There have been lots of big shifts in my life over the last 3 years which have helped me cope with the changes that we’ve all found ourselves adapting to since early 2020. I know that I wouldn’t have coped so well with the global pandemic if I hadn’t of been through some of life changing adaptations, despite how uncomfortable & painful they may have been.
Back in early 2017 I was running an award winning gifting company. Competently juggling being a successful business women with the multiple responsibilities of employing staff, premises management, production & importation of bespoke products with being a single mother to 3 young children and a flourishing relationship with my now fiance. How I worked then day-to-day, how I got paid, how I managed my time and not insignificantly where I worked all changed quite quickly.
Due to a period of down-trade, a saturated marketplace and, if I’m really honest, falling out of love with the company I had built from scratch. I took stock of everything in the company, stripped it back to the bare bones of numbers and saw it was no longer working financially. And then I made what felt like the hardest decision, to make the staff redundant and start to dissolve the company.
I felt shit about it all, like I had failed, like I had let everyone down. I held these feelings for some time.
It didn’t help that whist feeling quite so shitty I was navigating negotiating out of a premises lease with a trying (read/insert swear word) landlord. Holding off the bank for a large overdraft repayment as well as the tax man, the VAT man etc etc etc. It felt like I was drowning in responsibilities of my own making (I was).
And then I had a nervous breakdown.
And then, just to top it off, I had a cancer diagnosis.
Rolling forward 18 months from making the then ‘hardest decision’, the company was fully dissolved. I had been through 6 rounds of chemotherapy and found myself in remission. All of a sudden I had no purpose. As shitty as my cancer diagnosis had been, and trust me on this one, it was majorly shitty, scary, frightening, shocking and completely unexpected. It had given me a focus and in some ways a sense of purpose. Moving from a difficult ending of a company to dealing with an immediate health concern gave me something to focus on.
And so I found myself at home with lots of time, on my own. I decided that the time had come to find the ‘thing’ that I really wanted to do. Turns out the ‘thing’ is art. I am an Artist. I have a studio in our garden and I bloody love what I do. Like a lot. I feel like I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do, fulfilling a yearn from deep inside me. Writing that here and saying it out loud feels ruddy marvelous, of course it’s taken me a while to get going and feel comfortable adapting, but I found my purpose.
Running a company, is a very different environment to working from home, on your own, in a studio every day. There are things I really love about it, like being able to listen to Radio 4 all day, having the windows open as much as I like, walking the dog. We now have a dog because I have time for a dog!
There are other things that have been an unexpected challenge. And it’s not just about my desk and chair and temperature.
I’ve discovered that, for most of my adult life, I’ve ignored some of the basic needs of my body & mind while I’ve been working. And I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this.
It sounds stupid, but when you’re working in fast-paced environment, sometimes it’s easy to “forget” to go to the loo or have lunch, because you’re about to head into another meeting or you’re in the middle of a conversation with someone important who never replies to your emails, so you just have to talk to them now.
And you eat the cake/chocolate/sweets because they are there. And you forget to go outside or have a break because you need to do five more minutes of work which turns into all afternoon.
Now that I’m out of the ‘business environment’, and broadly in charge of my own time, I’ve been trying to notice what my body needs, and when it needs it. Like eating when I’m hungry, resting when I’m tired, drinking when I’m thirsty not exactly complex stuff, but these kind of things slip to the wayside in a busy life. Of course a nervous breakdown and a cancer diagnosis force these self care behaviors but, if I’m really honest I just wasn’t looking after myself well enough before.
And doesn’t that seem odd? But I know, I just know, that I’m not alone in dismissing the need for the longed for dog or a loo trip, or a glass of water, or (god forbid) a lunch break. We can all get caught up in being busy or thinking that we matter less than keeping other people happy in a workplace.
But that’s just not true.
So here’s the thing:
We’re not robots. We need food, air, light, comfortable clothes and surroundings, and regular loo trips (dogs not necessary but I do highly recommend).
Your boss, clients, suppliers, colleagues, staff, friends, and family need you to be looking after yourself. If you’re not giving yourself even your most basic needs, how can you give them the creativity, quality, responsiveness, love that they deserve that you want to give?
The pandemic is offering us the opportunity to change, to slow down and to rethink the lives and environments we have built for ourselves.
Today, this weekend, next week, listen to what you really need. Refuse to allow yourself to get too thirsty or too hungry. You might need to plan in some time to take proper care for yourself, maybe even setting an alarm on your phone as a reminder. Or you might simply need to do one thing right now.
It doesn’t have to be huge. Take two minutes to listen to what you need. Then go and get it.
Don’t let it be.
J x
p.s I made the art in the photo, look at it and listen to what you need
www.jmmyles.com
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com