If we are preparing boys a for a 21st century world, they need a village of mentors to help them become better leaders in our globalized society.
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Which leads to my question, “Should women mentor boys?” I want to be clear that I am not asking “Can women mentor boys?” because I believe that is a different conversation. When we look at most formal mentoring relationships, they are developed to provide boys and young men an advisor, a teacher to offer support and provide guidance. I am not advocating for dismissing male mentors. I do however believe that cross-gender mentoring can add tremendous value to a boy’s life. This is not about assigning stereotypical roles to men and women but exploring gender specific experiences.
With 80% of single parent households headed by a single mom (According to 2013 US Census), having a male figure in a boy’s life demonstrates the need for male mentoring programs. A male role model in a boy’s life is crucial to his emotional, mental and social and professional development. Clearly, having someone of the same gender who understands some of the daily challenges you face is important, but they also need more. If we are preparing children a for a 21st century world, they need a village of mentors to help them become better leaders in our globalized society. Ideally, having mentoring relationships which are cross-cultural, cross-race and cross-gender expands a boy’s perspective and gives him a better understanding of the world.
Our 21st century kids need a village of men and women to guide them through their personal and professional development. A well-rounded global citizen can not be shaped without the supportive environment of diverse people. Mentoring cultivates a network where boys have accountability partners that cheer their successes as well as challenge their behaviors and actions when they are working against their personal and professional goals. If the goal of mentoring is to guide, support and encourage a mentee to be their best, wouldn’t he have more to gain if he had men and women mentors who can help him with his learning and growth.
Another reason why women should mentor boys is that boys gain insight into women’s roles in leadership. How do we raise men who will support women in the workplace, if they don’t have first hand understanding of the barriers women in leadership face? If we ask, “Can a woman teach a boy how to be a man, isn’t it fair to ask can a man teach boys about a woman’s personal and professional experiences.
We can not expect to raise men who will advocate for women (or vice versa) if we do not give them the opportunity to learn from women in leadership. Leadership development is not confined to gender. I believe that same gender mentoring relationships give boys a solid foundation for manhood, but having a woman as a mentor gives him insight into diverse issues.
Photo: Growwear/Flickr
I believe this is a genuinely good idea – it would not only be good for boys and young men to learn to respect and look up to women, but it would also be valuable to women to share, gain some insight and understand the challenges and inequalities that boys and young men face in society today and find a way to work through them together.
It’s a pity it wouldn’t be so well-received the other way around – I can picture it now… a man wanting to mentor a young girl? He must be a pervert!
Ratty, I have been saying for a long time that men taking a sincere interest in the sucess, emotional health and progress of girls in our society would be an extremely welcomed and positive spectrum for all invovled. Just the same as women mentoring boys would be as well. While I think same-sex mentoring is obviously very important, I think having mentors that don’t fit into your own experience is equally important to help kids grow from these experiences and forms of leadership. Unfortunately, our society tends to fetishize young girls and sexualize them in way that just doesn’t happen… Read more »
Everything you say is all very well Erin, but the negative stigma that any man who wants to work with girls must inherently be a perverted ‘dirty old man’ – a label which the feminist movement is totally complicit in attaching – is not going to go away while said movement still controls the debate on gender politics. Ask any man if he would consider mentoring a girl and almost all of them would say no – precisely because they fear being labeled as perverts. It’s precisely why there are so few male teachers also. Feminism is far too quick… Read more »
Yeah, that’s aaaall about feminism. I mean, there aren’t really many dirty old men around, like the ones MOST WOMEN have encountered in their lives, many times when they were still underaged. I mean, even in many places where women still need to wear burqas and don’t have as many rights men aren’t allowed to mentor girls, many times aren’t even allowed to be in contact with grown up women at all. A curious thing is, these aren’t “feminist” countries at all. All around the world, there has always been and there still is a SERIOUS issue with men sexually… Read more »
I would say yes and for a reason that you may not see often. You know how it’s often said that men should be in their daughter’s lives in order to server as an example of the kind of man their daughter should look for in a partner (well assuming she wants a man for a partner)? Well why don’t we see much mention of women doing the same for sons and boys? It would make sense for women to mentor boys in order to server a role model for the type of woman a boys would want to be… Read more »
Good point Danny.