One of the most beautiful, one of the most powerful, and one of the most healing ways of being seen and acknowledged is through touch.
Touch is a language, a communication that often goes deeper than words.
It tells of an authenticity that you feel deep inside, especially when that touch is from the heart.
The hands that touch you, hold you, caress you, stroke you, acknowledge your body.
We have a deep need for connection, and this connection happens in many ways, on many levels. So many of us have never been fully seen, fully heard. So many of us have only been seen through the eyes of another, through the definition of another, what they need us to be, and what we’ve allowed ourselves to become. In our desire for acceptance, for love, we’ve given much of ourselves away. And in this, the way we’re seen is often not our authentic being.
The judgment of our bodies, of our hearts, of our experience, all abused on an external idea of absurdity, often keeps us from expressing our true selves.
The disconnect this creates from our physical joy, our sensual vitality, keeps us from seeing ourselves as a whole, expressing ourselves in celebration through this beautiful body.
Touch brings us into ourselves.
When we add the element of eroticism we include all that we are.
For me, eroticism is not only sexual, but it’s also heart, it’s vitality, it’s the connection to life.
The Erotic Energy in a massage I’d often not about orgasm, it’s firstly about including the whole body.
What so many people refer to as ‘full-body massage’ stops somewhere on the thighs and continues above the waist. This leaves a gap, a gaping hole, a split, in who we are, in fullness.
Unacknowledged, and more than that, hidden, ignored. We draw more attention to what we leave out than what we include.
When we do this the implied judgment adds to the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, the inhibition we feel about our genitals. We hide what’s hidden deeper.
Our genitals are no different from our shoulders, from our noses, from our knees.
From our hearts.
We’ve made it so.
And we can make it different.
Yes, we carry hurt there, deep hurt, deep pain.
Yes, healing is needed.
Yes, there are specific experiences for this healing.
And yes, in accepting these beautiful, tender, mysterious parts of our bodies into us, connecting them with our hearts, we heal so much.
Going deeper, in this healing is a transformation from many of the patterns and restrictions of society.
Freedom from the judgement of so many aspects of ourselves.
A genital touch, with love, with honoring, with the simple inclusion, makes us more whole.
It’s arousing, yes. That’s the nature of our beautiful sexual organs.
Arousing does not mean orgasm, arousing does not mean sex.
Arousing does mean life-force.
Arousing does add to the energy of the massage, and with this awareness, arousing is but one energy, one aspect of all of who we are.
We are seen.
All of us.
We are acknowledged.
All of us.
The meaning is in the touch, in the feeling, in the intention.
It’s not the story, it’s not the expectation.
It’s a discussion that says that this massage includes all of your body.
Allow yourself to feel everything.
To feel relaxed, to feel nurtured, to feel what’s in pain, to feel where tension is, to feel what’s uncomfortable, to feel aroused, to feel everything. All are elements of the experience.
We are seen.
We are acknowledged.
In this, we become more aware of the power of the Erotic, of the Sensual as an element of vitality.
In this, we move away from patterning, from conditioning.
In this, we become more accepting of who we are, all of who we are.
And in this, we move deeper into possibility.
In the sense of being acknowledged and seen, I begin most massage experiences with something I developed called Earth Massage. This brings you into your body, into your center. It begins to allow you to relax. It defines your body, the outline of your body. It’s also a deep healing experience on its own and can be expanded in different ways.
Essentially it’s a holding practice.
Starting at the feet, one leg at a time.
Holding the feet for a breath or two, then the ankle, moving up the calf, holding the space your hands touch. I start on the outside of the body, moving inwards with each pass up or down the body.
As a deeper practice on its own, you may hold a part of the body for a longer time, especially if something is releasing there.
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Photo courtesy iStock
This post previously published on eroslife and is republished with the permission of the author.