Aaron Gouveia doesn’t see anything wrong with a father letting his adult daughter make her own choices.
Are you conservative? Fine. Not fond of something like the Lingerie Football League? That’s cool, I can see where you’re coming from. But insulting a father for attending his daughter’s sporting event? Sorry, that’s where I draw the line.
Megan Rosker recently took former NFL quarterback Mark Rypien to task for watching his daughter, 20-year-old Angela, play in the Lingerie Football League. Megan thinks women playing sports in their underwear is a form of prostitution and thinks Mark Rypien should intervene to “protect his daughter’s honor and propriety.” Whatever that means. And then Megan offers up the most damning evidence to date, when she quotes her husband as saying “What’s wrong with that guy?” in reference to Rypien.
Well then, now that we’ve heard from Mr. Rosker, I guess it’s case closed.
I actually don’t care if the Roskers find the Lingerie Football League abhorrent. And they clearly do, since this was Megan’s second LFL article in a 24-hour span. Personally, I think it’s stupid too. I’m only interested in watching football played at the highest level, and I think playing in their skivvies is exactly what it looks like: a shameless ploy to get men to come to the game with the hope of multiple wardrobe malfunctions occurring on every play.
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But Megan didn’t focus on the league itself. Instead, she inexplicably focused on Mark Rypien. She focused on a father of one of the players there to support his daughter. And then she ripped him for it, solely because it appears her delicate sensibilities were offended by scantily clad, athletic women.
First of all, Megan is factually wrong about one thing. She writes “The strange thing is, Mark’s hands off parenting style seems to be getting a lot of approval in the media.” Hands off?? Call me crazy, but Rypien was at the game rooting on his daughter. Wouldn’t that be HANDS-ON?! If he left her to her own devices and didn’t care what she was doing, that would be hands-off. And as has been chronicled on this website several times over, there is a clarion call for fathers to be more hands on, not less. To take more of an interest in the lives of their children, not less. Megan should have celebrated the fact a father was supporting his daughter.
But Megan wasn’t done. Not by a longshot. She writes:
Since when is it ‘bad’ parenting for a dad to want to protect his daughter’s honor and propriety? Even when our children grow into young adults, it is always the father’s job to protect and care for his children. How can a father allow his daughter to prostitute herself for a sport in front of millions of fans that calls itself ‘True Fantasy Football?’ Yeah, I think we can all guess what the fantasy is here.
For starters, I fail to see how this is prostitution. The players are there voluntarily and eager to play, they’re being compensated and there are no sexual encounters taking place in exchange for money. Megan’s hyperbole is not an adequate substitute for facts.
Second, I believe it is the job of both parents (not just the father) to protect their children. But I fail to see how Angela Rypien’s “honor and propriety” are at stake. She’s not in the middle of a gang-bang, she’s playing football in her bra and panties. And as a 20-year-old adult, I fail to see how Mark Rypien has any damn say in the matter at all. Sure he can give his opinion, but in the end it’s her call. He can either boycott the games and risk alienating his daughter, or he can suck it up, get past his own discomfort, and support his daughter even at his own expense. And as far as I can tell, that’s what Mark Rypien is doing. He’s being a good father, for which he should be commended. Not scorned by the likes of Megan.
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My question to you Megan, is what would you like Rypien to do?
Should he have marched down onto the field, carried her off a la “Officer and a Gentleman” and humiliated her? Should he make all of her decisions for her? Is it his job to make sure no guys find her attractive or have sex with her? Seeing as she has a 2-year-old I think that ship has sailed. But even if that wasn’t the case, overbearing fathers eagle-eying their daughter’s virginity is more than a tad bit creepy. And completely unrealistic.
It’s incredibly troubling for you to imply a grown woman shouldn’t play a sport she likes or dress the way she wants simply because her dad tells her not to. And it certainly goes against the recent tide of ultra-feminism that populates the Good Men Project as of late, so I’m surprised more women here haven’t taken notice.
Children do not always follow the path we imagined for them. Would I want my daughter playing in her underwear? No, I would not. And I would tell her that. But if she really wanted to do it and she was 20 years old, I can’t stop her. She’s not doing anything illegal, immoral or dangerous (unless you count burns from the astroturf), so all I’d be able to do is grit my teeth and cheer her on. Because that’s what good dads do. They love and support unconditionally and let their children make decisions for themselves.
And that’s what Mark Rypien is doing. For that, he deserves applause. Instead, Megan engaged in unnecessary roughness and committed a personal foul. In the future, I hope this website gets back to celebrating good dads—and good men—instead of cutting them down unnecessarily.
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image: crookedstraight
Oh my God, the photograph for this article shows her hair and her face and bright red lipstick on her lips! Men all over the world can see her face. Why isn’t she totally covered in a burqa? Her father must not care about her very much….
This is absolutely spot on! Women’s choices should be respected – including if they’re 20 and want to do sports in their underwear!
