Question: Coach Allana, I have finally decided to accept quantity over quality when it comes to my ex life. Sure I’d like to have the kind of sex you see in magazine and movies, but my wife gets so frustrated that we end up going through a dry spell if I ask for it! So I’ve learned if I don’t say anything, I actually get MORE. Is this the right thing to do? Am I settling or just being realistic?
Answer: Maybe it’s just the way I’m wired, but if I had a choice between fine or better there’s no bloody way I would ever choose fine.
I think it probably goes back to my best friend dying when I was 16. After recovering from the initial shock, I remember thinking:
A. Never meet them and never have all of those wonderful memories and also never have any of this pain.
B. Meet them, have all of the wonderful memories and learn how this pain can make me stronger.
I’m sure you can imagine I chose B.
And I’ve never looked back 🙂
Three years after that I was literally on my uncle Phil’s 18 wheeler semi truck from Canada to the US to become a dancer. I was talented enough but I didn’t have the working papers.
So did I settle with fine and go home?
Exactly 🙂
So I kept risking and falling down and getting back up again… And like the Japanese proverb says, “Fall down seven times. Get up eight.” I kept going and got a job dancing in Japan.
That led to modeling and being a spokesperson and being an English teacher and saving enough money to return to New York City and put myself through Columbia University where I graduated cum laude in Art History.
Choosing fine over risking for better is like agreeing to mediocrity. To me t’s like the living dead.
You deserve to live your dreams great man. No one ever said it would be easy. Or fair. But it’s completely possible.
I have a feeling there’s something deeper is going on at the cause root level… and the effect is infrequent dissatisfying sex.
Facing the root cause in yourself and the root cause in your wife is going to take bravery, courage and probably some humility and maturity to take full responsibility, not blame, do the work and grow.
There’s no way through, but through.
Or just leave things as they are.
Fine.
I don’t recommend that, yet I also get it’s going to take something to really change this pattern.
I hope you choose to do whatever it takes to honor yourself and have the sex life you desire. I’m completely confident that I can help you get there as I have with so many other couples for the past 18 years.
I’m a safe, nonjudgmental, unconditionally loving sanctuary that creates lasting results. Some of it’s intense, I’ll admit. But we also have way too much fun in the process. Growth doesn’t have to be torture my friend 🙂 and the sense of confidence, pride and fully expressed living on the other side… is well worth it’s weight in gold.
So I challenge you to reach out and book a complementary session with me today at www.allanapratt.com/connect
Let’s change this. Let’s risk it all to have it all.
I have your back, humongous blessings, Allana