I don’t think that we talk about this more often than we should. There is no shame for those who decided to stay in a relationship where they were cheated on. I applaud them for their courage to try one more time to build a family.
Is hard to decide to stay, because it requires a lot of work, it requires a lot of courage. Meeting up with your demons is not an easy task and starting from zero after months or even years of relationship may suck. Here there are no shortcomings. This is a new life with a new foundation, where both partners commit to having a fulfilling relationship.
It takes 2 people to rebuild a powerful relationship, and when it comes to cheating, both sides are involved in creating a new way to rebuild their trust in each other.
Cheating happens at every level. Most of the time you will not find a clear answer to why this happened. Is all blur.
It may seem like they wanted to escape from you and to find some peace or maybe some danger. They only know the truth. If they are willing to tell you the reason, try to be opened and to accept it as much as you can.
You find out after intuition tells you that something is wrong and you need to search for the truth. You dig and dig and surprise! You find what you were looking for!
Or partner is cheating on you.
Now, there are 2 options in this situation.
- You leave the relationship
- You stay
No matter what decision you take, keep in mind that there are no bad or good decisions. Do what you want.
Now, let’s say that you decided to forgive and stay in this relationship.
The shocking truth may be devastating, may be horrible, but you still find the strength to give it one more shot to this relationship.
If you decided to stay in the relationship, you need to put your focus on the things that help you grow and heal the relationship.
Haunting thoughts will be a part of your journey. Questions that will keep you awake at night
‘’What happens after?’’
‘’How do I know that he/she will not cheat again?’’
‘’How can I trust this person after all that?’’ How, when I feel betrayed?’’
‘’How do I know that he will truly love me after cheating’’ How? How?
And the answer is that there is no guarantee on this matter. Nothing is secure in this world. No marriage certificate will protect you from being hurt.
Thinking all day that he will cheat again is not going to help you in any way this will destroy you mentally and psychically.
This kind of questions destroy your being.
You can check your phone, emails, and texts, to have a sense of control, but in the end this will hurt you more and more.
You chose to take this journey with him.
Commit to build trust again. Clean, without any doubts.
It takes time, but is not impossible.
Leave all the things that don’t serve you anymore and focus on healing. Looking back and forth, waiting for him to do a wrong move, is not going to help you in the end to heal.
Overcoming cheating in a relationship is not an easy task for those who decided to stay. It takes time and a lot of talking. Trust God. He will guide you.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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Photo credit: Courtney Kammers on unsplash.com
