A Gen Y writer laments the death of chivalry.
Chivalry is a scary word so I’m going to try to mention it sparsely; it’s dead. Now when you hear that word, you are almost repulsed, it’s like one of those stories your grandfather used to tell you about his glory days; you listen but you cannot possibly understand it the way he does. Chivalry, to our generation, is a myth, supposedly some type of code of conduct expected when courting a woman.
But you know why we don’t believe in it? Because we haven’t seen it. Yes, there are a handful of respectful gentlemen and self-respecting women still breathing, but on a daily basis, can we expect it? No. Chivalry is dead and the media killed it.
On average, we see about 250 ads per day; images that we think nothing about, delivering messages that are too plentiful for our eyes to notice let alone our brains to even absorb. But there’s strength in repetition and what we see repeatedly is that sex sells. I’m not here to argue the immorality of marketing campaigns, I’m about to explain how the result of such has left all of us romantically numb.
Day in and day out, we are constantly reminded of the media-instilled ideology that sex is what works, from Axe body commercials to the younger Skittles advertisements. We see its success; which guy hasn’t gotten the girl at the end of the film or which woman hasn’t attracted the flock of drooling men? I truly believe we all have now fallen victim to translating what sells in ads to what we see in everyday life.
Since we see real men and women in the same light, essentially we are all walking billboards. That girl I see in the club is no different than the half-naked woman I see on television. Ultimately, whether we realize it or not, we have been demoralized, which changes the perception of the people around us. Unknowingly, we are becoming the unlikely situations that sell these products.
Ultimately, the gender roles that media outlets continue to radiate become self-reflecting. I, myself, carry some stereotypical traits of any 21-year-old male. My outlook on love and relationships seems to teeter on the line between realistic and hopelessly romantic, but when it comes to matters of the heart, consistency is key.
Although, I do have hope for this generation, females specifically. Then that same optimism is stepped on as I scroll down my Instagram, looking over my shoulder in the classroom because the app has turned into a soft porn site. But the stream of everyday Instagram models are often interrupted by the same interjecting post from males believing that snapbacks and tattoos have taken the place of good jobs and nice suits.
Although, to play devil’s advocate, if we see ourselves that way, we can’t blame others for looking through that same lens — and that goes for both sexes. All I ask is that we reassign our values and watch how we portray ourselves because there is a chance we can regain some type of romantic moral code. Or am I just asking for too much?
Originally appeared at Elite Daily
Photo Elite Daily
About the author: “Dennis Williams II is an up and coming writer/producer and a Nantucket Film Festival finalist selection, who studies English and American Studies at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC). From the city of Baltimore, MD, Dennis began studying theatre and the art of filmmaking in the Johns Hopkins Film Society. He was chosen to assist the faculty of the University in an Independent Research Study about the televised programming of the Walt Disney Company. Before graduating, Dennis worked at Blip TV in New York City while still in school. At Blip he began to understand the backside of film and television production. Here Dennis worked with campaigns involving the award winning series Hipsterhood and Wainy Days. Blip TV was acquired by Maker Studios and Dennis returned to Maryland to finish his studies but he also returns with his experiences and connections. He then accepts a contribution role to Will Ferrell’s Funny or Die while also working on numerous film projects. He continues to try and portray a deeper message in all of his work and he wants his audience to use his visual art as a vacation from their everyday life. ItsDennisWilliams.com”
You know what? Let’s not have the word “chivalry” and just have decency. Be nice to me and others because you want to be nice, not to make the point that you have a dick and I have a twat. I’m going to be nice to men because they deserve kindness too. It’s a nice surprise to men when I hold the door for them or give them my seat when they’re carrying heavy things. Nothing is a bigger turnoff that niceness that has an old-fashioned gendered agenda underneath. I’ll be worried that you’ll try to take advantage of me… Read more »
Great job Dennis! I am 52. I am not as tuned into it all to be influenced. So, the flip side of this is you and others in your generation do have the choice to tune it all out. I read, exercise, and watch very little TV. I eschew social media in general. I went to see the movie, “The Butler.” Before going to see this movie late last year, I had not been in a movie theater in almost 25 years!!!! What shocked me is the long ass promos AND the sexual messages all over the place. Therefore, you… Read more »
We were lied to, but so were our parents and grandparents. The same lie got passed down generation after generation until it became the truth. The media just reinforced those lies.
Good. And may it rot in a shallow grave.
Chivalry has always meant to me grace and making yourself vulnerable, and treating others in a way to show you care but also respect them. Offering your seat to someone? Great. Do they decline? They have every right to, and you shouldn’t pester them or make them feel like they have to accept. What we see in mainstream media isn’t chivalry, it’s “romantic” conquest. I don’t think it’s destroyed chivalry, it hasn’t portrayed it. If the purpose of chivalry is to show someone that you empathize with them, you have to respect them and their choices. It’s to offer what… Read more »
What you are calling chivalry is not really chivalry. You are speaking of a narrative that comes with fairy tales and harlequin novels. Chivalry is something that goes way beyond the relationships between romantic partners. Its speaks to a persons moral code and relationship with the entire road and everything in it. Take it out of the narrow fairy tale perspective and it is easy to see that it is far from dead. It is evident in in the courage and valor shown by our public servants, the police, fire fighters, soldiers, doctors.. etc. It is shown in the efforts… Read more »
Nicely done, Dennis. Don’t stop writing! I enjoyed your style. ” All I ask is that we reassign our values and watch how we portray ourselves because there is a chance we can regain some type of romantic moral code. Or am I just asking for too much?” I’ve got 31 years on you and can tell you something about your future. No. You are not asking too much. Media is not to blame – individual choices are. And there is an enormous difference between “watch how you portray yourself” and consciously and intentionally CHANGING the way you think, speak,… Read more »