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Influential leadership writer and former CEO Max De Pree in his book Leadership Jazz suggests that followers want to know not only what kind of leader will be leading them, but how will that leader lead. He proposes that followers have a right to ask eight challenging questions of their leaders.
- What may I expect of you?
- Can I achieve my own goals by following you?
- Will I reach my potential by working with you?
- Can I trust my future with you?
- Have you bothered to prepare yourself for leadership?
- Are you ready to be ruthlessly honest?
- Do you have the self-confidence and trust to let me do my job?
- What do you believe?
Parents as leaders of our families have you ever thought how you would respond if your children, as your followers, asked you similar questions? Can you imagine having to answer questions like:
- What do you believe in Mom/Dad?
- What did you do to prepare yourself to be a parent?
- What can I expect from you as my parent?
- How will you help me to reach my potential?
- Can I trust my future with you?
- Do you have confidence in me and trust me?
These are some pretty challenging and thought-provoking questions. I suspect even the most seasoned and invested parent would have a tough time to honestly and openly answer these questions. In fact, most of us would not want to take up this challenge.
But why not take up this challenge? What would be your concerns about sharing your answers with your children?
Yes, you may feel uncomfortable or you may fear that you may not be able to answer as thoroughly as you would wish. Or maybe, you think you don’t have the “correct answers” because these questions are hard.
These questions are difficult. There are not really any “correct answers” because your answers will depend on you and your views about parenting.
Being brutally honest by sharing your answers with your kids may surprise you. The benefits of taking up this challenge far outweigh any disadvantages.
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You will have to wait when your children are at an age where they can understand the questions. When you feel the timing is right, give the questions to your children and schedule some time with them to honestly share your answers.
Taking the time to answer would signal to your children that you are willing to be open. Your children will get to know you better. They will learn things about you that they probably had no idea about. Answering would demonstrate that you care and model vulnerability, which is so important in building positive relationships. Taking this time would undoubtedly enhance your relationship with your children and go a long way to strengthening your connection with them.
As our closest followers, our children deserve the right know how they will be parented just like our followers at work, school and communities want to know how their leaders will lead.
Being brutally honest by sharing your answers with your kids may surprise you. The benefits of taking up this challenge far outweigh any disadvantages.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
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