Dad Rypien is in a difficult position. Not quite a no-win situation, but tricky. But, just because going to the game would be awkward for him doesn’t mean that the sport is wrong or that she’s making a bad choice. Just because it would be awkward for him doesn’t mean he’s a bad father or unsupportive of his daughter. Just because my dad wouldn’t want to watch me do something doesn’t mean what I’m doing is wrong. I hope I would be supportive of my grown daughter’s decision to play, as long as she’s making a thoughtful choice of her… Read more »
Okay, Angela is an adult. She can do whatever she wants. We are not in an Islamic society where men’s honor is determined by the sexuality (or lack thereof) of the females in their family. Lingerie Football is not porn of any sort. I’m not sure I would even consider it sex work or part of the sex industry. If my daughter were an adult and playing Lingerie Football I would attend her games. I dislike football but I would be there to support her. Lastly, I have to address the following quote from this article: “But I fail to… Read more »
Sarah M: I’ve been called many things in the past, and most of them roll off my back. But this one I’m not letting go. First of all, you don’t need to tell me about standard journalism. Until four months ago, I was a journalist. And a good one. Second, this is not journalism. Not remotely. Not even close. In fact, writing for this site was my escape from journalism. The general public’s failure to recognize the distinctions between the two is a topic for another column, but let me get to your points. I referenced Megan by her first… Read more »
The biggest problem I have with any of this actually lies in this article and the author’s choice not to reference Megan Rosker either solely by her last name as is the standard in journalism, or at least by her full name, as the privilege he gives to Mark and Angela Rypien, the parties he is supporting. I don’t agree with Rosker’s views or opinions and am not supporting her on a personal level, but the choice to refer to her solely by her first name when the author is not personally acquainted with her not only displays a lack… Read more »
This reminds me of “powder puff football” we had in high school. It was an excuse for guys to ogle pretty girls pretending to try to play football. There is nothing necessarily wrong about ogling pretty girls but it was kind of insulting to girls who wanted to be serious athletes. The powder puff girls wore cute pink outfits and the whole thing was considered a titillating joke. Wearing lingerie makes it even more of a joke.
Jill: If memory serves, powder puff football not only consisted of the cheerleaders dressing up and playing as football players, but also the football players dressing up as cheerleaders. The whole thing is a joke, that’s kind of the point.
I wouldn’t call it prostitution and I wouldn’t tell Rypien to go protect his daughter’s honor. That’s not feminism, but not everyone is a feminist. On the other hand, I wouldn’t go to the game. I think sometimes you have to make a statement about what your think of your children’s actions. Unconditional love for you, yes. This is bad for you and a bad thing to do, also yes. And I certainly agree with the idea that playing football in your underwear is a bad idea. You’re trading instant, temporary success based on your body shape for real respect… Read more »
Why are these people not demanding a stop to the professional wrestling, where the men wear even less clothes than these women? People are free to ogle them all they want? Why the double standard? Are women weak, helpless little things that need a big man to save them?
Because the objective similarity—public wearing of little clothing during an athletic contest—does not mean, in context, that these two acts are the same…or even similar. The women in the LFL are clearly there for the sexual gratification of men, not so that other women can admire their statuesque beauty and athleticism. That’s why they’re in lingerie rather than practical athletic gear. Professional wrestlers are showing off their muscles as a demonstration of dominance. MMA fighters wear similarly little clothing, and it’s not for the sex appeal; it’s practical. The acts are just not the same, Eric, and I’m sure you… Read more »
Do you not think that WWE fighters believe that they are sexy to women? If women get sexual gratification from seeing their bodies, do you think that they should be forced to wear more clothing? My European friends (not that they are always right) think that Americans are so wacked in our addition to and glorification of gratuitous violence (e.g. defending pro wresting) but being so prudish and judgmental about a woman wearing a bikini and men enjoying seeing them. Further, are you not aware that women wear bikinis on the beach for some of the very same reasons? They… Read more »
I’d compare it more to female professional wrestlers.
I second Hugo! Aaron, we disagree on so many things, but I’m totally 100% with you. I’m NOT in favor of parents sexualizing their young children (i.e. that sexy single ladies dance done by 9-year-olds in belly tops), but a 20-year-old can, will, and SHOULD be making their own calls. I don’t know how my dad feels about me writing about sex and sexuality on the internet, but I know he respects me as an decision-making adult and supports me every step of the way!
“But even if that wasn’t the case, overbearing fathers eagle-eying their daughter’s virginity is more than a tad bit creepy.” Well said. Or considering Jessica Simpson’s dad joyfully talking about how she gave “that boy” “a gift” when she waited till her wedding night. Gross. I’m pretty conservative sexually and I’m not at all uncomfortable talking about sex in generalities with my folks, but having my parents directly commenting on my own sex life is pretty disgusting to me. I would also be uncomfortable with my daughter (had I one) playing as well, but if she wanted me to come… Read more »
To that I would add: what does playing football almost naked have to do with being a virgin or not? So presumptuous for anyone to assume that she engages in premarital sex just because her uniform shows a lot of skin! Shame on anyone for judging a woman’s “honor” based on her clothing.
Perhaps consider that just because you don’t find it soft porn doesn’t mean I don’t. Are you the master guardian of definitions? I’m not particularly hung up on what word you want to use for it. You could call it popcorn for all I care. If they just wanted to play ball for the joy of sport and not the sexual fantasy pleasure of men, they’d be wearing shorts and tanks.
Pornography, like all other words has a definition. Playing sports in a bikini does not fit the dictionary definition; otherwise, beach volleyball and pro wrestling are porn as well.
Wow people. This is not porn. I repeat, not porn. Let’s just take a deep breath & come back to reality.
This has got to stop, Aaron. This agreeing thing we’re doing. You’re absolutely right, and I can’t handle that.
We’ll get back to our regularly scheduled disagreements after this commercial break Hugo.
whew.
Yep. LFL is really stupid. Mark’s football pals aren’t going to be admiring genetic football strategy as much as they will his little girl’s “stance.” From every angle. Angela is making an odd choice in my opinion. She represents her child and her family – including her famous daddy. Who knows why narcissistic athletes and wannabe “athletes” like her insist on showing us everything. But this has nothing to do with Mark. I feel sorry for her family. I guess I made some dumb choices at her age too. My choices just didn’t involve soft porn on a national stage.