This is the first of many #ThisIsHowSexismEnds prompts, essays, podcasts, memes, interviews, reviews, and articles over the next month that will focus on sexism, gender bias, misogyny, and ending prejudice against women as well as ending toxic hypermasculinity against men (and the overlap attitudes against all of us).
Please visit our page here for updates of who and where to read next!
Men don’t want to believe that other men have done the worst things to women.
Women don’t want to believe that other men have done the worst things to women.
And so the cycle continues and progresses—even with proof that the worst things are, indeed, true.
At this point, the darkest parts of our human history have been illuminated for everyone to see, read, learn, and discuss. For most of us.
But not debate.
And still, women are not believed.
Just ask those who have settled out of court during celebrity rape case lawsuits.
Just ask those in high school and college who have been denied rape kits or legal counsel because we don’t want to believe that bad things happen without consent.
Just ask the architects of myth and religion or of theatre and battle, who agree that women are the spoils of war, or that things are different for boys than they are for girls, or that there’s no way we do the things in the dark that we spend years warning against.
Or just ask the cultures of men and women—in 2017—who marry off their daughters to have or save money because there are no factories or schools for young girls.
Whatever the case of power and influence is, we need to believe girls and women, and erase the toxic, sexist arrogance that keeps women silent.
Or not.
Most people in power positions—whether it’s privilege or actual monetary or political power—will turn the case against the minority, whether the minority is a minority of power, physicality, wealth, or gender.
It’s a story as old as Lilith and Lady Macbeth.
And it’s time we solidified the new narrative and retire the old guards of sexism.
What do you say? What’s your story?
And how are you going to erase, stop, or end sexism?
Tell us, write us, call in—this is how sexism will end.
#ThisIsHowSexismEnds
#StopSexism
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Photo: Matthew Kane, Unsplash
“Men don’t want to believe that other men have done the worst things to women. Women don’t want to believe that other men have done the worst things to women.” Oh I do believe them. I just don’t particularly care to do much about it while people like you regularly insist on ignoring the other permutations of those phrases. What women do to men…what women do to women. Make your conversation actually egalitarian and not blatantly gender biased, then it will merit support. “Men don’t believe women”. Sometimes women don’t believe women. But we must simply blame men only, women… Read more »
So men who report they were raped by women or molested are readily believed? So boys who are abused by women are cared for as much as girls would be in that situation? So men who are domestically abused are believed and offered equal public services? All humans have both good and bad traits, the division of which is not determined by sex. Why here on a site supposedly for men would all this be ignored? What is it about white knights that leads to this uneven treatment….. Maybe an agenda…… an attempt to garner some advantage? To be not… Read more »
What? We care about all humans who are abused…what’s your point? Women are abused by men almost 10 to 100 times (when 90% of rapes aren’t recorded by women) than men abused by women–for men it’s 1 in 72 reported being raped or sexually abused, for women it’s 1 in 7. That’s a WIDE divide… if we’re talking statistics. Please be clear in your response.
“Women are abused by men almost 10 to 100 times than men abused by women if we’re talking statistics.” But would you be suggesting that experience or victimization is emblematic of one gender; or that culpability or predation is emblematic of another ? Are you saying gendered correlation equates with, or should be conflated with, gendered causation? Or that gendered proportionality should be equated with, or attached to, absolutist notions or dimensions of collective culpabilities and vulnerabilities? Heretofore you’ve been very proficient in excluding everything other than gender, as it relates to who or what (aggregately) constitutes a homogenous class… Read more »
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/sv-datasheet-a.pdf Approximately 1 in 20 women and men (5.6% and 5.3%, respectively) experienced sexual violence other than rape, such as being made to penetrate someone else, sexual coercion, unwanted sexual contact, or non-contact unwanted sexual experiences, in the 12 months prior to the survey. SO …. not that different huh…..no where near 10 to 1 or 100 to 1. Add that domestic abuse is also pretty much evenly divided by gender. Women as a group are more likely to use certain methods vs the methods men as a group tend to use …… but we all are human and have… Read more »
You cherry picked. You forgot:
• 13% of women and 6% of men reported they
experienced sexual coercion at some time in their
lives.
Nearly 1 in 5 (18.3%) women and 1 in 71 men
(1.4%) reported experiencing rape at some time in
their lives.
Why did you leave these out?
Probably because those stats are already frequently brought up on a regular basis.
10 to 100 times. Wow, precise.
You sure don’t spend a proportionate amount of time administering collective responsibility to women for their roles in perpetuating these problems.
Apparently some things are determined by sex when girls and women have a significant more chance and exposure to sexual assault. Women are statistically also more likely to be murdered by a romantic partner then men are. No one claimed that all humans beings have both good and bad. But your response actually highlights the refusal for men to listen to women’s experiences. Which is a huge problem I see in general in our society. Just reflect on whose voice we are more likely to hear from in written works, film and even our history lessons in school are all… Read more »
“No one claimed that all humans beings have both good and bad. ”
That is exactly the core of my statement… That as a group men and women are about equal in their tendency to act either good or bad. Denying women’s ability toward evil and denying men’s ability toward good defeats one’s ability to find workable solutions.
Thank you! And GMP Is for ALL readers, although we focus on articles for and by men and about men’s stories and issues…this is the biggest issue of all in terms of difficult conversations we need to have.
We need to ungender the viewpoints in this article, instead work to help all victims regardless of gender. Put an end to it. Instead of grandstanding to attempt to sexually differentiate ourselves for personal gain as a white knight.
Really good points, and we address the “what about men?” questions and statistics quite often! The stats are overwhelming, though, against women, although we focus on all abuse, regardless of sex and gender.
“We address the ‘what about men?’ questions and statistics quite often! The stats are overwhelming, though, against women, although we focus on all abuse, regardless of sex and gender.” Forgive me, but the way you’re framing it would seem to suggest that one’s experience is prefaced uniquely on one’s gender, and is fundamentally (not partially) dissimilar with those of another gender. I would beg to point out that people who are female who experience abuse have much more in common with people who are male who experience abuse, than they do with females who do not, and vice-versa. I would… Read more »
“Men don’t want to believe that other men have done the worst things to women. Women don’t want to believe that other men have done the worst things to women. And so the cycle continues and progresses—even with proof that the worst things are, indeed, true.” There’s a crucial nuance that’s lost or ignored in this reductionism: You would argue that when a person who is male who does something (aberrant), it is thus then the simply the product and progeny of his collectivized gender; that an overarching, collective culpability & causality can be neatly affixed to it. It is… Read more »