Recently, I heard a success story.
This person got a job in a big, hot and sexy international company, took a mortgage and bought himself a brand new flat.
This is a common understanding of the phrase “he made it” where I come from.
It made me think — what’s my take on success at this point in my life?
Don’t get me wrong.
I’ve got nothing against huge companies, banks, and mortgages.
They’re just vessels to get you higher on the corporate ladder or anywhere you want to go.
But there are two dimensions of success. One is external and the other one is internal.
Of course, I want a house on a small and uninhabited island, 10 million pounds in my bank account, and a private chef in my kitchen.
That’s so fucking big, hot and sexy to me. I can feel it. I can imagine it. I sure can make it happen.
But this dimension doesn’t complete the best possible version of me. It’s just the makeup part of the equation.
Here’s what does:
To have a relationship that lasts for more than three years and gets better every day.
And I’m talking here in terms of communication, connection, orgasmic sex, living together, and growing together as individuals.
To feel grateful every morning for the day and new opportunities it brings.
I’m still here after all these years and I can improve, learn, and micromanage my life. I see options. I’m patient. I don’t hang out with problems anymore.
I’m becoming more self-aware.
To cherish the little things like coffee, food on the table, or a swim ritual.
I can still make and appreciate time for these magic moments!
To call somebody on the phone just to hear their voice.
It’s so exciting to really care about someone I love. To know they are safe and alright.
To give all the energy I have in me and more.
I’m letting my toxic thoughts go by and act on getting shit done. That opens the craters of energy I didn’t even know I possess.
To be the kind of man who could do harm but chooses not to do harm.
I’m not trapped by my ego identities and getting acknowledgments from the outside at this point.
I consult with my inner compass for inspirations and opinions.
To love and give my attention to people who are sad and close-minded.
It’s the easy way out to avoid them and not to look in their eyes. I’m not ashamed of me feeling their sadness anymore.
To know how to spend some quality time alone with me.
I grab my time to reconnect with these principles through writing, exercise, and meditation. The first thing to care about every day is me.
To do something with consistency for a year or more.
Discipline equals freedom is a line from Jocko Willink. This means facing fear and resistance that is an integral part of me and always will be. Thank God!
To have sex with my girlfriend and look into her beautiful eyes and be aware of how lucky I am.
I’m walking my steps and sharing this experience with my girl. I love how she looks at me. I love how I make her happy.
From this core internal metrics accomplished, I crushed more of my external goals. Maybe I’ll need 2 years or 10 years for that 10 million pounds.
But the best thing is that I don’t feel attached to the external. It’s just the icing on the cake.
I choose to attach myself more and more to this internal challenge on a daily basis.
That’s why I feel the most freedom and success than ever at this point in my life.
This post was previously published on The Ascent and is republished here with permission from the author.
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