Making one small change saved a troubled relationship.
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When Jane and Matt got married, there were warning signs.
Jane was divorced, and sometimes let her emotions get the best of her. Matt had undiagnosed bipolar disease.
They loved each other. But as too many former couples know, love alone is often not enough.
And yet today, over thirty years later, Jane and Matt are still happily married.
Matt would tell you their relationship’s longevity depended on a great many things, but one conscious choice he made really stands out.
Back in the early 1990s, one of Matt’s friends invited him to Promise Keepers, a two-day Christian conference for men. It was during one speaker’s message that Matt realized successful marriages would require thoughtful work and investment.
We might call it intentionality.
Matt decided to do something intentional for Jane every day.
And he decided that something would be a hot cup of coffee.
Jane had been diagnosed with Muscular Sclerosis shortly after they were married. And her MS sometimes made the simple task of getting out of bed a real hardship. So every morning, Matt would wake up early and make the coffee, bringing Jane’s cup to her in bed.
Some mornings, Matt had to warm it up. The daily severity of her disease determined when Jane woke up.
But whatever time it was, her coffee sat there, waiting.
A morning symbol of a husband whose first thought included her.
As in most areas of life, we tend to think big, bold changes are the answer to our problems. But sometimes what is required is much smaller: A simple act that shows your spouse you are thinking of them, that you know they are alive, and that you enjoy making their life easier, or more beautiful, or more manageable.
It could be something as small as a cup of coffee.
Photo:Flickr/kris krug
This was beautiful Jessicah.
Interesting perspective.
I’m sitting here with my morning coffee. My wife is just getting up. She has a tough job with long days…but her coffee is sitting at your computer waiting…as it is every morning.
The little things, gentleman. It’s the little things that say, I love ya babe.