One stupid mistake. She called his wife. His world’s falling apart. Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt has some straight advice…
Question: My whole world is falling apart from one stupid mistake – one bad judgment call. I have been married for 20 years and couldn’t image my life without my wife – until I met S.H. She was everything my wife wasn’t and gave me the attention I have been craving for years. It was all innocent until last week where I knowingly crossed a line. The problem is, I realized it too late and called the whole thing off only for her to call my WIFE and tell her what had been happening (she must have gotten the number off my phone). How can I fix this?
Answer: Wow, yes it is falling apart. And after getting the attention you craved for years, this has really backfired, yes?
Love, let’s be honest. One mistake? With all due respect, it sounds like you’ve made the same repeated mistake over and over and over until it slapped you in the face. S.H. wasn’t everything your wife wasn’t giving you ONE TIME… but many time leading up to ‘crossing a line’.
Did you not have the opportunity to go to couple’s counseling?
Did you not have the opportunity to set your wife free?
Did you not have the chance to talk about an open marriage?
Did you not have the chance to honor you, your wife and S.H. and talk about this ages ago?
You deserve attention and going without it certainly doesn’t work for anyone, yet your unwillingness to do what was hard so your life would be easy has now backfired… doing what was easy (not having talks with your wife) has now made your life hard. Yes?
Can you fix it? Not sure. I recommend taking total responsibility for where you avoided, denied, lied, hid etc and own it with no justification, no excuses AND let go of beating yourself up too. It’s done. Let’s focus on what’s possible and ask how you can make up for the damage done. I’m not sure either of them want to be with you.
The gift is that you see the cost of not sitting in the fire and handling things even though it’s hard, even though you don’t know the outcome, even though you may be rejected, even though you may be alone. By not sitting in the fire, you didn’t get to practice being a noble badass of courage and integrity, you may end up being alone with no one to work it out with but yourself.
Your desires matter.
Your needs matter.
Your fulfillment matters.
And you can have all this AND honor your marriage… consciously uncouple if it’s time to move on, and begin a new relationship with a clean slate.
I make mistakes. We all make mistakes. It’s part of growing. Let’s see if you can make up for the damage done to both of these women, let’s get clear with what you really choose, let’s do the work to stand in the fire and speak your truth, and let’s see where the chips fall. Sounds like you and your wife definitely require counseling to make the best decision and heal from what’s happened. You can apply for a complementary strategy session at www.AllanaPratt.com/connect. Do so sooner than later.
I’ve worked with couples who are on the brink of divorce and now their marriage is thriving. I’ve worked with couples where a threesome went south and helped navigate each person’s deepest truth to resolution. I’ve supported couples in conscious uncoupling. I have no judgment of what you should or shouldn’t do… what I provide is access to each person’s noble truth, and from there, grace reveals the way for the highest good for all. Sometimes sacred contracts are completing… and sometimes what’s happened renews the contract for another journey. We will know once we begin, heal hearts and hear truths.
Thank you for reaching out, knowing I would give you straight talk without judgment and a path to what’s possible… sending you a huge hug, now let’s roll up our sleeves and get to work. Blessings, Allana xoxo
First I want to say thank you to Dr. Todd. You really gave me clarity about the situation. For those of you needing real help, this is your guy. He is the truth. I had spent thousands of dollars trying to get my girl back with other casters. When I came to Todd, I didn’t want the reading. I just wanted him to do the work. His secretary (thank you T) told me that without the reading, Dr. Todd would not help me. In the reading, Todd told me the truth. I didn’t want to hear it and it was… Read more »
“How can I fix this?”
How about starting with your wife instead Ms. Pratt.