As our world globalizes, clashes, and reinvents itself, we have the opportunity to guide the way that boys become men. It may mean the difference between continued prosperity or a trip back to the Dark Ages.
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An article I wrote last week entitled Masculinity And Extremism Around The World generated a fair amount of conversation and online interaction. My reaction? Wonderful! This is exactly the response I was hoping to evoke. It also confirms for me that this area of life—raising boys to become healthy men—is an extremely crucial issue that sits on the minds of many people, especially given the lure of extremism in the world today.
Here is a link to last week’s article: Masculinity and Extremism Around the World.
In this follow-up article I’d like to do two things: 1) take a core concept of this issue to a deeper level of understanding and 2) generate specific calls for article submissions among you, the readers.
Let’s get started.
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I quoted the author Dr. Robert Moore in last week’s article. I want to tap into his wisdom again. First, however, I want to establish some context for the issue.
Raising boys to become men is at any point a challenging ordeal. Transitioning from youth to adolescence to adulthood is a harrowing journey for anyone to endure or support. Yet many of the established structures designed to facilitate this experience are disintegrating around the world due to a number of forces, including unprecedented affluence in the developed world and destabilizing chaos in much of the developing world.
Whether the issue is existential emptiness or failed systems, too many men are choosing extremist ideologies and groups for direction and affiliation. This choice is not just sad but also dangerous.
Now, back to Dr. Moore.
In his landmark book The Archetype Of Initiation: Sacred Space, Ritual Process, and Personal Transformation, Dr. Moore suggests that passages in life (moving from one part of life to another) happen best as part of an initiatory experience. This experience usually involves the inclusion of sacredness or a sacred space, in whatever way that works for an individual or community. This sacredness, supported by meaningful ritual, establishes the context for personal transformation.
Here is Dr. Moore’s process for working through, then, the transformational experience from one stage of life to another.
- Submission. This is a tricky word to use in a modern setting because people need to ensure that what they’re submitting to is principled and legitimate. Plenty of people have and do submit to things that are manipulative or abusive. The need, however, is there. If a man begins therapy, he must follow the rules, protocols, and structures of that process, otherwise he won’t experience its benefits. This step centers around sublimating the ego.
- Containment. When a person goes through a transformational change, things get messy. It would be nice if they didn’t; but they do. Therefore, people need support, understanding, and endurance—the feeling of being held up—when they step into messiness. Whether it’s a person, a group, or a structure, initiates going through transition need strength and support. This is where a person can “break apart,” so to speak, so that he can then reform in the near future.
- Enactment. This step essentially mean “practicing” or “experimenting.” When a person breaks apart during the containment step, he then needs to test new ways of thinking and behaving. He won’t know ahead of time exactly how, so he must test these options in a safe environment. This step precedes the emergence of the new self.
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So now, I’d like you, the reader, to consider two examples of the above framework offered by Dr. Moore.
First, tell a story about your experience moving from boyhood to manhood. What were the key steps and stages along the way? What worked well? What didn’t? Maybe some of Dr. Moore’s ideas resonate with you?
Second, what models do we need to construct or develop, going forward, that will serve the needs of boys transitioning to manhood?
I would love as many people from as many parts of the world to contribute. If you have a few basic thoughts, please write a comment at the bottom of this article. If you have, however, more to say, then please submit an article to me at david@truprogress.com. I would love to publish it.
This work is too important to leave to chance or happenstance. As our world globalizes, clashes, and reinvents itself, we have the opportunity to guide the way that boys become men. It may mean the difference between continued prosperity or a trip back to the Dark Ages.
Photo credit: Flickr/Les Haines