Okay, maybe it’s not flawless, his tone gets a bit screechy for me. But I don’t blame him. I got so frenetically screechy over this issue myself that my friend Zach Rosenberg actually made me into a meme (embarrassing but funny). He said, “So we’re going to file this under red?”
Anyway, some amazing quotes from Brand in this video:
1. Even if she had had some sort of procedure, “…It’s not like she’s under some intense pressure regarding her physical appearance…”
2. “She doesn’t look that different. Just Renee Zellweger. It’s not like her head’s been replaced by a marshmallow or a roller-skate… ‘She’s become a train set!’ No, it’s just Renee Zellwegger plus time.”
3. The TMZ guy says that Renee Zellweger is who she is because of her eyes. Brand responds with, “Not any kind of essential relationship with an unknowable entity. Not her personal experiences she’s been through. Not her talent or her charm or her individual experience as a woman. It’s her eyes.”
4. “She’s not eaten anything sour!”
5. “The important spiritual message that this woman is trying to convey is completely submerged in a glistening deluge of odd gloating and sacrificial sort of meanness.”
On top of that, please enjoy the “time has an impact on matter” slideshow including the before/afters of Brand himself. Oh, and the Arctic.