Charming somebody is pure sales.
Think of the time you had to tell your school teacher why you didn’t complete your homework. Did she buy your excuse? If she did, the sales strategy worked.
We unconsciously deal with sales throughout our lives. From getting a job and negotiating a salary to explaining to your kid why they can’t eat chocolate cake every day, you’re applying sales.
You read self-help and sales strategies to apply them here and there and figure out with wins and fails if they’ll work out or not. Even you don’t like sales, it’s something you have to do day in and day out.
Recently when my boyfriend Nav and I were talking, I saw that his colourful stories contain the sales I’ve learnt in B-School, except that he was the product and women were his audiences.
I’d ask him how he did this every time he travelled — get a companion to hang out with, to work with, to stay with, and to do other things I would not mention as this is a family-friendly article.
What he told me was something we can apply in everything we do, whether it’s preparing for an interview or to do well in business. Anything that requires you to be charming and charismatic.
Step 1: Use Your Smartphone Wisely For a Change
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” — Dr. Seus
Do you have a crazy idea but don’t know how to make it a reality? Do you wish your life was that dreamy image you picture in your head but don’t know how to get there? Do you feel you need better financial knowledge?
If your answer was yes to any of the above questions, what is stopping you right now?
In a time when the world is available at our fingertips, you can learn everything from Youtube. Nav learnt how to have better soft skills and be more confident to approach a girl from Youtube. I wish I was kidding about the last bit. No, of course, I’m not possessive…
Step 2: Stop Giving Yourself So Much Importance
Nav and I were going to a party a few weeks ago. I told him I’d rather not because I’m super awkward with people. I know nothing about small talks and its difficult for me to meet and hang out with new people.
He told me,
“You feel afraid you’d say something wrong, or if people will like you enough. You’re scared to do something stupid. You feel conscious. But truth to be told, people are too busy drinking and having a good time to catch your flaws and mistakes.”
Which is so true!
In life, people are too busy with their own thing to care that much about us. Yet we spend so much time in our heads refraining to execute that one crazy idea or dream worrying what others will think of us.
Nobody cares so much about you and you live once, so you do you.
Step 3: Failure is Not Embarrassing, but is Important
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” — Paulo Coelho
I asked Nav how does he have the confidence to walk up to anybody at a bar, doesn’t he feel scared? What if you get rejected? What if she says something rude?
He told me he’s got rejected so many times but is indifferent to it, which is why he is okay to try again and again.
When you finally plan to execute your crazy idea, it could be a massive failure, and that’s okay. Because once you become okay with it failing, you’re not as afraid of trying.
So keep at it.
Not a Step, But the Most Important Step
Nav recommends every person to walk up to a total stranger and speak to them. For an introvert like me, it’s a nightmare. For many of my friends, it’s a step short of getting slapped on the face.
For Nav, it’s for the stories.
He told me about when he was walking in Greece and started speaking to a local woman; she could’ve completely ignored him. Instead, she made him meet her family, and they spent a lot of time together exploring local gems. He has fond memories of her because she made his time in Greece so special.
If it wasn’t for those 5 seconds of courage to speak to a woman passing him in a local market, this wouldn’t have happened. His stories about Greece would’ve been entirely different.
His motivation to speak to people everywhere he goes and attempts to charm them is only to take back stories with him because stories are all that we carry and can share with people around the world to resonate with.
While I’m proud of the person who he is and what he’s learnt, I do hope that the 3-step strategy is now used in places apart from charming women. But hey, at least they can help you with various things, whether business or leisure (wink).
Here’s a quick summary:
- Learn what you do not know, Google and YouTube are available at your fingertips.
- Know that people are not always thinking about you and analysing you, be unabashedly yourself.
- Have a mindset that you have to become indifferent to failures. More tries lead to more chances of failures, but also more chances to succeed.
Last, do it to enjoy the moment and take back a story with you. Good or bad, it’s something to carry with a full heart. Best of luck!
This post was previously published on Medium.
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
|Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often||Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It||The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex||..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything|
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Photo credit: Shutterstock