Online dating sites are an excellent way to meet your match. But, you’ll have to weed through some jerks. Like this one…
I have a love/hate relationship with Tinder. I love the ease of swiping right if I like a guy, or left if I want to pass. It takes much less time than traditional online dating, where you’re scrolling through hundreds of profiles and reading essays. With Tinder, you can search for love over lunch, while getting a haircut, or on line at the grocery store. Easy peasy.
As a dating coach, I try out most online dating sites and apps.
I test-drive them for my clients, so I know which ones to recommend. And as a woman dating after divorce, online dating is my primary way to meet eligible men.
I was on Tinder a few years ago, and didn’t like it. I found that most men wanted to either hook up or text incessantly. I’m looking for dates, not a chat buddy. So, I quickly grew tired of Tinder and uninstalled it.
Recently, I was having a drink in the City with my friend Melani, and she suggested I give Tinder another try.
It’s the only site she’s on, and she’s met lots of professional, quality men in Manhattan through the app. I figured, if Melani likes it, why not give it another try? I signed on, and this time I was enjoying the experience so much more. I connected with several quality guys. All was going very nicely…until ‘H’ messaged me. Here’s what happened.
The Classless Jerk I Met on Tinder
It started out innocently, with a few short messages. “Hi”, “How are you?”, “Where do you live?” I answered him. Then came, “Are you divorced, how many kids do you have, how old are they?” Before I had a chance to answer, he asked, “I’m 6’2″. How tall are you?”
“I’m 5’5″”, I answered. Here’s a screen shot of what happened next.
I was a little playful about wearing heels, asking if he wears them, too. But then, the conversation quickly took a sharp left turn down sexy lane.
I couldn’t believe he asked if I was still sensual and sexual after age 55! He’s just being honest? How about classless?
Now, I’ve spoken to many men about the need to know if a woman is good in bed before the relationship goes too far. I get that you don’t want to invest a ton of time and energy into a relationship if it turns out the sex is terrible. Hey, nobody wants bad sex.
BUT…whatever happened to courtship, and attraction building, and good sex as the outcome of a hot amazing relationship? Call me old-fashioned, but I think it’s a major turnoff to ask someone if they’re good in bed before you’ve even spoken on the phone.
Usually, if a guy is inappropriate or disrespectful in a text, I click ‘un-match’ and move on. But this guy had crossed a line, and I was in the mood to have a little fun. So, I sent this message:
I figured he’d just go away. Nope. Here was his response:
This is where I clicked the ‘un-match’ tab. I was done with this classless jerk. The sad thing is, he’s clueless about what he did wrong. And he will definitely continue to talk to women about sex via text before they meet, thinking it’s a good way to weed out the asexual old biddies.
Come on, classless jerky man. Don’t lead with your sex questions. If you just want to have sex, that’s fine, but be classy enough to at least treat a woman to dinner first. I think that’s the protocol in today’s world of online dating hookups. Pay for dinner = permission to jump her bones for dessert. Right?
In all seriousness, this guy was a jerk, and it felt good to call him out, even if he didn’t get it. And for all you online dating skeptics, please don’t be turned off about dating online. People find love online every day. Many of my clients are in amazing relationships with people they met online.
Online dating is not filled with classless jerks. There are many, many good people online, even on Tinder. If you want to meet them, you do need to sift and sort.
The way I see it? Classless jerks fall by the wayside. Good guys get first dates. I’ll even wear my heels!
Have you ever dated on Tinder? Please share your experience below.
Originally published on Last First Date