I apologize for the gap and writing over the course of the last few weeks. I have had to transition my 3 year old daughter from a traditional daycare environment to a me homeschooling her part time and half day Montessori day school 3 days a week. At the moment I am not sure if I am coming or going.
I adopted my daughter in Spring of 2019 and I have had a crash course in how fucked up our parental leave and childcare systems are every since. In 2019 I had taken a promotion in my job that placed me in the DMV (one of my favorite metros in the country)!! We get a call stating we have a baby for you, on the the day I turn my badge in at my old location to transition to the DMV and the rest was history.
I could talk about my lack of paid family leave for the adoption or I could talk about the high cost of childcare for an infant, no, I will save those for another day. Right now I am in the trenches of shitty childcare and ensuring my child hit her developmental milestones, all while working a high impact, high stress job. Oh the joys of being a parent in America.
What we have decided to do for our child was pull her from daycare; homeschool her part-time and send her to a half-day preschool. Is this a lot of stress on me, yes, yes it is. Is my child worth it, yes. Right now she is my only, living child, and her father and I are her advocates, protectors and guides along this journey.
What we realize, in July of this year , was that she was regressing and we need to figure out what to do, and quickly. We went through the normal channels of asking questions, provide suggestions, still getting no where. What I realize was I was by sending her to daycare, so I could work, I was entrusting the raising of my child to someone else. What my husband and I had to do is decide was where we going to continue to trust an institution to raise our kid or where we going to be the ones to raise her.
Childcare vs Kita
When you look at the institution of Childcare (daycare) in America, it is all about alleviating mothers of their children, so they could be in the workforce. When you look at a Kita in it was started with a similar purpose, of alleviating parents of their children so they could be in the workforce. However there are some key differences in their approach to the child. In the USA depending on the “cost” of the daycare depends on the quality of care you receive. I am not going into all of the differences today, the one that stood out me is at a Kita, they have regular meeting with parents and accept input from parents. Both models of childcare began, because industry needed bodies in the labor force. Only one has evolved to ensure that the needs of the child and the voice of the parents are what the care is centered around.
For the last couple years, I have been reading and studying the experience of expats living in Europe and the vast difference between childcare within the various European models and our own here in the USA. There are many major differences. For my family one of the key problems that we have is approaching the care of my child like we are partners. I have this expectation of anyone who is assisting with my child, whether it is a pediatrician, a therapist, or in this case daycare.
My child has been in daycare off and on since she was 6 weeks old. Due to the pandemic she was not receiving in daycare for 1 year and half. When we put her back in daycare, it was the biggest culture shock she could have experienced. She never truly adapted or assimilated into the environment, and over the course of her experience learned how to bully because she was being bullied. We are currently in the process of detoxing her of negative behaviors she picked up while in daycare.
When we would as to meet with teachers and center managers to discuss her care and growth goals, it seemed strange and a forgien concept. In the defense of the teachers they are overwhelmed overworked, and due to the large number of kids in their care do not have time to provided individualized care that each child needs. We can blame federal and state policies for many of these issues. However, while our request appears to be foreign in our current USA model of childcare, this is a normal feedback loop in the German Kita Model. They have build in days where the The Kita teachers and the parents meet to discuss the the child, needs, and what suggestions may have, so that the teachers of the Kita and the parents are working in a partnership for the child wellbeing in growth.
By moving her to a 1/2 day, 3 days a week we are seeing growth and maturity from her. We fast forward a month into half day Montessori school as of today, she is acting like she is about 2 and 1/2 years old. She is in a class with her peers and the peer to peer interaction along with the expectation from her teachers that she will act her age. I look forward to this progress continuing, and will be spending a lot of time assisting her along her path.
This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
You might also like these from The Good Men Project:
|.. In Modern Relationships, We Cheat Every Single Day||Compliments Men Would Love to Hear More Often||.10 Things Good Men Should Never Do in a Relationship||It’s Not Just Sex That He is Longing For. It’s This|
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Photo credit: iStock.com