A daughter wants fathers to recognize everything they pass on—adultery included.
Dear Fathers of Daughters,
I know most of you guys realize that your girls look to you to teach them what to expect from themselves and from others. You know that if you disregard them, if you treat them like possessions, if you value them only for their beauty or for their place on your holiday card, if you tease them for being dumb or for being blonde or for being too girly or too butch, they will believe that those things are the Truth, with a capital T, about them.
You may also know that how you treat their mother will teach them how they deserve to be treated by others. You know that if you value women, your daughters will learn that they deserve to be valued. If you shit-talk women, they will learn that they deserve to be regarded as shit.
But there’s something more insidious that happens between fathers and daughters, too, something complicated and profound. Something I’m not sure I can explain without telling you how my father is, in a way, responsible for me being an adulterer.
My father was a photographer in Los Angeles. True to form, he married a model (my mother) and became an addict. It’s a story as old as time … well, as old as Hollywood time. He was so unbearably whiny, depressed, needy, moody, and temperamental that when he found another model who was younger and prettier, my mother wasn’t altogether displeased to let him be the charge of this new woman, Elyse.
But I was very small, perhaps six years old, and all I saw was my mother being left alone by the father I adored for this young, vibrant 26 year-old. And boy was Elyse beautiful.
I watched the way my father regarded Elyse. Once she came downstairs in a pair of his beat-up old Levis, cut into shorts. He looked her up and down and was clearly mesmerized. He said, “nice legs” and she shot him a half-smile and went outside to water her flowers. I made a mental note: Always act like you already know anything a man tells you. Oh, and have great legs.
Based upon what I said when I opened this letter to you daddies, you’d think I would’ve married a cheater. I didn’t. I married an incredibly nice guy. A handsome guy who believes the sun wakes with me every morning and sets with me at night. He believes I am smart, strong, gorgeous, sexy and funny. He would wear a giant foam finger that says “#1 Fan” just below my picture if that existed.
He isn’t perfect, he can be distant and cold and quick-tempered. I’m often alone, emotionally and physically. But he’s about as good a husband as they realistically come.
Then one day I watched a man walk into a PTA meeting at my son’s school and everything changed. It was so clear to me that this man was special and important that I made a point to be invisible, avoiding him at all costs. And then one day he approached me, we chatted, and it turned out he was brilliant and funny and perfectly awkward and self-aware. I thought to myself, I’m thoroughly fucked.
I had not even had so much as a crush on a guy in the eight years before I met Mark. But when Mark walked through that door it was like a spotlight was shone on him and I couldn’t walk away. When we became friends on Facebook (mistake number one), I fell in love with his words. I am a word-nerd. A clever turn of phrase is seduction. We became great friends and spent time together at school volunteering. We laughed non-stop and within a short time we had a deep bond. We never talked of love or sex or attraction. We didn’t need to.
Mark adored his wife, Allie. She was a power player in The Industry and he was a freelance writer working from home with his kids. Every day was a new story about Allie, how Allie could name any song in the first five notes, or how Allie looked incredible in a trench coat. Allie was the best gift-wrapper, had the ass of a 20-year-old, and drank bourbon straight up.
We didn’t see each other for a few months in the summer but talked daily. When I ran into him the week school started, I could see in his eyes that he was in love with me. I hadn’t been trying to make him love me, but I loved him immediately and I should have known better than to be anything more than passing acquaintances.
We started an affair, but one purely of words. We avoided each other in person and went a year without seeing one another. We didn’t want to be cheating so we stayed away. In that time, we would “break up” over the guilt probably five times. We were both in love with our spouses but believed we were somehow meant to be together. I couldn’t imagine being without him. He was the other half of me that I hadn’t known was missing.
But then Allie found out about us, and it was over. Mark, rightly so, cut all ties with me. We had never touched, never been closer than three feet away, but we were in love, and in most ways that is worse.
I was wrecked. It was the worst breakup of my life. Worse than when I divorced my first husband, worse than breaking up with my live-in boyfriend after three years. Losing Mark was the worst thing that had ever happened to me, and I was crushed. For a very, very long time.
Every once in a while Mark would write me just to say hello. When I wrote him back he would disappear, which would gut me. I would reach out to him sometimes, I couldn’t help it, always in terror that Allie would find out and go ballistic and tell my husband or shoot me through the heart with a crossbow or something.
