We can not allow people to be sexist but there has to be a solution that allows male allies to participate. The antidote is not kicking them out.
- We need strong male leadership in these discussions.
- We need to listen to women explaining their lived experiences vis a vis sexism.
- We need vocabulary and ground rules.
We never want anyone to feel like they can’t participate or speak up. We want people to learn. However, sexist comments need to be checked. The problem is the manlash that transpires after being challenged about a sexist comment. Voices raise, people talk over each other, mansplaining manifests everywhere.
Ways to deal with the communication:
- Simply explaining and working with the concept of mansplaining.
- Discussing the history of patriarchy, sexism, and feminism.
- Discussing the concept of purity and rape culture.
- Discussing ambivalent sexism (hostile and benevolent).
Allies have to learn how to be uncomfortable. The discomfort of being told how to be a better ally pales in comparison to actually being oppressed.
Men—who are well-intended but blind to their privilege and still subject to the very patriarchal upbringing we are trying to dismantle—don’t see how sexism and misogyny are connected to the disposability of men…nor to their mental health.
Most men who talk about sexism are already feeling uncomfortable just by having the discussion, no matter how advanced they feel their understanding is. That could be why we see the intense reactions and emotive backlash— because these men are already feeling vulnerable.
There is a balance that can be found here, where we are pushing their comfort zones while speaking truth to power…
It does not have to be either/or.
There has been ground gained in women’s rights, but we are far from stopping sexism. Trying to deny or “water down” the fact that sexism exists will not move us forward.
We can allow for ingenious discussions but we do not have to tolerate deflection. Deflection steers the discussion away from the real point, ignoring a problem instead of working to solve it.
We are here to try to solve sexism by stopping it.
- Tell us how you are working on eliminating sexism in your corner of the world. What is working that you can share with our readers?
- How do you see sexism related to the disposability of men?
- How does feminism fit into this conversation about sexism and the disposability of men?
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How do you see sexism related to the disposability of men?
Sexism isn’t related to the disposability of men. Disposability of men IS a type of sexism.
Saying its related is like saying murder is related to crime.
Sounds like its about making out men’s issues are really about women. I’ve seen this happening over and over again. People are not stupid, non feminist people don’t fall for that.
If a group is treated as disposible life, the real victims are not the ones that benefit from it.