We all carry an enormous amount of tension in our bodies and in different aspects of our being.
This tension is one of the greatest blocks to us experiencing deep levels of sensual and sexual pleasure.
The tension we hold has become second nature for so many of us. In fact, beyond that, it’s become our nature. It’s so deeply ingrained that we often don’t even know it’s there, and more than that, we have no idea how we’d be without it. It’s become our definition.
The tension extends deeply into our bodies, into muscles, nerves, fascia, organs and glands. It runs through our minds and hearts, effecting thoughts and emotions.
The tension we hold, particularly in and around our pelvis is one of the greatest blocks to us having deeper and more fulfilling pleasure experiences.
Going even further than that, it’s a huge and often unacknowledged cause of many sexual problems for both men and women.
In men, it manifests in erection and early ejaculation issues, and in women, it has a huge impact on anorgasmia, yoni tension, and painful sex.
We hold stuff there, almost all of us. And it’s deep stuff, from way back. The physical tension is directly connected to our emotional patterns, our guilt, our shame, our embarrassment. To everything, we’ve had to do to get acceptance and love. To every time we gave ourselves away. To every time we felt not good enough, and all the judgments and insecurities that come from that.
This is what sits in our pelvic muscles. And add the tension of modern life, the continuous tension we live with in a world constantly on the edge of madness.
Letting go into pleasure, letting go deeply into pleasure becomes harder and harder. Having orgasms, for those who do, is easy. Deep pleasure, a different story.
The tension in our pelvis impacts on the entire body. Everything revolves around your pelvis. The greater the tension and tightness there, the greater the tension throughout your body. Here’s an interesting little aside, more headaches and neck aches would be relieved through deep gluteal massage than neck and shoulder massage. What happens elsewhere is the symptom. And more headaches and stress-related ailments, which is the single biggest cause of illness in the world, would be relieved through deep pleasure experiences more than anything else.
The tension in our pelvis changes the way the entire body sits. And the impact on our sexuality is huge. One example of this, which affects so many women, is that constriction in the pelvis makes it incredibly difficult for the G-Spot to become awake and aroused. Another is that so many men seek sexual control to deepen their own pleasure, as well as that of their partners. Tension in the muscles of the groin and deep inside the pelvis makes this extremely difficult.
Deep release work of these muscles not only increases our pleasure possibilities but releases the whole body to a more balanced and relaxed state. And there’s more. Along with this comes the letting go of some of our deepest and most painful emotions.
Gabor Mate talks about two ways of being.
The first is protective and defensive, which we spend most of our lives in. this is a state of stress and survival. It’s a state of tension, of the mind, of the body, of the heart and of our energy.
It’s a state of contraction. Movement of any kind becomes difficult in this state.
The other way of being is open and engaged. In this we’re curious, we’re exploring, we’re learning, we’re expanding, we’re moving.
The rhythm of release, the rhythm of relaxation, the rhythm of letting go.
For so many of us, our tension, what we hold onto, in every way, has come to define us. As we start to let go of this we’re able to redefine ourselves, become someone different and live differently, experience differently, feel differently.
It’s actually a no-brainer.
Less tension, more relaxation, way more pleasure.
Way more possibility.
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