One of the most famous travel couples decided to end their long-term relationship recently. If you ever bump into Jack Morris (@doyoutravel) and Lauren Bullen(@gypsea_lust) on Instagram, then you know how many people are inspired by their cinematic shots around the world.
They built a house in Bali together, got a dog, and pretty much everything’s perfect — at least what we see from the surface. But Lauren explained on her Youtube video the reason why they broke up.
It started out with Jack, who seemed more excited to make trips with his buddies than with her to something more significant such as not wanting to see each other’s family. She also said that after months of feeling unfulfilled in the relationship, she couldn’t imagine spending the rest of her life with Jack anymore — as if the bigger picture is gone.
We heard all the time that a relationship is indeed hard work. But also, there’s a difference between trying to make it work and forcing it regardless of how incompatible both people are.
Back in 2019, I knew my relationship was dying. It’s beyond repair, and nothing I could do will make it the same as it used to. I wasn’t happy, and other people saw it too. So after months of contemplating whether I should end it or not, I finally did. And to this day, it’s still one of the best life decisions I’ve ever made.
This mostly happened with people in the long-term relationship, especially those who started it out too young and wasn’t sure what they want in the first place. Some decided to figure it out along the way, and the rest just settle down with what it then regrets later in life.
There are some subtle signs for you to call it quits if only you want to listen. It’s there and trust me that your intuition will not disappoint you.
You Don’t Want To Have Hard Conversations With Your Partner
Having a hard conversation when a problem arises is necessary to keep the relationship going. It’s a healthy way to get to know each other more and be more connected.
However, if you notice your partner or even yourself start avoiding the uncomfortable discussion all the time, then it’s a sign that you aren’t keen to continue the relationship. You just want to put it under the rug and pretend everything’s alright — though you knew it’s not.
When this happens, it’s usually because people have checked out from the relationship earlier, so there’s no point in putting in the effort anymore.
You No Longer Want To Compromise
At some point, I got so tired of compromising in the relationship that I decided to stop it altogether. I used to be so huge on understanding him, but I slowly began to drift apart since I realized that the effort was one-sided.
Compromising in a relationship is just as important as having healthy communication. If you find yourself thinking less and less of your partner’s happiness and only want to do things that are convenient for you, then you should rethink what you both have.
You Start Imagining Yourself as a Single Person
You crave more alone time because spending time with yourself makes you happier than with your partner. Sure, even in a healthy relationship, both people have to regularly take some time off from each other and do things separately, but if you crave the feeling 24/7? Then it’s not a good sign.
During the time when I wasn’t clearly sure whether I should end my relationship or not, I liked to imagine myself being single because that means I can do whatever I want. I didn’t have to think about my partner when I wanted to make a solo trip somewhere.
While everyone thinks you are crazy and such an ungrateful person, “dating isn’t easy, and you have someone already, why do you want to let it go?” — they said.
But still, in your head, the idea of being single is much better than feeling stuck.
You Aren’t Excited To Do Things Together Anymore
Going camping on weekends, a short trip out of town, and even small things such as grocery shopping together don’t seem to excite you anymore.
Instead, you are more excited to do activities with your friends. It’s like new freedom on its own. Maybe it has something to do with the fewer responsibilities you have when going out with your partner.
You don’t even feel like having their company. Over time, your time spent in bed together decreases, but you can’t pinpoint why you are like this. You love them, and they are your best friend, but the relationship starts to feel like a chore.
After all, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. What matters is the quality of the relationship itself. If you are miserable day in and day out and no longer interested in making it work, then it’s much better to set each other free.
I’ve been there where I kept denying it that it’s just a phase and maybe it’s still something we could fix, but it wasn’t. It’s hard to be brutally honest and tell yourself that you can’t save the relationship.
But at the end of the day, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to get all your needs met, and you deserve to feel loved by someone.
Previously Published on medium
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