Finally we had a perfect moment of closure. We ran into each other at school and admitted that we had been in love, and that what we had was very real, very authentic. We knew there was no other way to go than to focus on our families. We parted ways peacefully and perfectly.
But it wasn’t enough for me. It should have been resolved. I am an incredibly strong person, and I should have been able to move on. What the hell was wrong with me? I Googled “genetics and infidelity” and found some interesting (very) early data about a so-called Cheater’s Gene, a variation of DRD4, that made me wonder if somehow I was predetermined to become my father: a charming, boozing, pot-head who would jump from relationship to relationship. It was sort of terrifying, but I had thus far resisted the boozing and the drugs. The key to living a different life just had to be within me.
Finally, while walking in front of a large reflective storefront window, I stopped. I looked at myself closely. I was in what my friends and husband call my uniform: tomboy-ish jeans, classic boots, a deep v-neck tee shirt that showed off my thin chest and prominent collarbones. I wear my hair in a severe chin-length bob. I feel good, unique, classic. But I look like her. Like Elyse, the woman my father left my mother for. I only wear grey, black and white as a rule. So did Elyse. I don’t wear heels or miniskirts or short shorts or anything trendy. Neither did she. I had somehow morphed into her and never noticed it.
And now I was the other woman. I realized, in that moment, that my love for Mark was very real, very much about how incredible he was. It was genuine, powerful, and authentic. But my inability to let him go was about my dad. I needed to feel powerful. I needed something from Mark that I never wanted and would never have asked for.
I needed him to tell me he would leave his wife for me. It was the only thing that would satisfy me. It felt like it was the only thing that would heal me. The fucked thing is, one reason I loved Mark was because of his commitment to what was best for his daughters and his wife. I would never want him to leave them. But some part of me was screaming for it.
And finally that realization was what started my healing process, nearly two years after meeting Mark. I wanted the power to pull a man from his beautiful family. I wanted to be Elyse, and not be my mother.
I’m still trying to find a way to let him go, to tease out what I’m doing when I start an email to him and then delete it, which is still nearly daily. It’s hard to know what part of me misses him and what part of me just wants to feel that power. If we were both single, I’m sure we would be an epic couple. That part of us was authentic. But for now I remind myself that I am powerful just by virtue of being my own, talented self, and by doing the work to be better.
No longer do I fall for the tricks of my subconscious that tell me I want Mark for myself. That fantasy is the quicksand in my heart, the part of my heart that was damaged by my father’s infidelity. I step into it and I sink, sink, sink into my old daddy-wounds. And that’s what I want to convey to you guys, you fathers of daughters. I want to tell you that where you put your love is where your daughters will want to go. Be it now or when they’re 35 years old and you’ve been duped into thinking your little girl emerged unscathed by your infidelity.
Dads, we daughters are a canvas upon which your behaviors paint a map of our futures. We can veer off that map, toward health and strength instead of your legacies of mistakes, but it’s very hard, like paddling up-stream on a raging river. I am certain any parent’s infidelity affects children of both sexes, and I don’t want to pass this legacy on to my own children. I want the Truth of me to be that I fought against my legacy, and ultimately made a better choice.
—Photo Spirit-Fire/Flickr
For 3 years the OP was MIA from her marriage because of a fantasy she never took full charge of. She dreamed of being with a bespoke man instead of her husband who she describes in terms so passionless that, were I he, would have me taking the door. A wise man once advised that if you are going to indulge in fantasies of this sort then ride them (mentally) to their natural end. imagine the breakups, the divorce court proceedings, the look of betrayal in your childrens’ eyes, the tears, self-loathing and alienation, and the repeat – when the… Read more »
Brilliant, simple advice:
“A wise man once advised that if you are going to indulge in fantasies of this sort then ride them (mentally) to their natural end. imagine the breakups, the divorce court proceedings, the look of betrayal in your childrens’ eyes, the tears, self-loathing and alienation, and the repeat – when the cycle starts over for one or both of you.
Imagine reading your loving/cheating e-mails in the divorce trial record. The whole sordid mess in all it’s likely outcomes.”
