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The age-old adage that men do not go to the doctor is still alive and well even in today’s modern age of life-prolonging medicine. Self-care is not only sexy, but it’s smart. Many men and women alike value caring for their looks, but we keep missing the biggest piece of our puzzle: what is happening inside our bodies.
The leading causes of death in males are a heart attack, cancer, and accidents. Two out of the three of these are preventable with annual screenings.
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In my chiropractic practice, men who present themselves in office for physical pain-related needs are often doing so either because they are in such extreme pain that their quality of life is directly affected, or because a spouse or partner has prompted them. The leading causes of death in males are a heart attack, cancer, and accidents. Two out of the three of these are preventable with annual screenings, yet we still see a stark difference in which sex is more likely to maintain wellness care. To drive the point further home, the CDC currently reports women are 33% more likely to visit the doctor than are men, and women are 100% better at maintaining screening and preventive care. It invites the question, do men not value their health and health prevention in the same capacity women do, and if not, why?
[I]f we believe health equals strength, and strength equals being “manly,” then the expression of illness or pain is attributed to being weak. Although it is a flawed concept, it doesn’t alter the notion that men don’t prioritize their health as women do.
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In an ever-evolving culture where men are given more and more space to be the feeling beings they truly are, we are still shaking off long ingrained ideologies about masculinity and strength. This is directly present in health; if we believe health equals strength, and strength equals being “manly” then the expression of illness or pain is attributed to being weak. Although it is a flawed concept, it doesn’t alter the notion that men don’t prioritize their health as women do. When it comes to concepts of masculinity men often feel pressured by the societal expectations of them to appear strong, yet they often truly feel selfish or needy if their own health care takes time away from work and family, whether for preventative medicine or pain care.
Socially, men are not always given the space they deserve to express their softer emotions, such as vulnerability and pain, in comparison to the space created for harder emotions such as anger, frustration, and hate. With little to no emotional support from male peers —especially in manual labor fields– it seems safe to generalize that most men see their pain as weakness. The best example of how society perceives illness in males is the common cold: How many tired jokes about “the man cold” have we all heard?
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When a man courageously addresses this perceived weakness and allows himself to get the health care he deserves, doing so could lead to resolving the health issues that were affecting his quality of life, whether those issues were potentially life-threatening or not. Another example and a common scenario most men power through is low back pain. Chronic low back pain can indicate insidious conditions such as colon cancer, nerve root compression, or disc degeneration. Seemingly innocuous low back pain can be a signal of life-long problems that were not appropriately treated.
Simple blood tests including cholesterol, liver enzymes, A1C, and blood sugar provide a baseline and can catch preventable diseases before they occur. With proper screening such as prostate and rectal exams, some types of cancer can be caught and treated well before they become life-threatening. With one quick, routine annual visit, men can have their doctor monitoring their whole health with ease—also preventing the likelihood of any life-threatening situations.
Caring for the physical and emotional body can lead to a man’s ability to create more, whether it is work life or hobbies. Caring for self also allows one to be more active, which doesn’t pertain just to exercise and productivity around home, like helping with house tasks, but it also leads to a better sex life.
Not only is sex important for bonding in relationships, but also fundamental to good health. Sexually active individuals experience less stress, and chemicals released during sex reduce pain. Other studies indicate sex helps decrease the risk of heart disease and boosts your immune system.
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Whether it’s yearly visits to a general practitioner or a monthly visit to a chiropractor, convincing men to prioritize their mind and body care is paramount to each man experiencing the best quality of life possible. One could argue that for a man with his own family, in order to provide the best love and care to his kin, he must start by caring for himself. The happiness of the whole unit is dependent on the well-being of each individual.
So men, when it comes time to make that decision to go to the doctor, allow yourself to put your well-being first. Trust that caring for yourself is the only path to caring for others. Honor the reality that with each man who comes forward and asks for the help he deserves, we shift our social paradigm. Above all know that what makes a man a man is not how strong he is, but how much stability he provides others. By prioritizing your well-being, you, in turn, provide well-being to your entire family and those you love.
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Also on the subject of men and self-care:
The Modern Male’s Self-Care and Self-Denial: A Massage Therapist Reveals All
The reason men see a licensed massage therapist tell us much about our society’s gender norms.
Today, a Little Self-Care Might Just Save Your Life
Most men suffer silently. Caring for ourselves can be as easy as taking a 7 day challenge.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
I find it interesting that the author of the article has not responded to any of the comments by posters here. Perhaps the input doesn’t fit the established narrative.
