“Intimacy” is an essential part of any relationship. It keeps lovers connected and fosters a deep sense of understanding. However, sometimes relationships can feel like they are lacking that sense of intimacy. For example, you may feel like you’re going through the motions, and there’s no real emotional connection between you. I would say that is “a false sense of intimacy”, and it harms relationships in many ways.
If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, it’s essential to recognize the signs of fake intimacy and take steps to break free from it. You may need to adjust your awareness and take the courage to take risks in the relationship.
Real intimacy is built on honesty and authenticity, so don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Here are four moves that you can make to fill the missing part of your love and rekindle that connection.
1.Recognize your fear of intimacy
Intimacy is inextricably linked to our family of origin. When a child expresses his or her emotional needs and is denied by a parent, the child identifies with that denial, believing that his or her emotions are bad and that no one will accept them. This can lead to a fear of intimacy later in life, as individuals become afraid, or refuse to express their emotions and be vulnerable.
I believe recognizing the fear of intimacy is an essential first step in breaking free from fake intimacy. It’s crucial to be your own self-support, heal the denial you have received, accept your true emotions, and not be afraid of them before you can further express them. This may require some time for self-reflection, but it’s an essential step in creating a deeper connection with your partner.
2.Rewrite the way you respond to relationships
The way to avoid intimacy in relationships is often to be either “overly affectionate”, or “overly distant.” When you find you are being defensive, try asking yourself, “Why am I responding to him in this way? Does this remind me of any past experiences?” The more you understand your defensive mechanism, the more objectively you can see that you have other options. When you can be aware of those reasons behind, you can cut through the repetitive and rigid pattern.
Intimacy is a process, not a destination. It takes time and effort to build and maintain, but the reward is a deeper, more fulfilling relationship. By actively working towards real intimacy, you can break free from the superficiality of fake intimacy and create a lasting connection with your partner!
3.Ongoing communication with setting up talking time
To break through the rigidity and superficiality of a relationship, you need to communicate on an ongoing basis. It is simple but has significant effects on intimacy. For example, set up a half hour or a phone call every day to share your day, just focusing on your feelings and emotions. Don’t underestimate how much this can increase your sense of intimacy. Causal talking, complimenting each other and creating a sense of appreciation for each other help to strengthen the connection.
One thing to remind: it’s important not to be afraid to share vulnerable moments with your partner. When you share your vulnerabilities, it not only brings you closer but also allows your partner to understand you better. A sense of understanding creates deeper intimacy, and that’s what makes a relationship more meaningful.
4.Breaking established patterns with surprises
Breaking established patterns with surprises and new experiences can also help recreate intimacy in your relationship. It’s important to embrace the spontaneity of life and to try new things together. This can range from taking a weekend trip to a new city to trying a new hobby together, anyone you two are both interested in.
By trying new things, you’re creating new memories and experiences, which can break down the walls of fake intimacy. You’re also learning more about your partner from those new experiences, which can help you connect on a deeper level.
Everyone desires true love. Fake intimacy can occur in any type of relationship, not just romantic ones. It’s important to recognize the signs of fake intimacy and take steps to break free from it. Adjusting your awareness and taking the courage to take risks in the relationship.
Remember, it’s never too late to start building intimacy in your relationship. With the right mindset and approach, you can repair even the most damaged relationships and create a stronger, more loving connection with your partner.
It’s important to be patient and take things one step at a time. While it takes time and effort, with perseverance, you can create the meaningful, fulfilling relationship that you desire!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Joanna Nix-Walkup on Unsplash