This piece nicely reminds those of us raising children that the way we live our lives, the way we carry ourselves, the way we behave and treat other people – it all has a great impact on our children, far beyond here and now. We show our children how life is lived. In our family interactions we show how to be a family, how to conduct loving relationships, how to be partners. We can only try our best to set good examples, and hope we do not make too many mistakes that turn out to be traumatic for the kids.… Read more »
The title of the article made me want to read it. Kudos to the headline writer for that. The article itself seemed to say something substantially different, with much less blaming and deflecting of accountability. What I saw was the story of an emotional attachment that in the author’s eyes, and those of many women from what I’ve heard, was enough to count as an affair. However, they kept their distance physically and eventually cut off the intimate friendship altogether, which to my man brain, means no affair happened. Some boundaries were breached and I can see why the other… Read more »
I think Anonymous had an affair, and that she knows perfectly well she did, and that so does Mark, the guy involved. Who knows what her husband is like, but he’s as likely to think, no PIV intercourse, no foul, as to agree with his wife that an emotional affair is a breach of the marital agreement. Monogamous couples are typically expected to not only reserve sexual intimacy for one another, but also other kinds of intimacy.
I try to take an objective approach to stories like this. I like to test some of the conclusions by seeing where they lead, to see how much of it I can agree with. With this piece, I kind of buy it, kind of don’t. In this case, I couldn’t help but notice that the author is a parent herself. She has a son. If her father’s infidelity had a profound influence on her relationships, then presumably her infidelity will have a profound influence on her son’s relationships. Her son may be unfaithful someday because she was unfaithful. In principle,… Read more »
I think that’s what she means by this, wellokaythen:
” I am certain any parent’s infidelity affects children of both sexes, and I don’t want to pass this legacy on to my own children. I want the Truth of me to be that I fought against my legacy, and ultimately made a better choice.”
I am sorry BUT you had an affair, you knew you would, STOP BLAMING your father and take FULL 100% no questions asked responsibility for your own actions.
Jeez, I am so sick and tired of people of this generation blaming everyone else but themselves.
While I can appreciate this being written as a letter to fathers of daughters to let them know how their behavior affects them I’m wondering why this isn’t perhaps also being written as a letter to daughters of fathers on what behaviors not to pick up (advice on how to “veer off that map”).
That’s a good point. That could apply to any addictive and/or destructive behavior that seems to be linked generationally. I think that’d be a brilliant piece for someone to write: A child of an addict or adulterer (or abuser, or whatever) and how they didn’t grow into what their parents chose. Personally, my husband’s father was physically abusive and a drunk, and my father, too, was an addicted adulterer, like the author. I don’t know that either of us could write on how to grow away from these legacies perfectly due to the fact that neither of us did grow… Read more »
Recognizing the triggers of our historical issues is 100% necessary in healing old wounds. It isn’t an *excuse* for my husband to say that he drank too much partly because he has a genetic tendency and also because he was raised in alcoholism (and coping with the abuse he endured/witnessed), it’s simply a recognition of something that is very scientifically documented: alcoholism runs in families. I see this come up in talk about Domestic Violence a good bit. I have no first hand experience on how the counseling of (male) abusers goes but outside of the counseling office and on… Read more »
This is getting closer to the truth about why letters like this are important. Whether you are a parent, we’re all children of someone. We learn things without realizing what we’ve learned until we are forced by our circumstances and/or personal resolve to see our behaviors in a larger context. It doesn’t excuse a bad decision to explain where it arose; it alerts me to the sorts of situations in which I am likely to make bad choices, so I can work at being more aware the next time I’m tempted. Whether your outlet is smoking cigarettes, cutting, some other… Read more »
Somehow, somewhere, in America there must be a person left of either gender under the age of 45 who wants to own his/her life and not place culpability for their behavior with their parents, their economic status, their gender, their race, or popular culture. Whenever anyone makes such a claim, they fail to account for the many, many more individuals from identical circumstances who do not transgress. What shall we say to the millions of women whose loving fathers were adulterers who did NOT choose to become adulterers themselves? “We can veer off that map, toward health and strength instead… Read more »
Looks like you changed your mind during the paragraph break.
What a powerful and provocative piece. I am not sure that this is as gender specific as fathers/daughters. A close friend had a dad who cheating and he himself lost his first marriage when he was found cheating despite his anger at his dad’s behavior. The scar of infidelity witnessed by a child is something that is hard to get beyond, no matter what your gender.
Um, taking responsibility for your cheating would be something I would imagine feminists would encourage, not discourage- blaming it on Daddy seems to me to be infantalizing, which is pretty anti-feminist. Just saying, no need to feminist-bash.
