You might not think that concern over a young person getting a ‘full’ high school or college experience as climate denial, but that’s how I’m seeing it. Many parents I know are so worried about bringing normalcy back into their children’s lives, they are studiously avoiding the fact that there is no normal to go back to. They are doubling down on the prom, high school football games, playing in the band — as though that is the panacea for their children’s anxiety. They can’t bring up the subject of the climate and ecological crisis because it would be stressful. If we don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist.
Some Examples
One friend is extremely concerned that her son get into an ivy league school. She has a laser focus on helping him achieve that aim. Robotics, Drama, Choir, Scouting — this kid does it all. He just needs a little anti-anxiety medication to keep things in perspective.
Another mom friend flew across the country looking at universities her daughter wasn’t even that interested in. Her daughter chose an in state school and because she was missing her boyfriend, paid for a flight home. Short flights are the worst for the climate. When I point out the entitlement in such an action while people are suffering climate impacts all over the world she responds it’s important mother/daughter time.
A third friend insists her son participate in a soccer travel team and has to take him all across the state. If she can get him quickly enough to his soccer games, maybe they won’t notice the unhoused in the street or have time to think about what sort of future he’s heading toward.
They are clinging, with great effort, to a story that is ending.
It’s a much told story
If we continue on the path we’re on, telling the story we’ve been told, that capitalism will work for everyone… someday, that if you work hard, you will be successful, that the poor and homeless are at fault for their problems, that in the name of freedom, rights can be denied, that colonialism and patriarchy are just the way it is… how will these young people recognize that their good fortune, good job, ability to buy a home, ability to use their education to ‘succeed’ comes on the backs of others?
How will young people reconcile that while they may be doing okay, all around us our current reality is crumbling? With the obvious social and planetary breakdown occurring, we have two basic choices. Pay attention and do some good, or pretend its not our business and look the other way.
I was on a bus the other day and looked out the window to see this quote by Martin Luther King Jr on a window. The bus stopped long enough for me to take a photo.
Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly… I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.
Heatwaves, droughts, floods, ecosystem breakdown, and extinction of plants and animals are signs from the earth that the story is fraying. Homelessness, the rise of fascism, othering, and the nascent understanding that colonialism and patriarchy have led us to this point are societal signs that the story is fraying.
Individual success cannot belie societal problems. Young people are facing record levels of anxiety. I hear of fragile young people unable to cope, breaking down at a hint of criticism or having gastrointestinal and mental health issues. Clinging on to personal success won’t change that the fact that when there is no healthcare for all, when there is no safety net for all, life is incredibly stressful. Endless growth is killing us and while many may not consciously understand this, the effects are showing up as symptoms in our bodies and minds.
The person that made me reflect on this the most was a former student. She was in my class as a fifth grader. She was finishing up her senior year at a unique High School in my district called Big Picture, a High School that that focuses on learning through internships.
We met at a training for Stormfest, where I was learning about how to present a lesson to middle school students on determining stream water quality by observing macro-invertebrates. She was helping run the event as part of an internship.
I sat down with her at lunch to catch up. She told me that she had gotten a scholarship to a private university in Washington State. It wasn’t her first choice, but it was paid for. She planned on majoring in Environmental Science and returning to the Seattle area to get a ‘good paying job’ (with no debt) working for a local government on water quality.
She did speak of gratitude at having the opportunity.
She was proud, as a person of color, to be going to college.
She acknowledged that she was one of the few to be so fortunate.
I had deep questions I wanted to ask her — how would it feel to be working while the homelessness problem just got worse. How would it feel to know her friends were experiencing crushing debt? How would it feel to see climate and ecological devastation just get worse. I didn’t ask because it wasn’t an appropriate moment. I couldn’t outright dampen her happiness.
We discussed universal basic income and the folly of employer based healthcare. She said a dream of hers was to go to Sweden to experience life that is more equitable. I said we need to move in that direction in this country as soon as possible and that maybe she’d be part of that transition. With all the changes coming up for her in the near future — graduating from High School, heading off to college, I imagined she was somewhat preoccupied.
I hope this is the generation, like the hippies of the 1960s, that sees the need for change, the need to take a different path. They must be aware of the cognitive dissonance they are forced to live with, knowing that outsized success comes on the backs of others. Being forced to continue ‘normal’ life even though it is clearly askew. Living in the story written by patriarchs of colonialist mindset.
Joe Biden says he believes in capitalism, that the ultra wealthy just need to be paying their fair share. Well, why aren’t they? Capitalism was an experiment, an idea whose time is over. We need to stop pretending this story has a happy ending and write a new one. I’m hoping that we can see the obvious toll it is taking young people to keep living this lie and that young people can see it themselves — like seeing that the emperor has no clothes. This story is ending.
Let’s begin a new story.
I’m talking about young people here because they are the most affected but its really their parents, my contemporaries, that I speak to the most.
I saw a clip of a news program featuring some work of the Mycelium Youth Network in the Bay Area. I appreciated the words of Lil Milagro, the group’s executive director and founder.
For so many adults, climate change still such a scary topic and they don’t know how to address it or what to do with it and so as a result, we, as a society, are not having conversations with young people about what is happening and what we can do about it.
We’re telling them here’s the world that you’re going to grow into — go to school, get good grades, keep doing everything that you need to do to grow up and get a good job and the youth are saying, the world is falling apart, and I know that it’s falling apart and I’m deeply concerned that it’s falling apart and no one is talking to me about it.
I’m working to develop relationships with High School and Elementary school students and parents. I’m expressing the idea that planetary health and personal health are connected so through healing the planet we also heal ourselves. Just think how relaxing it is to sit in a greenspace or how healing it is to pull a garden grown carrot from the ground.
Maybe if we focus less on parts of the old story, like proms, homecoming and beating out others to get a spot at an elite college, we can focus on the need to rebuild society by protecting nature, playing with others and using our imaginations to create a more equitable world.
As usual, I am hopeful at the start of a new school year.
—
This post was previously published on Medium.com.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.