Question: my boyfriend and I are having a huge fight right now. He decided to take it upon himself to do something because he was watching out for my best interest, But I never asked him to and was pissed that he didn’t think I could handle the matter myself. He doesn’t believe he did anything wrong and I can’t see how he could be so blind. Am I overreacting or did he overstep?
Answer: This reminds me of another couple I’ve worked with in the past. There is hope 😉
We always act in accordance with our point of view, we always act in accordance with our values, yes? AND when we’re triggered or in fight, flight or freeze… We disconnect from our intelligence, intuition, heart and spirit… and often react from habitual instinct rather than grounded choice, yes?
I’m wondering how this all started before the fight… On the one hand your boyfriend could’ve been completely calm, doing something for you because he wanted to be your hero, not valuing your communication or agreement on the matter, just wanting to solve the problem for you quickly.
On the other hand you two might have already been fighting about the issue, or he might have been triggered into such discomfort witnessing the situation you were in and unable to sit in the fire and navigate his emotions, that he reacted and as you said, overstepped his boundaries and is now defensive.
Same with you my love, I’m not sure if initially you were calm and centered and methodically contemplating how you wanted to handle the matter yourself. I’m not sure if you told him to let it be or if you assumed he wouldn’t do anything or step in, assuming he trusted you to handle your world.
Now it seems you are triggered, hurt, offended and judging him as blind. It seems you’re feeling disgusted that he wouldn’t let you handle things yourself, thinking you inapt, unable, weak or incapable. Am I on the right track?
Bottom line the two of you are triggered and emotionally out of balance and unequilibrated with this whole situation. You both seem to be taking things personally and defending your point of view. I totally get it. Your hearts are closed. Yet forgive me, yet you’re not gonna get anywhere with this strategy! xox
I invite you to join me and a discounted strategy session together where I can support each of you in balancing and equilibrating your emotions. This way you can both see both sides of the situation from your own point of view and from their point of view. This will help you calm down, get grounded, reconnect with your intelligence, settle into your intuition, open your hearts, reestablish connection, apologize and make up for the damage done… so that we can see the greatest solution for you both!
Then we can establish a new aligned form of communication where you both are on the same page when situations like this arise in the future.
My goal is to reestablish trust and respect and get you back on the same wavelength with new skills of communication so that you don’t keep walking on land mines with each other.
Bottom line nothing is wrong here… seriously. You’ve simply (and uncomfortably) discovered an area of evolution and growth which if handled maturely with courage and humility, will deepen your relationship and expand your intimacy. Conscious relationships at it’s best 😉
Coming together with an open heart vulnerably is going to be outstanding for both of you, it’s my pleasure to hold space in creating that reunion.
Please go to www.allanapratt.com/connect now to register for that discounted strategy session so we can turn things around right away.
Thank you for reaching out, it’s my honor to love and support you.
Blessings, Allana xox
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Deliciously yours, Allana xoxo
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