I wrote a bit about this on my blog here- http://purrversatility.blogspot.com/2011/11/cheating-is-responsibility-of-cheater.html
There is a lot of talk on here about ethics and responsibility. The way I read this article is that the author IS taking responsibility for her actions. Responsibility is not something cut and dry. You can sit behind your computer and dish out all the moral idealism you want. Frankly, down in the real world nothing is ever that easy. The author was thrown into a situation that she, over the course of her life, had to work out and deal with. This author in my view is a clearly ethical person. I mean that in the sense that… Read more »
What’s that bitter taste in my mouth? Must be from all the righteous indignation up in this tread. Moralizing people? I thought this to article to be refreshingly honest and expressed in a matter free of the “shoulds and coulds” that unhealthly restrict many of us from the type of deep and meaningful introspection of its author. She is struggling to understand her motivations… Dont you think that her effort serves her best when time comes again to make the choice to “cheat”? Or would you rather her just “man up” and blindly follow the rules, never challenging them and… Read more »
I also don’t understand the people saying that we would treat this story differently if it were written by a man. Hugo has freely admitted and talked about cheating on 2 of his 4 of his wives. His stories are even more sympathetic than this one.
it’s so much easier to be indignant and self righteous and I’m sure we’ve all acted that way in the past but I for one have learnt better than to put anything into black and white terms. It makes everyone look like an idiot for no one is perfect, not their actions, not their thoughts. Never say never. I pretty much believe if you haven’t cheated yet it’s because you haven’t had the opportunity with an attractive enough person. Yes Linguist, my husband does know of ‘our ‘ policy and it works very well for us. At the end of… Read more »
OOOOOk can we not get fatphobic here please? kthnx
agreed. I have a beautiful wife who is a bigger woman, she eats well, walks daily and we have a healthy happy sex life and marriage. however she did have to grow up with society and the media telling her to hate herself because she didn’t look like a barbie doll. I’m trying to make it that my two girls will be able to see through all that. I hate that fatphobia shit.
You can’t live authentically until you OWN who you are. I applaud her efforts to understand some of the influences in her life, I have a very hard time listening to someone who won’t willingly see that she made her own choice. Blaming daddy and genetics (and a husband who’s distant) isn’t going to help. She really needs to put away the excuses and look at what she values, believes, needs and wants. My guess is that she won’t like some of the answers or the work involved in living her life in a way that matches her actions to… Read more »
maybe im getting it mixed up, but are you saying that in terms of having a husband, being emotionally and physically alone is as good as it gets? If that was your attitude, no wonder you would fall for someone else. everyone deserves to have someone, and it can certainly be better than that. my wife and i have been crazy about each other for 18 years. That’s what my 2 girls see, and I agree with everything else in this article.
Whether cheating is passed on via DNA or through intergenerational transmission, it is ultimately up to an adult “cheater” to be accountable for his/her actions. After reading this piece — which I found incredibly sad and lonely — it seems to me that the author, and perhaps her father, struggle less with monogamy than with love addiction.
I can’t sit comfortably in moral judgment, because that would make me a hypocrite. I put myself in a very similar position one time and have taken responsibility for it, and I know what it’s like to be in the middle a bad situation that I created. My room to judge is infinitely small. My criticism here is with a huge logical blind spot in this article. I wonder if anyone else noticed this. The message is for fathers to be aware that their behavior influences their daughter’s lives. Their father’s infidelities may have a profound influence on their children’s… Read more »
Its interesting that an article of this nature is coming from a woman. Monogamy is not Natural, its a contraption just like a car, democracy, free market, created to define humans as higher intelligence creature an element of Civilization. Author, If you stay faithful in a relationship its because you are ethical. I applaud the you for your honesty, and you didn’t cheat because cause another woman under the same condition would say fuck it i would seduce him. But the question here is, Are you happy?. How long would you continue goggling the internet looking for excuses not do… Read more »
What?? My mother cheated on my father, and I have the desire to have sex with people who are NOT my partner… Do I blame it on my mother? No.
You have an odd way of looking at things.
