The biased remembrances of old men have questioned Kevin Durant’s manhood because they believe “he doesn’t play the game the right way.” Durant’s decision to play with Golden State is hardly the only time athletes are criticized for not playing the game the right way. Baseball player’s deal in beaning’s while hockey player’s settle matters with fisticuffs all to preserve some deluded tradition of playing a game the right way. Sadly this phrase gets tossed around without any reflection for what it means. Playing the game the right way is a nostalgic sentiment where sports and life are about hard work and sportsmanship. If we take the easy way out or cheat then it only reveals what kind of people we are outside the arena. It is one of life’s most valuable lessons and it’s one we are supposed to learn from our fathers.
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Instead my father was about the process of learning how to win. So every available hour the two of us would take swings in the batting cage or working on fielding ground balls.
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I was lucky to have a dad who wasn’t a maniac about winning. He never sacrificed his dignity so a bunch of kids could win a game or threw a tantrum if they didn’t. Instead my father was about the process of learning how to win. So every available hour the two of us would take swings in the batting cage or working on fielding ground balls. I was pushed to do my best even on days when I didn’t want to be. Yet that’s life. We don’t always wake up ready to face it but it’s always ready for us. So playing the game the right way is about working hard and handling situations with composure and grace.
As children we follow our dads, watch them cheer us on and look to them to hold us when we fall. Learning how to win and play with integrity is one of the most important lessons a father can teach his child. It’s on the fields of sports that sons come to understand their fathers as they reminisce about the stars of yesteryear, thinking about how they fare in today’s game. Yet nostalgia can turn bitter. Sometimes fathers allow their recollections to transform into a frustrated cloud of misguided melancholy as they surrender to the temptation of winning.
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Children play in the shadows of their fathers’ even if they one day become as famous as Kevin Durant.
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Suddenly learning to play becomes muddled with being triumphant. Instead of teaching growing men how to play the game the right way, fathers will sacrifice their dignity as they vainly live vicariously through the accomplishments of their sons. As if somehow their lives will have meaning if their child is able to win. So a child’s accomplishments are no longer his own but instead become mutated with the shortcomings of an insecure man. In this pursuit of winning tantrums are thrown and others are brought down. Children are no longer good enough as that reassuring figure in the stands becomes a hovering cloud of torment.
Children play in the shadows of their fathers’ even if they one day become as famous as Kevin Durant. But that shadow shouldn’t loom as a cloud shaking its head in disappointment if we fall. The glance to the stands is a search for affirmation. Regardless of what happens our fathers will be there to comfort us in their encouraging arms of security. Playing the game the right way is more than about winning, it’s about being accountable and comforting others when they don’t.
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