Confused about whether you should be a nice guy or a macho man? The answer is YES.
As a 10 year old I first saw the Yin-Yang symbol in Spencer’s Gift Shop and thought it looked pretty cool. I was told something about “the balance of life,” but the only balance I cared about was on my skate board, so I couldn’t have cared less what the cool looking symbol actually meant. Now, my relationships revolve around the interactions of the masculine and feminine energies that are represented in that Yin (feminine) Yang (masculine) symbol.
Guys, do you generally prefer a woman who takes charge in the bedroom or do you like the chase? Ladies, if your guy acts super sensitive and caring, do you suddenly want to pounce on him? Dudes, when your woman shivers, do you spring into action to warm her up? Ladies, when your date has planned out the whole evening, made a reservation at that new hip restaurant you mentioned 3 weeks ago, drives the best route there, and orders your favorite drink for you, do you swoon? There are no wrong or right answers to these questions, there is only you discovering if you prefer masculine or feminine energy in your partner. Why should these energies matter to you? Because understanding them not only allows you to improve your relationship with your body, emotions, loved ones, and actions; understanding how masculine and feminine energies play out is what keeps those passionate fires caliente!
I’ve seen lots of conflict between my friends and clients and their romantic partners that appear for many reasons; but when it comes to passion, if your partner isn’t the right energy match for you, no amount of therapy or healing is going to produce the relationship you want. When your partner naturally has the masculine and feminine energy balance that compliments yours, then you add in compatible interests, values, lifestyles, & personalities – you at least have a chance at having a harmonious and healthy romantic relationship.
There seems to be a great big ball of confusion out there about what women want – a nice guy or a macho man? The answer is YES. Whether a woman is naturally more feminine or masculine, she wants a healthy balanced man who can exhibit both masculine and feminine energy traits – just as she can. We all have both energies inside of us, that is why the black Yin has a dot of white and the white Yang has a dot of black. Most folks aren’t originally made exactly 50-50. Each person has a propensity towards using either more masculine or more feminine energy traits. Check out this chart to get an idea of what I’m talking about.
You can see how these traits loop back around into each other: insufficient Yin melds into excess Yang and insufficient Yang melds into excess Yin. Notice how the healthy Masculine and Feminine traits beautifully balance each other. When you feel depressed, you know you need to take action, but you’re so swamped in Yin energy that action feels impossible. Depression is stuck energy and stuck energy needs action so it can move. On that same line, when you are overly active and too busy, what can bring you back to healthy balance is some quiet time and introspection. If your natural state leans more towards the masculine, a partner who exhibits more feminine energy will make your heart go pitter-pat; whether you are a man or a woman, straight or gay. A man with more feminine energy can have a happy relationship with a very feminine partner; but one of them has to bring out the masculine energy in the bedroom or that relationship will quickly devolve into a sexless friendship. It might be nice and cozy, but it won’t be hot and spicy! Two people with primarily masculine traits can be together, but one of them is going to have to default to feminine energy between the sheets – or those two will find themselves making war more often than love. If it is healthy happy passion you want, there has got to be polarity.
It isn’t opposites that attract, it’s polarity that attracts.