If your partner has a sex addiction, you may feel powerless. Perhaps you discovered this unknowingly. You found text messages in their phone or sexy pictures that they’ve been exchanging back-and-forth with random people. You caught them on the phone talking sexually with somebody that you don’t know. Or, your partner came to you and confessed that they have a sex addiction. Whatever the case may be, it is excruciating to try to emotionally navigate a partner who has a sex addiction. Here is what you can do to help yourself get through these issues.
Is my relationship over?
When you discover that your partner has a sex addiction, no matter whether they confess to you or you found evidence of the addiction, it’s difficult to come to terms with, and you will have a lot of complex emotions. You may be wondering, “Is my relationship over?” The answer is: not necessarily. It can come to an end when both parties decide that’s best. If your partner is willing to work on their sex addiction and individual therapy and couples counseling, there is hope for your relationship. They must see sex addiction as a problem and want to work through it. You cannot fix this issue for them or try. they need to be dedicated to working through the sex addiction in their treatment.
You didn’t do anything wrong
One of the things that could be going through your mind is, “did I do something wrong? Am I unattractive?” It’s crucial to remember that your partner’s sex addiction has nothing to do with you. It’s not because of your physical attractiveness or lack thereof, but rather it’s due to their issues with sex and sexuality. It has to do with their problems with impulsivity when it comes to sex. It’s not helpful to take these issues on as your own. You need to decide whether you would like to try to remedy the relationship and understand their addiction. Part of understanding what they’re struggling with is accepting that you did not do anything wrong. If your partner tries to tell you that their addiction is your problem, then you need to step back and not take that in. That’s a sign that they’re not ready to accept that they have a sex addiction. Many times people who are struggling with addiction want to blame others for their problems, and that will not get them to help that they need. Don’t take on someone else’s issues. They need to acknowledge what they’re dealing with and try to get better.
It’s okay to end the relationship if that’s what you want
You may find after going to couples counseling that you don’t want to be with your partner anymore. If they cheated on you as a result of the sex addiction, the trust is broken. You could try everything that you can to remedy the relationship, but it’s just not working. That’s okay, and you can decide to end the relationship if that’s what you need. There’s nobody telling you you have to stay with your partner. Even if you’re married, you can decide to separate from that person. Having a sex addiction doesn’t mean that the relationship needs to be over for certain; however, it’s okay to decide to end a relationship that is not working or causing unhappiness and distress.
Couples counseling can help
Couples counseling is a safe place for you and your partner to talk about sex addiction. They can speak about the issues concerning sex addiction and what they’re struggling with, and you have an opportunity to talk about how their sex addiction is impacting your relationship with them. It’s important to have an open and honest dialogue with your partner about their addiction. That way, you can grow to understand what they’re struggling with and see if you can work through these issues together. A couple of therapists will serve as a mediator between the two of you, and perhaps you can get to a place where you are compassionate toward each other. You can learn more about sex addiction by clicking here. It can help to read about the condition so that you have a better understanding when you go to couples counseling to talk it out.
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