One of the long and ongoing themes of the letters I get from my readers is “I thought this is what relationships were supposed to be like”, or “Why doesn’t this situation play out like I expect?” Other times it’s “Well, I already know that I can’t do this thing because it would never work, despite having no relationship experience to draw from.”
From Nice Guys to White Knights, toxic attitudes towards women and even more toxic relationships, we end up with a lot of misinformation about how love, sex and dating works. The “rules” we’re taught often conflict with best practices in general or in some cases are downright dangerous.
Now some of it comes simply from our environment; we pull a lot of our expectations and guidelines from our family and peers.
But quite frankly, a lot of the bullshit we learn about relationships comes from the pop-culture we consume. But how does pop culture shape not just what relationships are “supposed” to be like, but how we’re supposed to find them, what we should expect and what we are entitled to?
- How pop culture has affected the arc of history
- Why the kinds of relationships movies and TV promote are so disturbing
- The ways rom-coms teach us to ignore consent
- Why no just means “try harder” in movies
- Why the “good guys” in rom-coms are worse than the jerk boyfriends
…and so much more.
This article originally appeared on Doctor Nerd Love