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In March 2017, I ran my first-ever marathon for my daughter, Emma. This year, March 2018, I’m running to raise money for St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital. St. Jude’s is a charity hospital which provides free care to children with catastrophic diseases. The funds needed to help these children and their families come from donations. As a father who understands the worries of caring for a sick child, I’m inspired by St. Jude’s message – the only thing parents should have worry about is helping their child live.
The Story Behind My First Marathon
Emma was only a few months old when she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Because of her condition, she suffered debilitating weight loss and low muscle tone. Following a successful operation at nine months old, she underwent more than a year of intense physical therapy. Sessions were usually tough, but I distinctly remember one morning when her distressed screams would not stop. She struggled to express her pain and fear through heaving sobs. As she hugged me and cried into my shoulder, I promised that I would find a way to share her struggle. Of course, there was no obvious way to keep this promise. But, nearly two years later, the random thought to run a marathon crossed my mind.
I went for it and signed up for the L.A. Marathon. The run brought back tough memories. The marathon in 2017 was more than just a way to keep my promise to Emma. It helped me process the overwhelming events of the previous three years.
At mile 15, the race turned down San Vicente Blvd. in West Hollywood. Just up that road was the Saperstein ICU at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Running through that neighborhood brought back many painful memories. I remembered Emma laying in her hospital bed in the days leading up to her operation. She had a fever, her vitals were slowly dropping and the doctors had concerns about a potential bacterial infection. But she was running out of time, and she went into the operation facing some unsettling risks.
Mile 17 took me past the Beverly Hills Courthouse, where my wife and I got married. I thought about the fun times we had before Emma was born and how excited we felt as new parents. But, Emma’s needs in recovery became so overwhelming that we didn’t have the time, or the energy to focus on our marriage. For a while, our relationship seemed to be falling apart. Now, with Emma doing better we were finally starting to make time for each other.
Around mile 20, I ran by the office building where I worked in investment banking. I took the job shortly after Emma was born, knowing that the hours would be long and balancing life would be tough. However, I couldn’t anticipate the stress that would follow Emma’s diagnosis. She was physically delayed and in need of therapy at least twice a day. That meant I was balancing the roles of dad, therapist and analyst. For a stretch four months, I averaged 20 hours of sleep each week.
At mile 25, I wanted to quit. Every single muscle below the waist hurt and my knees were locking up. But as I neared the final stretch on Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica, I thought about Emma’s therapy sessions in the bluff park alongside the road. For months, she struggled through intense daily exercises before she had the strength to take her first steps. Remembering my promise to Emma, I finished the last half-mile at a strong pace.
My Message for the Families
I understand what a child’s illness can do to a family, and a career. Parents of children at St. Jude’s experience intense and difficult situations in their relationships at home and at work. Frustrations and feelings of helplessness can be difficult to manage against the urgent needs of their child. Emma’s journey has put many significant obstacles in my path. But I’ve overcome many of them in the same way that I finished the marathon – I just kept going. Because no matter how painful, or slow, one more step was always possible.
To support my run and research at St. Jude’s, please visit my official St. Jude’s page; you’ll find the link below, in my author bio.
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