The issue with proper accountability is not that there are no mitigating factors that diminish, to some varying level of degree, the ability to make a full and conscious choice, rather, it’s that everyone can lay claim to some level of mitigating factors. So I blame my dad, he blames his mom, his mom blames her father, her father blames the magistrate of the village who then blames the appointee of the region who points to a biblical passage dictated from God herself. The assumption that everyone is exposed to some level of persuasion and/or coercion does not strip away… Read more »
Very well said. I think it’s an important step for a person to realize where some of her influences come from. I have NO problem with tracing some of that back to a person’s past in an attempt to understand why she does what she does. That’s all good. The problem I have with this article is that it seems to stop there and go no further, largely laying responsibility at the feet of other people. The last paragraph kind of moves towards suggesting taking responsibility, but it’s still not very big on owning her choices. Seems to me the… Read more »
I agree very much with both of you. On a site like this, though, which wants personal stories, I saw it more as an explanation and rant, rather than an excuse–but I could be wrong. It’s now started to remind me of how when a man sleeps around on his wife, everyone just goes…well he did because…he’s a man and…cavemen. Yes, 2 million years ago some human predecessor went out and paid a transvestite to give him a blowjob (I know that’s an exaggerated story, but still)? It’d be worth it to look into the past or your genes to… Read more »
To be fair, I think the title was probably not the author’s choice, but an editorial decision meant to grab the reader’s attention. It doesn’t quite match what the author says in the body of the piece. I’ve almost gotten used to that practice by now, but not quite.
Good point. Misleading titles and taglines are a common thing.
And, now that I look at it again, the title just says he made her “want to cheat,” not “made her cheat.” It’s not a total abdication of responsibility.
Perhaps that’s where I was hoping to see a bigger distinction within the author’s point of view. Wanting to do something and doing it are two very different things. If there’s no difference between desiring someone and having an affair with someone, there’s a big problem with not recognizing one’s own agency.
Welcome to the human race, OP! My theory is that many more of us are like this than we say.
Sally,
Does your husband know about the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy? Or is that also covered by the “don’t tell”?
I have a perverse admiration for people who like this poster do something wrong and write honestly about it. But I agree with others – that women are allowed to excuse their own bad behavior by blaming some man somewhere. In this case, it isn’t the poster who is at fault, but her father?
No man would get any sympathy for an article like this. I’m encouraged that for the most part this author isn’t also.
I would give a man the same reaction for an article like this as I would a woman. It’s not an excuse, but our past can be used to explain or make sense of how we act and think. And as for Sally, it’s not her daddy that makes what she does ok, it’s the agreement that she has with her husband, which seems like a very good one to me. Honesty is usually the best, but a lot of partners don’t want to know absolutely everything, even in an open marriage. A marriage doesn’t have to be monogamous to… Read more »
I’m all for bringing tough to discuss issues into the light, which is what this article did. So in that vein, bravo. But that’s where my admiration ends. You’re in your 30s and by your own admission didn’t start cheating until recently. As Eric pointed out, you’re not a girl or even in your early 20s. You know right from wrong. Hell, given your dad’s infidelity you should know it more than most. If anything, you should have a clearer notion of why cheating is so destructive. But instead, you do research specifically with the goal of being able to… Read more »
“It’s not a black person’s fault…” if you would’ve just said a person, then you it would’ve been easy to hear your point. I mean, I agree with it but you don’t have to racialize it. This reveals your own agenda here. Be careful with the race comments.
Oh and Paul, we have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy so it’s not technically cheating.
I think what a lot of the comments here are trying to say is that choices are just that, choices. They are the responsibility of the chooser. Trying to blame parents, society, or whatever is ridiculous. As for hypocritical and unreasonable, how is it unreasonable to expect someone to take responsibility for themselves and their choices? It is hypocritical to point a finger of blame or responsibility at others, regardless of whether ‘most people don’t quit when they turn 30’ is true or not. You are a cheater. Period. You entered into a marriage and are having extra-marital affairs. This… Read more »
Yeah, how is it backstabbing if you don’t have a don’t ask don’t tell policy? That actually sounds like a great arrangement. Complete and brutal honesty can cause a lot of jealousy and fighting, while full monogamy cause cause a lot of frustration and fighting. As an adult, a parent’s actions are not an excuse, but can certainly be an explanation. While they don’t make everything we do ok, a lot of our experiences, especially as children shape how we act and think (for better or for worse). For example, my mother’s extremely conservative views on sex caused me to… Read more »
Sophist–she clearly stated that she and her partner have a don’t ask don’t tell policy. That gives her license, not her dad. She doesn’t have to excuse anything–but this site features a lot of personal stories, so she’s allowed to explain, as I’ve said in my above comment. Sally–I understand. Though I’m in a very happy and sexually awesome relationship, it’s hard not to look at other men (and sometimes, women) wherever I go and just want to…*clears throat*. It gets to the point of being highly distracting at times. I haven’t cheated on my partner and don’t plan to,… Read more »
I don’t understand how qualifying it as an “explanation” rather than an excuse makes it any better. If I’m hungry, I can eat a piece of cheesecake, or I can eat a salad. No matter which I choose, the explanation for why I’m eating is “I’m hungry” yet one is still a healthy choice and the other not so much. Your own story is also an example: you rebelled “because of your mother.” But if you had conformed, it would also be “because of your mother.” So really, no matter what choice you made, the explanation would be the same.… Read more »
What an excellent article! Since my mother once had an affair, I now have license to cheat on my SO as much as I like.
