Before we start, let’s eliminate the eye roll at the “assumption” that every woman in the world acts this way.
Chill.
As men and women who are different, there are characteristics we look for in the dating market.
It is difficult to gauge whether someone fits the mold, so we inevitably test this out or look out for red flags.
These tests are necessary to vet or weed out those who won’t measure up to our needs in a relationship.
It is nothing to feel guilty or bad about doing to someone.
It is a surefire way to determine if you are dodging a bullet or not, fair?
A test is not necessarily in the form of grilling someone with questions or doing manipulative acts to elicit a response. It is simply gauging how someone reacts in certain situations.
If you are purposely doing these things, ladies, then relax. You’re only hurting your chances for success.
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The emotional response test
As I have stated in other articles, women search for comfort and security in their man, among other characteristics.
What does that mean?
While they can accomplish this alone, nothing is more reassuring than knowing your partner can provide or strengthen that feeling.
What it means is that when confronted with a difficult situation, how will you react?
Are you going to overreact, lose your cool and flip out?
Or
Are you going to be solution-oriented and solve the problem while remaining level-headed?
The quickest way to turn a woman off is to display that you can not keep calm when your emotions are in the swaying balance.
The test is simple. When you two disagree, are you the type of person who aims to find common ground? Or are you the type who has to be in the right and can not switch your stance because you would have to admit you were wrong?
A woman will quickly determine that if you two cannot settle disputes, you will not be able to handle issues in the future that would heavily outweigh a disagreement.
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The conformist test
Nothing turns someone off more than a “yes,” man.
You might believe the fairytale where you bend backward to make someone happy, no matter how much of your self-respect you lose in the process.
Conforming to anything someone requests of you will show that you will devalue your morals and values for validation and acceptance.
It shows weakness.
You do not have to agree with everything someone says to avoid being unagreeable.
It means you have a stance and an opinion on a topic and can stick with your choice or have a peaceful discussion to change it.
Having your values and morals says that you have your own unique experience and shaped who you are today.
Someone who folds under pressure and switches up will do so in any circumstance.
Women will test you and ask for your opinion.
They will even tell you they don’t see it from the same view, but if you can stay strong and have a concise basis for your opinion, they can accept it.
Not being in alignment on a topic does not make you a villain.
Yes, some dealbreaker topics can end the progress you’ve made dating. I am not delusional.
Most topics are up for discussion, and some require you to challenge your partner; don’t fold.
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The Chase
I will take some heat on this one because some people will say, “not all women like the chase.”
Kk
You may not like it, but this test occurs in different forms.
Do you double-text when you’ve gone a couple of hours without hearing from her? You failed.
Do you get over-eager and anxious to make plans without allowing her to feel a sense of space? You failed.
Most importantly, when there’s a challenge in your dynamic, when you need to be strong and walk away, do you? Good.
Do you panic and become a yes man? You failed.
The chase test is what ground you are willing to stand on as a man.
She is not necessarily looking to make this challenge, but she is subconsciously looking for your response.
Failing this test will set the stage for you to be on the weak end in the power struggle phase of the relationship.
It will let her know what you will accept and allow her to get away with doing to you.
I am not calling women children, but it is like you were as a kid in class or at home. You knew what lines you could push.
If you had a teacher or parent standing their ground, you knew what your limit was.
These tests will happen, and it is up to you to pass them.
Don’t become the person who calls out the test. Be a man who understands that these occur and that there is a proper way to respond to each.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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