I once read about a NASA engineer who calculated the hypothetical chances of finding a soul mate. There was another story of bright mathematicians who tried too. They struggled to define the right criteria for a soulmate and the right conditions for finding one. Then they debated: is it one soulmate? Or multiple soulmates? If multiple soulmates exist, how many is too many? Conflicting data would skew the outcomes.
These “love statisticians” reached similar conclusions: the odds of finding a singular soulmate were too bleak for real hope. If we wanted to find a soulmate, we would have to broaden our definition or lower our expectations. Other options were to live forever or build a time machine.
As a writer who is free to play with generalities, I poked at the soulmate question to no avail. Then, I abandoned the conventional notion to find a perspective through the opposite lens.
What draws two people – or two souls – towards each other anyway? Is this a simple matter of timing? Are we talking logistics and geography? What role does physical attraction play?
Beauty could be enough to sustain attraction in a reality where things never changed.
At a minimum, some basic requirement of familiar warmth must be present. Otherwise, the sight of that other person would never spark that curious voice inside that says, ‘I want more of you in my life.’
Embedded in the soulmate question is an underlying assumption. There is someone who exists who is perfect for you. They get you. They get your idiosyncrasies and accept all of your history. Better yet, they have a personal mission to love you – and only you – without messing things up.
If this assumption is accurate, then being a soulmate must be serious pressure. I would not wish this sentence on anyone. Especially not someone who I love and wish to be happy.
Now that I have refuted myself, I am right back where I started.
Somewhere in the world exists a perfect real love story for you.
The story is not perfect but it is real. In exchange, a soulmate is closer than you think.
What if the question is less searching and finding… and more letting oneself be found?
What if you got ready to be loved? When the moment of connection appears, you can return it. Investing time to become a more loving, nurturing person is fully within our control.
I would imagine this approach would increase the odds of becoming someone else’s soulmate. A very promising start to any love story.
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