Question: Allana, what is the best way to savor/revive a friendship that had a nasty failing out? My best friend (well I guess former best friend) and I were so close but one nasty fight later and we aren’t speaking and haven’t been for a few months now. I don’t want things to end this way but I don’t want to be the first to break the ice.
Answer: Thank you for your question… This must really hurt your heart if indeed this was your best friend and that you haven’t been connected or speaking for months. I’m sorry.
I wonder what happened in the fight… I wonder what the gift was… What the opportunity was… What message the universe was trying to give you through having this misunderstanding with your friend. Sometimes, friendships are not forever and this is a sign that your sacred contract is complete. Sometimes, it takes a best friend to be able to reveal our deepest wounds and this is a gift to show you what’s hidden in there and ready to heal.
I would ask you to take 100% responsibility for your part in the argument and apologize for that and talk about how you’re going to heal and evolve that part of you. If you’re interested in reconnecting and reviving your friendship again then you would definitely want to ask how you can make up for the pain that occurred, how you can make up for the damage done. Nothing is ever one person’s fault entirely so I am hoping that by being so evolved and gracious and willing to apologize first, that your friend would also be able to take 100% responsibility for their part in the matter, do their growth as well, and make up for the damage done on their side as well. That truly shows two people willing to grow stronger together. If that doesn’t happen, please don’t take it personally because we all grow at our own pace and sometimes friendships were only meant for a period of time.
I experienced a curious situation where my friendship with somebody was very strong and when I was supportive as a sister, Mentor, safe place to land, taking care of her… Our friendship deepened… Yet we decided to live together and pay rent together and then everything blew up fast! Perhaps I was meant to grow in being generous and trusting the universe would take care of me even while taking care of another… And it wanted us both to know it was time to stand on our own 2 feet and soar! My lesson or coaching to me was that I was generous to a fault and I’m willing to take that point of you into consideration as well 🙂
Let me know if that helped and how things go and one main key as you go through these conversations and communications is to release judgment and open an allowance of however they think and feel and behave… Do your best not to take anything personally and to allow them their journey just like you allow your own journey. And I’m so grateful he reached out,
All my love, Allana xox