There are certain undeniable signs when a relationship is ending. Here are four.
If you’ve ever had the thought “maybe we should break up,” then the answer is probably yes — especially if you’ve thought this phrase more than once, on multiple occasions.
Too many of us fight for relationships that aren’t worth salvaging. We cling to the notion that every relationship requires hard work but refuse to draw a line in the sand when it’s time to part ways. Quite simply, when the work outweighs the happiness, it’s time to move on.
It’s true that every couple goes through rough patches, but there is a distinct difference between hitting a few bumps in the road and repeatedly smashing your head against a wall.
One of the hardest things to do is to let go, especially if it’s to let go of someone you love. However, just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together forever. Here are some surefire signs that your “happily ever after” will happen with someone else.
Ridiculous Arguments
We’ve all seen or heard of those couples who fight about absolutely nothing. A fight starts after someone eats the last Pop-Tart and doesn’t put it on the grocery list; it ends up as a screaming match about why you always wear sweatpants to bed.
While some arguments are healthy, if you’re fighting at least once a week, something clearly isn’t working. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life (or even one more minute) arguing?
Vanilla Sex
After the honeymoon phase ends, sex can get a little stale. Yet, if you find yourself using stupid excuses to not have sex, like “I’m really sore from yoga” or “just one more episode of ‘House of Cards,’” then perhaps your subconscious is trying to tell you something. It’s normal to not be in the mood once in a while, but when you’re NEVER in the mood, it’s time to move on.
Fatal Familiarity (Refusing To Reevaluate)
The longer you stay in a relationship, the easier it is for each partner to grow distant. People often cling to the memories of who someone was, as opposed to who he or she is now.
If you met your significant other today, would you still want to be with him or her? Or has the person changed so drastically that you barely recognize him or her anymore?
On Again, Off Again
Repeatedly breaking up and getting back together is a huge sign that it should be over. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Breaking up once and then deciding to get back together is one thing, but if you can’t get through a girl’s night out or a game of Monopoly without calling it quits, chances are, you’re not going to make it through anything more serious.
Initiating a breakup is scary. It means you have to make a decision (and let’s face it, that’s what us Gen-Yers fear the most).
The only thing worse than losing someone about whom you care is staying with the person until you despise every fiber of his or her being. Don’t drag out your already deteriorating relationship.
Stop wondering and be honest with yourself: Do you really want to be with someone who eats your last Pop-Tart? Take a deep breath and shut it down, knowing that you deserve someone who won’t make you second guess.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily
Photo buckethandle Flickr
About the author: Samantha Rolfe. Samantha graduated from Eckerd College with a degree in creative writing. Originally from NH, she moved to sunny St. Petersburg, Fl to escape the cold. Self proclaimed adventurer (and possible adrenaline junkie) she enjoys throwing herself out of planes, off of bridges, and is always looking for the next thrill. She is passionate about smiling at strangers cats, puzzles, and all things fuzzy.
As usual, a horrible article from Elite Daily. Way to make my generation seem selfish, lazy, and entitled.
I agree Beth!
I much prefer the comments over the article, itself. If anything, this made me look at my relationship closer and realize I want to fight for it, not give up. The one thing I have found with my 6 year relationship is that I need to remember to make myself accountable for my actions and remember to appreciate above all else. If you give and give and give but never receive, maybe you can think twice about the direction of your partnership, but giving up without effort is for children. Disappointed in this post. Love all the people’s comments, though.
What is this article doing here? It’s for Teen Glamour not The GMP. I’ve been married to my husband, who is a very good man, for 18 years and none of these reasons are good enough to leave a serious relationship. A relationship that’s lasted a whopping 6 months, maybe, but not years. Sometimes we have ridiculous arguments. Quite often we’d rather binge watch Game of Thrones than have sex. We are certainly over familiar with each other. Should we throw in the towel? Hell, no! We love each other, we love our kids, we lover our house, we love… Read more »
BTW…vanilla sex is not the same thing as sex life dying out and/or no loner being interested in your partner.
