I was proposing that soul mates are not that special and, in fact, they are quite common.
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You’ll find Soul Mates And Kaleidoscopes Part 1 HERE.
A kaleidoscope is an optical device that combines several mirrors, usually inside a cylinder, positioned at an angle with the reflecting side towards each other. One of the cylinder´s ends is closed with just a little opening to use as a peephole. In the other end, small pieces of coloured paper, beads or other objects are held in a translucent container. When pointing the kaleidoscope translucent end to the light and looking inside through the other end, the paper and beads reflect in the mirrors facing each other and create beautiful and unrepeatable patterns.
Kaleidoscope means literally “view of beautiful forms”: from the Greek Kalos (beautiful) and eidos (form) and from the English scope. It was invented by the Scottish Sir David Brewster in 1816 and the day he put together the very first kaleidoscope, he resolved that marvel should be properly named, and foresaw that “view of beautiful forms” would be accepted in the scientific community with as much enthusiasm as if the stethoscope were called “thing to listen to the heart”. Thus, he took his Greek dictionary with fancy words and said:“Oh! That´s it: kaleidosopsis!” But shortly enough, he realised that in the dawn of the 19th century, that sounded more like a venereal disease, and so he settled for a less glamorous etymology adding an English suffix (scope), ergo: kaleidoscope.
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I realise the above paragraph is absolutely unnecessary for the purpose of this post, which is to discuss personal growth in regards to soul mates, namely mirrors. But suddenly I envisioned a stern and overly serious Sir David Brewster all excited jumping of happiness with the very first kaleidoscope in his hands, up and down his laboratory (up and down goes the kilt, and the pom-poms too), and dreaming about presenting it to his fellow scientists: “Look! I have invented something that serves for nothing, but it´s pretty!”
OK. Enough, now: soul mates and kaleidoscopes. I was pointing out in Part 1 that although I do not deny that a soul mate which presents itself in the form of a partner or lover hits on us with such intensity that has the potential of causing a major change in our lives, or at least could lead us to great reconsiderations in our patterns of action, I do refuse to accept that as the only way soul mates break into our lives, therefore limiting the experiences of self-growth for those who are not prone or even in life circumstances to have a partner or lover for the matter.
… I have had very few partners and lovers, but all of them have shaken the shit out of me so violently that I had not another option but looking straight into it and wipe it clean in order to move ahead.
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I was proposing that soul mates are not that special and, in fact, they are quite common. Since they are mirrors and any person we come across in our way to the groceries has the potential to show us a reflection of ourselves. I am sorry, but I am not sorry to propose this: I understand I am killing the romanticism that entitles us to feel special every now and then, but the truth is that I understand feeling special as a sign of immaturity, which completely opposite to personal growth. So, can you understand where I am heading?
I believe I am very lucky: I have had very few partners and lovers, but all of them have shaken the shit out of me so violently that I had not another option but looking straight into it and wipe it clean in order to move ahead. But those have been only the big shiny mirrors where I could see myself full body and naked within certain privacy, and even though that has indeed helped me to change thinking patterns for my own good, it has not really contributed that much to make me a better person in my daily life, where I am not special and where I live most of the time. The other mirrors, the non-special, the ones inside the kaleidoscope, have.
A kaleidoscope consists of more than one mirror, usually three. As they are positioned at an angle to reflect each other, they are interacting with infinitive reflections. If we positioned ourselves at the end of the object of reflection, we will see a pattern of our own image as we reflect on each mirror and them on each other.
We are not isolated and we are not, if it isn’t for the interactions with our environment and others. When I propose the non-exclusivity of soul mates and moreover the ordinarily of mirrors where to learn about ourselves, I mean that our reflection is everywhere as long as we interact with others, and that the kaleidoscope of our circle of friends, network of acquaintances, family members or habitual people in our daily area of action, combine to offer us different reflection patterns we can learn from.
The kaleidoscope gives you a broader view and more opportunities to grow that an only soul mate, no matter how special, because the kaleidoscope is there every time (as long as you interact with humans).
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A few weeks ago I had a phone conversation with my phone company customer service. The customer service guy was an asshole with me: he patronised me for no apparent reason and talked to me with great disrespect. I was bewildered, and I put the phone down. Just a couple of hours later I was having a conversation with my son: he was being an asshole with me, he was patronising me … A kid patronising me, so I was an asshole with him and I patronised him back, but suddenly the earlier phone conversation came to my mind out of the blue. And I stopped dead there: I looked at my son and apologised. We started the conversation again in a very different tone and leading to a better place.
Those were not my parenting skills emerging to save the situation, which was the kaleidoscope, where two mirrors gave me a reflection pattern showing me what an asshole I was. The kaleidoscope gives you a broader view and more opportunities to grow that an only soul mate, no matter how special, because the kaleidoscope is there every time (as long as you interact with humans).
So you see, kaleidoscopes are not exclusive or extraordinary, not even romantic or distinctive. However, they are handy, and even though their teachings might not induce drastic changes or growth spurts, they are consistent and a source of wisdom for those who want to take the lessons.
Singlehood is not detrimental by any means to personal growth, as long as the single person wants to grow. Kaleidoscopes are everywhere.
Originally Published at Single, Own it
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Photo: Getty Images