Even at an early age, he knew what he wanted.
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This Mother’s Day was one that I did not expect. It was the first time I had no communication with my oldest son, but I was expecting that and knew in the week following Mother’s Day, I would be in Parris Island, South Carolina watching him graduate from USMC Boot Camp and become a Marine. Unfortunately, the most well laid out plans do not always go as expected.
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My son was not an easy child. He was kicked out of five daycare establishments and attended several elementary schools. When he was three years old, I went to his daycare facility to observe him (they said he was trouble.) I witnessed a group discussion with the entire school about the American Flag that was on display. When asked what the top left of the flag shapes were (the stars) my son raised his hand and told the teacher that those were the states. I was told he was difficult and he was classified as learning disabled. His disability was revealed as being very intelligent and his peers and his teachers did not understand him.
Saying goodbye was very difficult but I knew in 13 weeks I would be celebrating his graduation from boot camp and the start of his career.
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Since he was seven years old he has wanted to be a marine. He was the first sixth grader in middle school to be allowed to join the ROTC program. The head of the program told me my son “wore him down” by asking him constantly to join. After eighth grade, he was accepted into the Aeronautical Engineering program at one of the public high schools and joined the high school ROTC program. During his senior year, he was awarded the Purple Heart Citizenship Award and after graduation enrolled at Valley Forge Military College (a two-year school in Wayne, Pennsylvania.) Afterward, he said he wanted to “take a break” and find out what he wanted to do with his life. That life consisted of working at Red Lobster, driving around an unreliable car, living with his cousins and never having any extra money.
It was definitely an “eye opening” experience for him, the reality of being on your own is sometimes the best way to figure out what career you are destined for. He knew he did not want to work in the food service industry and smell like old fish and butter when he got home every night. He took me out to dinner one evening and told me he decided to join the Marine Corps and had already signed up. I knew this has been his lifelong dream to serve as a Marine and that it was a noble profession. I told him I was very proud of his decision.
Last February he got the call to report for transport to Parris Island, the Marine’s location for boot camp. He chose to focus on Combat Engineering after scoring a 97 on the military entrance exam and being told, “Son, you can do whatever profession you want to.” Saying goodbye was very difficult but I knew in 13 weeks I would be celebrating his graduation from boot camp and the start of his career.
The first week of April I received a phone call from a drill instructor at Parris Island. I had been told previously, “no news is good news” and my heart sank. The first words out of my mouth were, “Is he ok?” The Sergeant told me he was fine and was being transferred to MRP (medical facility) for a probable stress fracture on his left hip. I was given about 20 seconds to talk with him. He sounded very depressed; it broke my heart. I got a scripted call from him the next day giving me his new address at the medical facility. There was no time for discussing his diagnosis or prognosis. This is the Marine way. It took several weeks and phone calls to his recruiter to find out what was going on.
I soon realized how lucky I am. Many parents go thru a lifetime of heartache with their children. In my son’s short 22 years he has done more than most young people his age.
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He not only has a stress fracture in his hip, he also has an abnormality and a bruise on his femur bone. He has been out of his unit for a while, however, the doctors and facility were hopeful he would recover and resume his training, although he will be assigned to a new unit when that happens. He has been in medical almost six weeks and has at least another four before he is recovered and can resume training.
I can think of nothing else but missing him and not being able to pick up a phone and call him, or get in my car and visit. I am left to letter writing and waiting by the mailbox every Thursday when I know there will be a letter. His life has been put on hold and subsequently I have put everything on hold here at home. I have spent several hours counting weeks, trying to figure out when he will graduate but the estimation is not accurate since they do not know exactly when he will be ready. It will be at least another five weeks until he is healed and one or two weeks to get in shape before he re-enters boot camp. Then he will need to spend at least seven more weeks completing his training.
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Mother’s day was the weekend before his original graduation date. To say this was a difficult week would be a huge understatement. I have never spent a Mother’s Day without him or a long phone call. This year there was neither option, except for the wonderful “card” he sent me with a coupon that stated, “I’ll buy you something when I see you.”
I soon realized how lucky I am. Many parents go thru a lifetime of heartache with their children. In my son’s 22 years he has done more than most young people his age. Someone once told me that you realize once your children are on their own and successful, that is a reflection of your parenting abilities. I don’t agree with that entirely; sure being a good parent helps a child into their adulthood. However, I believe that a child growing up really determines their own destiny by what they create for themselves when they are young, the parent only nurtures it.
At the end of the summer, I will be at his graduation when he transfers from a recruit to a marine. This will be a big accomplishment in starting his lifelong dream. Words cannot express how I feel now about all he has done or the emotions that will be experienced at graduation.
I will be the loudest and proudest Mom in the crowd. OORAH!
Photo: GettyImages
Thank you!!! I am looking forward to that moment. 🙂
I am a DI wife here on Parris Island. As a mother I wish I could find your son and make sure he is doing okay for you. It’s hard. But trust that the Drill Instructors and everyone around here is pouring their heart and bodies into these recruits’ well-beings. I will keep my eyes open for you the end of this summer. Keep your strength, he will make it off this island a proud Marine. Take care.
Andrea, Thank you! He graduated July 22nd. He endured almost 6 months on PI. He developed a friendship with another recruit that was with him in Bravo and eventually re-entered into Delta Co together. They were on the island the same amount of time and bonded as friends. I am so proud they both accomplished this despite all the issues on the way. I found out upon arrival to PI and seeing him on family day that the fracture was his spine not his hip. Did not want me to worry! I would have probably been in a car and… Read more »
Something that won’t soon be forgotten.
Be prepared for three things.
1. Your heart to pound as the band goes by the grandstand playing the Marine Corps hymn.
2. Your heart to leap from your chest when they call “eyes right” and you get your first look at your Marine.
3. When you realize that your little boy is gone, and in his boots stands a proud, confident, man, a Marine.
Welcome to the family. Semper Fi.
DJ – I did not know you were a Marine. I am hoping to be standing next to Jennifer when Alex looks “eyes right.” I visited him at Valley Forge when he was there. He is a fine young man who knows what he wants and makes his mom so very proud.