Oh wait… that excuse only works for women blaming Daddy for their infidelity? Darn.
So Paul what you’re saying is the article shouldn’t have been written at all? The point of this site is to discuss subjects that are meaningful but divisive. If I reacted as harshly to other articles where men are incredibly rude and offensive written on this site as you have to this one nothing would get written and no open discussions that could possibly change behaviours and/or minds would ensue. Are you this harsh with men who cheat or think about cheating or do you reserve your rancour for women only…. I suspect the latter. At the end of the… Read more »
Where was I rude? I didn’t use any personal insults (like calling her stupid) I disparaged her actions. If you post something on a public forum, you are explicitly inviting people to comment on it, whether they agree or don’t. If the author didn’t want to face negative feedback on her ideas, then she shouldn’t have posted. And damn right I would be ” This harsh with men who cheat or think about cheating.” You have no call tthink otherwise, other than some need to paint me as a bad guy (because, I suspect, I touched a nerve.) Though the… Read more »
I’m going to have to agree with the author whose story is almost exactly like mine. In fact the first half I wondered if I’d somehow woken in my sleep last night and authored it myself…. My father was a cheater and turns out I am too. Men like to think only men do it. Perhaps they think it makes them more powerful, more in control, they can call the shots in their relationships – to cheat or not to cheat as if they are the only ones who feel desire, lust or seek connection through physical acts. Turns out… Read more »
Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night Sally. Have you told your husband about your “extramarital activities?” If not, why? If sex is no big deal, as you say, then why keep it a secret? I ain’t a prude, if your husband’s cool with it, by all means go for it. But I can’t abide liars and backstabbers. As for this article, I gotta side with Eric and James. Once you’re past 18 it’s time to grow up and accept that everything you do after this point is your owm damned fault. Can you imagine the response… Read more »
“Once you’re past 18 it’s time to grow up.”
But how does one do that? It’s always easy to see what others must do. But the way is not always obvious from the inside looking out. It seems to me this author has shown great courage and insight in confronting her past. I wish I could look at my life with the same ruthless honesty.
Men don’t think that only men cheat. We know better. The feminist led media want EVERYONE to BELIEVE that only men cheat, and when women do cheat, it must be the fault of men. Just like this article does. The truth is women are just as lustful and dishonest as men. Equality!
Luckey, I agree with you…and I’m a feminist. It’s true that women can be just as lustful and dishonest as men. But where in the world did you get the idea that “feminist led media wants EVERYONE to BELIEVE that only men cheat”?? That would be *extreme* feminism, but not mainstream. Feminist is for equality, valuing women and men the same (while recognizing their differences, because, of course, we’re different!). Keep in mind there are extremists in everything: from feminism, to religion, to personal values & beliefs. So I’d appreciate it if you withheld yourself from making sweeping generalizations about… Read more »
Oh for heaven’s sake. Of course women cheat. Strict monogamy really doesn’t seem to work. I can’t think of a single woman’s magazine that hasn’t had articles on the problems of “getting caught” “being the other woman” as well as men’s cheating issues. Humans sneak around and justify it all the time. This is simply a POV piece about one woman’s discovery about family dynamics that influence her life and relationships. I could write a POV piece about being raised by a mother after my father died and title it, “Daddy please don’t die.” and list all the dynamics I’ve… Read more »
Wait, there’s a feminist-led media?! What channel?
Lifetime
Eric is completely right. And if a man had authored the same piece, again, no sympathy from me and id completely reject the reasoning offered. Daddy’s fault???
Siu, if you fell for this, then are you very very vulnerable to manipulation