The reason why men don’t take better care of themselves is simple. The respect for a man’s need for privacy, dignity, and modesty are being totally ignored by the healthcare industry. Until a man can walk into his doctors ofc. and/or hospital & ask for and receive same gender care without being looked down on as weak by the medical community things will not get better. Ladies, when you go in for tests or procedures your dignity/privacy/modesty is protected to the best of their ability. Put yourself in your man’s shoes for a minute. Your man hasn’t had any healthcare… Read more »
This is an interesting discussion because what you speak of is one of the most glaring and insidious aspects of society’s preconceived expectation of and the resulting treatment of males. It is so convoluted that even a male speaking of such issues would be seen as less a man, so the real issue never sees the light of day, the myth continues, and we patronized, preached to about our egos, stubbornness rather than the truth. I’ve heard the truth from many a man, but always within the confines of the anonymous internet (which should tell us enough about this subject… Read more »
First let me say its imperative this issue get beyond this electronic world and into real life or good men and boys will continue to die from lack of treatment that could save their life. Most American men really don’t know how the US healthcare system operates. If they did, I suspect they wouldn’t tolerate it like the women didn’t & things would be totally different. If he hasn’t had any healthcare issues, he has absolutely no idea that the system is stacked against him right from the get go. It’s that not knowing how the system really works that… Read more »
There are a great many myths and preconceived notions about us that men need to set this society straight on, need to start to speak up about, and this is one of them. It is not “male ego”, or “stubbornness”, it is something very different, something unspeakable for fear it will shake the very fabric of our fairy-tale image. Agreed. The preconceived notions about men are mostly built on some desire to force men to believe that the root of all out issues trace back to men inflicting damage on themselves. That’s why when a man mentions his discomfort its… Read more »
Hi DJ: The only method I’ve found effective in getting women to understand what men are speaking against is to use the delivery room scenario. I ask her how venerable she’d feel if she was in the delivery room her legs spread wide in the stirrups when her doctor walks in followed by a group of males that her doctor didn’t tell her about previously. How would she feel having these strangers in her delivery room as she delivers her child. That scenario seems to turn on the light bulb for them. The modesty issue isn’t male exclusive. It does… Read more »
I will second the reality than lack of male nursing & tech staff greatly contributes to men not seeking health care as often as they should. As Edward noted one bad experience in which his exposure was treated as a spectator sport can scare many men away from healthcare. Others of us learn from those experiences to advocate for ourselves by asking for male staff and speaking up when we are being exposed beyond what the procedure requires, be that how much is exposed, for how long or to who we are exposed. Bladder cancer and a few other matters… Read more »
VBRU you are correct in that male patients are a spectator sport to the medical community. Look at the story out of Denver Co where nurses got caught opening a body bag a a deceased gentlemen just to get a look at his privates.
While he was alive, multiple healthcare workers were taking a look also.
The medical community has no respect for male patients and the Denver story just adds more proof to the statement.
Regards,
John
Let’s see if I’ve got this straight. We’re expected to walk into an exam room with a total stranger, demonstrate the ultimate in trust and faith by barring our body and soul, and providers’ repay that trust and faith with the ubiquitous assistant, scribe, or chaperone. Am I the only one that see’s the problem with this? These “professionals” are there solely for the provider’s benefit. Regardless of what actually happens in the exam room, what adult male patient would accuse a female provider of impropriety? The press would crucify him and the case would likely never end up in… Read more »
This can be an issue for some men, but not sure how it interacts with the essay. The first time that I called to set up my primary, so long ago, I was offered a choice of doctor’s sex. I chose a male, but that was under the recommendation of my wife (A nursing director, and consultant that knows just about every doctor in the state). There have been occasion where he was unavailable and was presented with a female associate. She was wonderful, mature, professional, caring and there was an instance level of trust. It can be a bit… Read more »
Generally I agree with you, especially your last sentence! That said, guys should never have to ask to be treated with dignity, empathy, or be afforded the same privacy that my wife and daughter routinely receive. My point, which I apparently failed to properly articulate, is that one negative experience at the doctors office will forever negatively affect his decision on seeking timely medical care!
Absolutely, Edward. I was not disagreeing with you on that count at all. healthcare is just the tip of the ice-berg. We certainly are not treated with the same sort of dignity that women and children are, across the board.
We hear all this talk about how men need to change, be more sensitive, vulnerable,caring in all we do. It’s all pigeon talk as society has not budged one iota in their perceptions of what men are and what men should be.
The business of healthcare, with few exceptions, is a prime example of such.