Mothers Need Some Me-Time

It’s a little after 2 am and my husband wakes up to find me awake in the living room. His eyes are red and sleepy.

-It’s late, why don’t you sleep?
-I’m coming in a bit.
-Yea… And then you always say you don’t get enough sleep…
He looks at me like he wonders what am I really doing. I hear him talking to himself on his way back in bed. Something about his precious sleep.

Since we became parents, sleep has been a lot less than before. I’ve spent 5–6 years waking up at least 2 times every night. That’s over 2.000 nights of my 10.000 nights life (saying that I’m 30). I’ve been always sleepy for the past years that I got used to it. Now that my kids are grown and I don’t have breastfeeding, teething, sickness, crying, or just watching cartoons after midnight (midnight parties — as I call I back then), why don’t I just sleep and rest?

Did I get used to it so much that my body refuses to sleep well? I sleep last and I wake up first in this house. I miss a good resting night! My working days are so hard. I have to come at 4 pm and instead of sitting just for half-hour I have to cook, see if the kids did their homework, prepare lunch for school the next day, clean the house… I will never stop if I start saying what I have to do every day. Day off work is even worst. Most days I just feel I will pass out on my way to bed at night. But I will probably stay and sleep on the floor all night, wake up in the morning and keep doing what I always do like nothing happened.

Am I so overtired that my body cannot relax and sleep?

The thing is when everybody is asleep at night, the house is quiet. This is an important place to be after a full of noise and madness day. Time for myself, that’s what I need. Time to do something I want for me like shopping or watching a movie. Staying up late is the only thing that I can do to feel alone for once in years. And being a mother, this is necessary from time to time.

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I wasn’t born a mother, I was born a person. When I spend all day being a mother and doing everything for others, I just need some time to do something for myslef.

I was inspired to write this article by a YouTuber mum (Taina Licciardo-Toivola), who has 10 kids. I can’t even manage 2. Speaking about her everyday routine she said in a video that she sleeps at 8.30 pm with her kids, and wakes up at 2 or 3 am. That gives her about 2–3 hours to be alone. I bet she really needs it.

One day our kids will grow up, our house will be clean and quiet, and that day we can all sleep peacefully. But until then we have to be strong mothers!

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Previously published on medium

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