I would add one more. You feel happier when your not with them.
I. Your partner is abusive to your children. 2. Your partner is abusive to you. 3. Your partner is abusive to your dog. 4. Your partner is addicted to drugs/ alcohol and unwilling to get healthy.
“If you’ve ever had the thought “maybe we should break up,” then the answer is probably yes…” I really don’t think so…please help me to avoid articles of this nature…I thought I liked this site 😮
seriously, if you’re fighting about who ate the last poptart, neither of you belong in a relationship, you belong in diapers. time to grow up, gen y. there are more important things.
Well I have to say doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results is not good. If these same two people decide to come together again they might really want to look at what they can do differently to not continue to repeat the same problems that caused them to separate in the first place. That being said it takes two people to create a healthy happy relationship one person can not do the work for two people. So if those two people are willing to give it another shot both people should be willing… Read more »
This article sounds like something I might have written when I was 22 years old. I am not sure the author is aware of this, but it is perfectly common — and expected — in any relationship to go through periods of disinterest and boredom. Sometimes very long ones. As long as you understand that you will want to leave for some innocuous reason (or no reason at all), that makes it easier to hang in there until both partners get their next wind.
It’s normal to not be in the mood once in a while, but when you’re NEVER in the mood, it’s time to move on.
Really? Just that simple? You might consider that something emotional, unrelated to your partner, or something physical may be amiss – before you just throw in the towel on your relationship.
Agree with the commentators, other articles have stated that its natural to feel worried and think of the ideas of whether we’re right for each other after a while, unless that’s what I feel and he feels differently! This article serves just to make me feel more worried when things dongood so good. So I hope its not true 🙁
This post continues to feed into the idea that we are consumers of relationships rather than active contributors to a process of connection, healing, and the good work of intimacy. Familiarity is not the enemy of good relationship, folks, the enemy to intimacy is our addiction to everlasting novelty. Sadly, I look at 3000+ shares and i think it is indicative to how self-centered we’ve become as we approach relationships. Immature people jump ship when the waters get rough, mature people let their character be shaped and formed by the process of living in relationship with a person that both… Read more »
Wow, what a great lyric! And I totally agree with the bit about everlasting novelty. Usually love TGMP but this article does feel really lazy.
Loved the response above.. and am surprised at the quality of the article here. Perhaps it is better off in a teen magazine than in something like GMP. It is just words for sake of writing them and more personal opinion than anything useful.
Well said!!!! I totally concur!!!
Whilst I agree that in some cases if ” the work outweighs the happiness, it’s time to move on”, what I can’t see is any suggestion in the article that before you end a relationship, you might want to take a closer look at the role YOU are playing in it. What part are you playing in that ridiculous argument for instance? Are you misinterpreting something; making an assumption or just judging your partner because he or she has a different opinion? If you’re never in the mood for sex with your partner, maybe now is the time to think… Read more »
I don’t think this article has any real merit. TGMP is lowering its standards. Is there anything more stale then the hackneyed then ‘The definition of insanity….’. Not only is it flyblown, its not even true.
I agree. Although there are cases when it’s better to move on, when you really love someone that’s not a relationship that should he easily abandoned. I think people people give up too easily these days, don’t reflect enough on what their role in the problem is and don’t try to objectively solve issues. Then later on in life they wonder why they’re lonely amd why love is so hard to find. Someone who loves you in return is rare and should be cultivated. Rather be honest about what the actual issues are than dump someone whom you might later… Read more »
I totally agree with u. U have to work to make a relationship lasts. It s not a magical thing. U love each other and it will be enough to make u happy ever after. NOT. misunderstanding can happen, argument can happen, low libido can happen, boredom can happen, lack of energy can happen. Many hurdles are there. the partners only know if these incompatibilities are real dealbreakers or lack of communication. U both partners are responsible of your relationship.