From home to healthcare to the workplace, women are disproportionately feeling the pain of this pandemic. Time, money, emotional support—COVID-19 is stripping women of these critical resources.
To claw our way out of this, women have been banding together to support each other, and it’s made a huge difference. I personally would have faced financial ruin had it not been for women who had my back. But we shouldn’t have to do this alone.
Below are ten ways men can help support women during the pandemic. This list is geared towards both work and home. The advice about home skews towards how working Dads can support the working women they love. Men can make a huge impact with small sacrifices in this arena, so I thought it was worth a little extra attention.
Please hang these on your fridge, pass them on to your friends, and turn to the women you know and say, “I know this sucks, and I know you’re strong as hell, but if you want my help, I’m in.”
1. DO IT IN PUBLIC
For the most part, women tend to be friends with other women and men with men. There’s nothing wrong with this, except that in the workplace men socialize outside of work together more than they socialize with women. This has been exacerbated by COVID-19, as women can no longer casually join happy hour at the bar around the corner from work. Now men are having friendly conversations by phone or by zoom outside of work hours. Unfortunately, casual conversations are where many work decisions are ultimately made.
Don’t do this.
All decision making should be done when you are officially working. If it isn’t, it’s very likely you are excluding women’s voices from critical choices that will impact them, and your company.
2.PICK UP A PENCIL
You would think this was simple. Alas, apparently it is not. Women are doing a disproportionate share of child care even when their career responsibilities are commensurate with their husbands. Guys, I realize some women are falling into this role without being asked. Understand this is because we have been taught we must jump in first with our kids. But I have faith in you as a Dad! Talk to your partner and discuss how childcare is distributed. Volunteer 50-50. Women are leaving the workplace because they are finding it to be overwhelming to do full-time parenting and full-time work. If you want your partner to nurture her career and feel fulfilled, support that. Pick up that pencil and do your part.
3.STEP IN SO SHE CAN STEP UP
Many women are finding it difficult to get their point across in zoom. It is easy to miss frustrated body language when everyone’s head is a small dot. Now’s the time to pay closer attention. How much are the women speaking in meetings? Are they being interrupted, talked over, or ignored? If the answer is yes, do your part to make it right by augmenting their voices.
4. PICK UP A BROOM
When kids are home full-time there’s more housecleaning to do, and statistically, men just aren’t doing their fair share. When your kid spills—everything—on the floor, be that dad who picks up a broom and says to your partner, “I got this. Go hop on that zoom!”
5.HIRE SINGLE MOTHERS
There aren’t a lot of new jobs being created these days, but single women are being disproportionately whacked in the pocketbook by the pandemic. It will take more work on your part, but if you are in a position to hire women, do it. Do it, and set up systems so that these hard-working supermoms are not set up to fail.
6. CALL HER MOTHER
Daughters, not sons, tend to pick up the slack in families when an elderly parent needs support. This is just another way women are being squeezed. Help relieve the pressure and call your partner’s mother.
7.CALL YOUR MOTHER
This is the one point I don’t have statistical evidence to prove. I do, however, have overwhelming anecdotal evidence that many women are taking care of their husband’s parents. I can’t tell you how many women I know who say they’re swinging by their mother’s house, and then they’re swinging by their mother-in-law‘s house. Call your mother… or your father! They’ll be happy to hear from you—even if you are already doing your fair share—you’ll still make their day.
8.SHOW THEM THE MONEY
Give money that supports women-owned businesses. Whether it be big-time philanthropic gifts to organizations supporting businesswomen or micro-donations to GoFundMe or Patreon pages, you will make a difference. Refer clients and send customers to women. Patronize our products and services. The pandemic is hitting self-employed women and women-run small businesses more than men. As a woman whose work has been hit hard by the pandemic, I can tell you that every referral, subscriber to my Patreon page, and every new client and organization has made a huge difference.
9.SUPPORT MEN
Domestic violence is increasing, as is domestic homicide/suicide. Check up on the women you know, but just as importantly check up on the men know. Isolation both physically and socially tends to exacerbate domestic violence. If you know a man who you suspect has a higher risk of engaging in these behaviors, reach out to him. Let him know he’s not alone. Just as importantly, let him know his community is engaged with his family.
10.DON’T PUT WHITE WOMEN FIRST
Almost every aspect listed above has disproportionately impacted BIPOC women. Defaulting to helping people that look like you is tempting. However, White men have greater resources, and if they give those resources to White women more, they will be helping the group that needs them less. Now, more than ever, we must resist this temptation and reach out across our differences. Help those who need it most, regardless of who they are, where they come from, or if they are in our comfort zone.
If every man put in a little effort to do their part, things would get better for the millions of women struggling to stay afloat. Good men, men who truly care about their mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, and friends, must do just that. They must take action on behalf of women. If they don’t, half of our society will not emerge from this pandemic intact, and that’s not good for anyone.
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