Queer Woman Shares Her Path to Parenthood “Being Queer Wasn’t Going To Stop Me From Being a Mother” [Video]

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Ever since she was a kid, Rachel Reyes knew she wanted to be a mom – and she certainly wasn’t going to let her being queer get in the way. When her then-wife was finally ready to start a family, they dove right in – from at-home methods to fertility treatments, all with the help of their close gay male friend who agreed to be the father. One morning, after a year of treatments and disappointments, an at-home test revealed she was pregnant. Not only that, but follow-up tests revealed she was carrying twins! Fast forward several years later, her children are now precocious toddlers being raised by three parents, seven godparents, and with a veritable queer village of folks looking after them.

Transcript provided by YouTube:

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[Music]
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foreign
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my name is Rachel Reyes I’m from
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Sicklerville New Jersey I’ve known since
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I was
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a kid maybe like 16 that I’ve wanted to
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be then I wanted to be a mother I always
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used to say that I wanted like seven
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kids 12 kids a bunch of kids and I tend
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to get what I want
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um and I knew that being queer being gay
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wasn’t going to stop me from being a
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mother I was young when I got married 23
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once I got married I wanted to start
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right away having kids starting a family
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but my wife at the time wasn’t ready so
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we waited a few years
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and then it was December of
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2017. I just remember coming home from
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work one day
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I went upstairs and I see like a gift
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bag on the bed and I look in the gift
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bag and I see all these baby things I
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see like
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pacifiers and baby bottles and I think
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pregnancy tests and bibs and things like
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that and that was her way of telling me
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she was ready to to have kids we talked
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to her best friend uh Luis and he was
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our roommate at the time so we sat down
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and we asked if he would help us we
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knew that we didn’t want to go the route
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of like an anonymous sperm donor or a
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sperm bank we knew that for our family
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it was better for would be better for us
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if our kids knew their biological father
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and had a relationship with him he was
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willing to help us and he was willing to
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have a relationship as the father of our
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children or our child
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and so we decided to start a family once
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we decided that we were going to start a
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family I went ahead and I bought us some
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T-shirts mine said Mama Bear my wife
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said Mama Bear and our friends said Papa
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Bear and I just put it away I didn’t
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tell them I bought it I was gonna give
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it to them as soon as I found out I was
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pregnant just as a surprise we tried
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various at home methods
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and they didn’t end up working every
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month I would take a pregnancy test and
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every month it would be negative and I
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would get my period and you know we
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tried at home different methods for like
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a year and finally decided to just go to
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a fertility clinic now when you go to a
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fertility clinic and you’re not
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um
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you’re using a known donor who’s not
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your your partner there’s a lot of red
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tape involved so we kind of had to
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navigate that we did a procedure called
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IUI
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they give you some medication to
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stimulate ovulation and then they do the
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procedure in hopes that you get pregnant
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we did it the first month and I took my
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monthly pregnancy tests and it was
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negative I got my period it was
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disappointing but we decided to try
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again and the second month
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I felt a little bit different but I
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didn’t really think anything of it I
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didn’t want to get my hopes up they give
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you an ultrasound before they do the
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procedure and the person doing my
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ultrasound did tell me that I was
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releasing two eggs she told me you know
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you could have twins chances of twins is
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ten percent and I said that would be
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great about 10 days after the procedure
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I wanted to know at this point we had
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been trying for over a year and it was
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just negative pregnancy test after
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negative pregnancy tests so I didn’t
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expect anything to be positive but I
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still wanted that definitive answer one
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morning about 10 days after our our
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second IUI I went downstairs
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and everybody in the house was sleeping
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I went downstairs by myself and decided
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to take a pregnancy test right away I
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saw a faint line and I was like I
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couldn’t even believe it I was in shock
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I could feel my my heart beating out of
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my chest I was anxious and overwhelmed
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and excited and I took another one just
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to be sure and that one was also
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positive a faint line the first thing I
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did was ran upstairs and waking my wife
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up and tell her that and show her the
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pregnancy test and she was
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completely in shock and super excited
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and we both got up and ran to luis’s
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room down the down the hallway and woke
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him up and shared the good news with him
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all three of us were just hugging and
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crying and excited and emotional and
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that’s when I I got the the shirts out
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that I had bought a year prior when we
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first started trying and I gave him our
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shirts and that’s when we knew we were
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going to be parents about 14 days after
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the procedure they have you come in and
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do blood work to confirm whether or not
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you’re pregnant our blood work came back
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positive and our numbers were were
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pretty high and then they come they have
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you come in again to repeat the blood
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work just to make sure that your
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hormones are doubling how they’re
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supposed to and mine were not doubling
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they were like quadrupling so I go in
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for the ultrasound and I just remember
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laying there in the ultrasound
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technician is you know confirming that
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I’m pregnant and she’s she asked me
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um how many eggs did they say you were
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ovulating and I said two and she was
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like yeah well I see two heartbeats I
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didn’t know what to say I had no words I
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don’t think I even responded to the
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ultrasound technician but I remember
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just calling my wife and telling her and
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she just kept saying no and then we told
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their father and he was also just
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overwhelmed and in shock and he was
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going around telling everybody at work
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that he’s going to be the father of twin
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ends in October of that same year I gave
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birth by C-section to these two
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beautiful little baby girls they were
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both four pounds 15 ounces and they were
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born on my birthday on the day of my
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birthday the three of us decided to give
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them some godparents just to create a
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village and a community of people who
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love them
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I picked three people
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in my life to be their godparents and
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each of them picked two people so they
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ended up with seven godparents so our
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girls have three queer parents they have
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at least three queer godparents seven
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godparents overall and they just have a
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big Village and community of people who
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are guiding them and and loving on them
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so you know as a teenager I was correct
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I loved being a mom I feel like it’s one
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of the best things that I’ve decided to
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do with my life my kids are amazing
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they’re almost three and they’re you
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know bilingual and they speak Spanish
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and they understand English and they are
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just sassy and and talkative and playful
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and a little bit bossy and just like how
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I was as a kid and I just love to see
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them grow every day and to see
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um how they how they interact with the
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world and how they interact with me and
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and
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I love them you can make your life how
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you want to make it your sexual
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orientation being queer or any other
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identity shouldn’t hinder you from
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creating a life that you want creating
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if that looks like a family for you or
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for that or if it doesn’t but I was
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particularly want queer people to know
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that there are options for us to build
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our families
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um and make them look how we want them
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to look
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thank you

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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