Relationships are bitter-sweet. Much like life, you get ups and downs. The struggle, the pain, and ultimately the love is what makes a good relationship. No matter, if you are close friends or lovers, you have a connection — a reason to be together. Seldomly life is easier apart.
I am a woman like a man. I work full-time, most weeks seven days, I am financially independent, love to meet new people, and hate the boundaries that come with monogamous relationships. The boundaries dwell on me. Most relationships look like prisons to me. You are looked up with a person you used to like, but no longer do because life came between you. I hate to say it, but most couples suck. Nevertheless, I understand the reasoning behind their relationship.
I know the how and the why because my grandma told me. She was married to the men she knew since she was a kid. They started poor and young, had kids, grew a business, and separated. Their relationship was long gone before their marriage ended. Why? Because they didn’t love each other. My grandma never blamed my grandpa for his many encounters with other women. She considered him broken instead. A broken boy who was raised by parents who didn’t know love and she couldn’t teach him to love.
I am at the age where my grandma was pregnant with her first child, and I feel nowhere near committing to a man, but I am much like them. Whenever a guy cheats on his girlfriend, I feel like I know why. Hurting her might be part of the deal, but surely it’s not all about causing drama. In my eyes, most men cheat because they lack something. Maybe they lack an emotional or sexual connection they don’t have in their relationship which doesn’t justify their behavior, but it gives us a reason why. And a reason why is a good beginning for a conversation.
“That’s what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you’re not so lovable.”
― Deb Caletti
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
― John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love
Hugs and kisses are a true form of appreciation. There is nothing more honest than a kiss out of love and nothing more relieving than a warm hug. So why don’t we do it more? In many countries, it is part of the custom to hug and kiss. People love to feel the warmth of one and another. Take Spain for example. I have seen many people who greet each other with a kiss, family members and close friends even kiss on the lips.
But there is a huge difference when it comes to men hugging or kissing women.
I am a strong woman, but I no longer take pride in my strength, because even the strongest women love to be hugged and kissed by even stronger men who don’t hold back on their emotions.
It’s a gift to be part of the magic moment when he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in close. I love the sensation it causes in my arms and the rush of blood that shoots right into my head. It makes me feel safe and loved. The world doesn’t become a little less frightened, but I feel brave. The connection we form during a hug is irresistible, and a kiss is even better. Don’t just kiss us on our forehead press your lips against ours, and taste our fear.
Hugging and kissing are good for your health:
The benefits of hugging
These are just some of the many health benefits that you will gain from hugging:
Hugging Reduces Stress Levels. Studies show that hugs and other physical connections reduce levels of stress hormones, such as cortisol, in the body. High levels of stress hormones can cause a whole host of health issues including sleep problems, skin problems, obesity, low immunity, and more.
Hugging Improves Heart Health. Frequent hugging and hand-holding can help to lower blood pressure, reducing the risk of heart disease, heart attack, or stroke.
Hugging Boosts Self Esteem. Touch is a powerful language that we can use to convey feelings of safety, love, and connection to a greater community. When we are feeling down or lost, a hug can help ground us and remind us that we belong.
Hugging Improves Relationships. Hugs can benefit all types of relationships for two main reasons. They are another form of communication that conveys messages and feelings that words can’t. It’s a deeper, more intimate level of connection that you simply don’t get from talking. The second reason is that physical touch causes the release of the “love hormone” oxytocin, which improves bonding and trust, and makes people feel closer to one another.
Hugging Reduces Pain. When we hug, our bodies release “feel good” hormones called endorphins, and our circulation is improved. These two things are natural pain-relievers that can benefit people who suffer from chronic pain conditions.
The benefits of kissing
I concluded my findings in We’re Failing the First Kiss. Nonverbal Communication Can Help You!:
Evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup claims that the well-being of a relationship is linked to the frequency of kissing.
Kissing helps you to relax because it releases the hormone oxytocin.
Kissing determines your relationship and shows you are a match.
Overall there are many reasons to kiss. It feels good but more importantly, it is good. It relieves stress and anxiety. A 2016 study concludes that kissing improves your self-esteem.
Hugging and kissing are and should be part of every close relationship. Touch doesn’t always have a sexual narrative most of the time, it’s an expression of connection, something we all crave these days.
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Previously Published on medium
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
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