Make Sure You’re Doing It for the Right Reasons…
Thinking about getting down on one knee this Valentine’s Day? Are you absolutely sure you’re doing it for the right reasons?
Hunkering down and deciding to pop the big question takes a powerful man. A REAL man.
I remember planning the big day to the very detail. We had our tickets booked for an adventure to the Hawaiian Islands and I knew this was going to be THE textbook opportunity to ask my (then) girlfriend to be my wife.
How could she deny me in paradise, right?!
This big step in your relationship is almost never taken lightly. And if it is, you need to check yourself. You’re either not breathing or you’re a living Buddha!
If you have made these special plans, you’ve met your “match,” and can see the two of you building a future together. The possibilities are endless, as you feel so much more powerful, with your partner in crime by your side.
In my ten years of coaching Entrepreneurial Power Couples and Power Players, I’ve seen it all.
If you’re a go-getter with high standards, you definitely want this day to be perfect.
But, how do you know you’re ready to be “Mr. Right?”
Whether you’re with your high school sweetheart or you’ve scoured the earth to find your partner, let’s make sure that you’re 100% ready.
All major decisions either come from a place of contraction or expansion – this decision is no different. When coming from a place of contraction, think of a muscle that is made tight, tensing itself and becoming rigid. It’s like it becomes a little ball, protecting itself.
Conversely, when coming from a place of expansion, think of the universe and how it expands to infinity. It never loses its ability to ebb and flow, regardless of the situation at hand.
So, what place are you showing up from? How are you feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally as you approach the big day?
Let me paint two possible scenarios.
A few years back, I was working with a high caliber couple from Los Angeles through their emotional rollercoaster dynamic.
When everything seemed like it got to a point of calm and stability, I starting hearing talks of a proposal. I’ll call them Ben and Allie.
Ben’s focus was to not lose Allie. He nearly lost her many times before and when things got “better” he wanted to be sure he would never lose her again. So what did he do? He rushed down to the store to put a ring on it.
What place do you think he’s coming from? Contraction or expansion?
That’s right, contraction. He’s coming from a place of fear, a place of protecting from loss.
Now another couple, across the country, spent time growing and checking in with each other to be sure both were on the same page. When I started working with them, they weren’t ready to say “yes” to each other. But after working through their feelings of exhaustion and frustration, they both felt congruent with taking the next steps together.
Popping the question was still a surprise, and they felt even more connected than ever before.
What place did they come from?
Self reflect right now to see what place you’re coming from. If you’re not coming from a place of expansion, you’re in protection mode. If this is you, take a second look at what’s holding you back from expanding. This will set you free and allow for more connection, intimacy, and love.
Remember, you can’t force love.
Photo by Flickr/Brandon Atkinson