The Return of Charlie: My mega-Broncos-fan sibling sits down and schools this greenhorn on what is up with Superbowl 50.
I sat down with sibling Charlie (Broncos Fan Extraordinaire), who happens to be in town visiting again. And right before the Superbowl at that. Good timing prevails!
Charlie and I first talked football several months ago, a conversation you can find here. Viewer warning: Patriots fans will be offended.
As a complete ignoramus on the topic of sports, and especially football, I depend upon Charlie to offer insight. That will no doubt become clear in the questions.
Enjoy the highlights of our recent conversation about the Broncos, Superbowl 50, and the politics of football:
Me: Talk to me about the season. Highlights, lowlights, how did we get here?
Charlie: Well, I would describe this season as the unsinkable ship, in a way. Nobody predicted the Broncos would go this far. All the fans would watch or listen and say, “the Broncos aren’t good enough, they’re not gonna make it, Peyton’s an old man.” And every time, we came out on top.
Me: Okay. Good deal. Who are they playing in the Superbowl? The Colts, is that right?
Charlie: Nope. The Carolina Panthers.
Charlie: They have a very young, hip quarterback who likes to dance. Cam Newton.
Me: Cam Union?
Charlie: Cam Newton. And um, they have a good offense, they have a good defense. Hopefully Broncos bring their A-game and don’t choke like they did last time (Superbowl 48). But we have a better defense. I think our boys are hungry, they’ve got swagger, they’re angry, and they sacked Tom Brady 23 times in the last game. So, when I say sack attack, Broncos gave them a sack attack.
Me: So the feud with the Patriots continues.
Charlie: It will always be there. As a Denver Broncos, fan you’re always gonna not like the Patriots. And that’s all there is to say.
Me: Alright. Score predictions. How do you think this game is gonna go?
Charlie: Oh man. I think it’s gonna be a higher scoring game than people think, cuz both defenses are good. The Broncos need to get off to a fast start-
Me: But if the defenses are good, shouldn’t it be a lower scoring game?
Charlie: Yes, but let’s be honest, the NFL predictions have sucked this year. So I think it’s gonna be a higher scoring game. I think our offense needs to get off to a fast start. Demaryius Thomas needs to catch a ball. He gets paid 70 million a year. Catch a ball, DT. And, um. Play with some… play with some anger.
Me: Are there any correlations that strike you between the shared initials of Donald Trump and Demaryius Thomas?
Charlie: D.T. No, look I like DT. He just needs to catch a freakin’ ball. He’s kind of a softer wide receiver, in my opinion, sometimes.
Me: Where can the Broncos achieve victory?
Charlie: Their secondary is not very good, so throwing the ball. We need to run. Throwing the ball, if Peyton Manning can throw it very well, which will come down to DT and Emmanuel [Sanders]. And you know, their cockiness. If we can shut Cam Newton down and take away his running ability, and force him to throw, you know… things might not be lookin’ so good for Superman.
Me: They call him Superman?
Charlie: They call him Superman.
Charlie: ‘Cuz that is his nickname and he likes it.
Me: Kay. What should a non-football fan watch for? What would make the game exciting?
Charlie: The commercials. It is Superbowl 50. That’s a big one.
Me: Do you think there will be more Broncos fans there since California is closer to Colorado than Carolina is?
Me: Do you think that will help the Broncos?
Me: Do you think that Californians are more natural Broncos fans than they would be Panther fans?
Charlie: Yes. I do.
Me: Okay, so Broncos have a bit of a field advantage.
Charlie: Yeah. And I think everybody wants to see Peyton Manning go out on top.
Me: Ride off into the sunset.
Charlie: Ride off into the sunset.
Me: Cuz this is for sure his final season?
Charlie: Yeah. He can’t really play anymore. I mean nobody really… if he takes another hit, nobody know what will happen. So.
Me: Alright, so… This is the end of the line for Peyton. What was their record this year?
Charlie: They were 12 and 4.
Me: Oh wow. So it’s been a little bit rocky at times. Who did they lost to?
Charlie: They lost to Kansas City, who I despise with a passion. The Oakland Raiders, Indianapolis Colts and Pittsburgh Steelers.
Me: But not to the Patriots?
Charlie: No. We hurt Tom Brady pretty bad both games. So, uh.
Me: And not to the Seahawks.
Charlie: NO. We wouldn’t play the Seahawks anyway. Seahawks are gone. Sorry. Not sorry.
Me: Any other things you’re watching for? How are you gonna react if they’re losing at halftime? What’s your coping mechanism?
Charlie: … ….
Charlie: I’d have to get back to you on that one. Coping strategy. Uh. Going on a run. Throwing my fist in the air.
Me: Do you want to give us a final score prediction?
Charlie: I’m gonna go 20 to 14.
Me: Do you think the Panthers are gonna go a little easier on Peyton, to kind of give him that final-
Charlie: No. No. This is football. If you’re coming on the field, I’m gonna play as hard as I can. This is the Superbowl. This is for all the glory. And I don’t want to see them go easy on Cam. I’d like to see Cam get a sack attack as well.
I like him, but.
Me: Okay. So 20 to 16, final score. Broncos win it. Peyton goes out with a bang on top. Peyton gets a bit of a redemption from two years ago…
Charlie: Yeah. And I wouldn’t lie. I think Broncos fans are a little nervous about that…
Charlie: Yeah. That hangover of just “Embarrassing!” emotions. That if they lose badly again, I don’t know what will happen.
Me: Final words?
Charlie: Yay Broncos.
Photo: Flickr/Bradley Gordon