighter, or just owning my own business. The thought of being a police officer or a firefighter were both thoughts that entered into my head as a child and probably into the heads of children everywhere! When you are young, I think we all think of having jobs that are noble and helpful to others, no one thinks of being a stock broker as a child and making tons of money, no we all want to be good and do good (I think and I hope)! As I got older though the only two options that really intrigued me were of becoming a teacher or owning my own business.
I settled on becoming a teacher because I didn’t know what type of business that I would want to own or even how to do about most things that come with owning a business. I decided on being a teacher out of conveniences sake, it’s what I wanted to do, I thought, and I knew how to do it! I was doing something I have done a ton in my life and something that I fight myself from doing today. I was auto piloting!
♦◊♦
Auto piloting is when we choose something out of conveniences sake, because it is easy or perhaps routine. It’s not necessarily a bad thing but if left unchecked is definitely not a good thing. Every morning tons of people get up, shower, brush their teeth and groom themselves, eat a quick breakfast, and leave for work. This is their routine and many of them are auto piloting, this is not an issue but when they extend this into their work life, their personal life, or other parts of their lives this becomes a problem!
For me auto piloting and settling are synonymous, it’s that “I don’t have to think about it” or “This is good enough,” thinking that starts to go from simple thought and become an attitude. Think of all the people you know that have settled or just put the cruise control on they develop that mentality of, “Hey, it works!” or “It works good enough, right?” or “If I stopped doing this what else would it do?” It this last question that is probably the most dangerous and where if left can spell out disastrous result for us or at the very least a bland and unhappy life. The destruction is taking place in so many of our lives as it did in mine.
As I mentioned before, I wanted to be a teacher and it was all working out for me until I didn’t get the job! I went to college and graduated with my Bachelor’s in History, I then had to make the decision to go to grad school. The question was, “Do I want go for Business or do I go for Education?” The obvious answer was Education, but something always tugged at the back of my mind and made me wait.
♦◊♦
In the meantime, I started working as a substitute teacher and was exposed to the public school system. I won’t go into detail but half a year of working as a substitute teacher, I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown and that this was not the right move for me but the thought of, “What else will I do,” kept creeping in my head. I was on a bad path.
The Dangers of Auto Piloting:
- It stops you from thinking about things critically.
- Life becomes a routine and starts to lose its appeal.
- Settling for less.
- Working for something you don’t truly believe in.
- Loss of creativity.
- Constant self-doubt, which you ignore.
- Waking up unhappy.
- Many, many, more.
I kept working as a substitute teacher and was still not enrolled in graduate school. The “obvious” was conflicting with the actual, which was simply a small voice in the back of my head but always kept me in self doubt. I feel this is what kept holding my back from actually making a decision. During my time as working as a substitute teacher, I heard about a program, Teach For America, with only your Bachelor’s degree you could teach in the public school system and make a difference in the lives of underserved children. I was going to do this.
The model of Teach For America is very problematic and flawed and it doesn’t work in my eyes, but I went for it anyway. I applied for Teach For America a couple of times and made it through some of the interview steps but never until the final step, that is until my third time applying. I had finally made it through and I was on my way. This was it, I was on the way to my dream. Little did I know, this wasn’t the case. Instead I was onto something better. I was on my way to confronting my habit of auto piloting.
During the final interview, I did a sample lesson and had a one on one interview with one of the recruiters. It all seemed to go well and I was going to get in. I went home and had to wait a month before hearing back and needless to say a month later I got a rejection letter, but here’s the thing: I didn’t feel sad, disappointed or even lost. I felt relieved!
♦◊♦
From subbing, I knew that this wasn’t what I wanted to do–but I kept pushing on. I had so many signs t telling me this wasn’t what I wanted to do. I was in the final stages of doubt, where auto piloting takes an individual to the questions of, “If I stopped doing this. what else would it do?”–and that question led me to keep pushing on towards a path that I really did not want to go down. It leads many people to keep pushing forward, and many of them wake up unhappy every day of their lives.
I eventually steered away from this bad habit–and so do many other people. I am not perfect and have tons of work to do but I am on my way. Currently, I am rediscovering what I like to do and want to do. The thought going to graduate school for Business is so exciting to me and I think I will pursue it. I have to fight the thought of auto piloting on a constant basis and to think constantly and follow my own path. I work for an awesome non-profit currently and for now I will see where that will take me. I am just figuring it all out, but I’m not settling, going on cruise control–or most dangerous of all, auto piloting.
Photo Credit: hpeguk/Flickr