Let’s make something clear. Some men will never respect you, no matter what you do.
That’s something we need to be clear about right from the start, so you don’t get false hope that every man will respect you if you follow the steps below.
After centuries of using women for their own benefit, it’s ingrained into some men’s every fiber of their being that women are commodities and they want to treat them that way.
Those men don’t matter. Let them be and save yourself from the pain of their company.
That’s why you need to demand respect first and see who is capable of delivering. These 2 components are key for a successful relationship, be it at work or at home.
1. Get a life.
Stop organizing your whole life around relationships, men, how you can impress them, what they think of your skimpy red dress, etc.
Nobody and I mean absolutely nobody will be positively impressed with your lack of interest in your own life.
It may sound harsh, but it’s true.
Respect is something that has to be earned. And if your life consists of nothing more than sitting around waiting for men to give you attention, or even worse, jumping through hoops to make them notice you, then you’re in for a bitter surprise. All the attention you earn will include 0 respect.
Instead, you’ll just come across as needy and desperate.
So what does it take to get a life? For starters, it means having your own hobbies and interests. It means being independent and self-sufficient.
It means being the kind of woman that men (and everyone else, for that matter) want to be around — someone who is fun, interesting, engaging, and exciting.
Start by respecting yourself enough to get a life.
Get involved, get creative, stand for what you believe in, and don’t give up on yourself at the first sign of hardship.
2. Stand into the power of your femininity.
Don’t become just another competitive toxic man. It’s a waste.
As a woman, I’m sure you know how much the female kind despises the whiny male who is always complaining about nothing working out for him (especially with women), oh so sad, will somebody please understand his awfully hard life?
And while we might understand and empathize, we also have no respect for him. He seems trapped in some sort of toxic femininity that nobody respects.
The same happens if a woman is always hardcore, competitive, loud, and a sore loser.
Don’t act like any other toxic man, competing with the rest of the guys for the ‘Most Toxic of ’Em All’ title.
No man will respect you for that.
Good men don’t respect toxicity, no matter who it’s coming from.
But good men do respect women who stand in their feminine power and who aren’t afraid to be… well, a woman.
Many times women are not aware of the immense power they have over men. So they try too hard by borrowing what is traditionally considered to be male attributes.
And unfortunately, they most often than not choose the toxic ones. There’s no need to do that, it doesn’t enhance anyone’s respect for you, on the contrary.
Plus, it keeps the good ones away,
3. Be humble.
Since the (sort of) new female liberation, I see a lot of women bragging away with their accomplishments, like nobody would believe them otherwise.
They didn’t have a chance to do that beforehand, because they had to seem meek and unimportant and leave the place for the man to scream his value to the world, so they’re taking advantage.
It’s a bad idea though. It looks bad on men too. Borrowing masculine negative traits doesn’t make women look any better.
Let your accomplishments speak for themselves. If they are big enough, they will. If they’re not big enough, you inflating them will make you look lame and insecure.
And you know what happens when a woman is insecure: men will take advantage.
My colleague Lana would always tell everybody who was willing to listen about her accomplishments, how good she was at convincing clients to do what she suggested, etc.
It comes off as very out of place and inappropriate and everybody is wondering whether she’s telling the truth.
It’s not a problem to talk about how amazing you’re doing, but the place it’s coming from is crucial.
It’s one thing to discuss ideas and pull people into your world and another to put yourself on a pedestal of amazing accomplishments. Let others come to you to praise you.
Also, see who comes over.
A lot of men will be intimidated by your accomplishments. You need to stay clear of those, they will only drag you down so they can tower over you.
But a lot will be intimidated by bragging and narcissism. Those are the good men that you drive away with your bragging.
It’s important to note that while women will only sleep with men they respect, men will only marry women they respect. While that might not (and shouldn’t) be your purpose in life, it is a good indicator of perceived value.
And even if it happens, men will not be good partners to women they don’t respect.
Remember that it’s not about changing who you are, but rather adopting some new behaviors that will help you achieve the respect you desire.
Be confident in who you are and what you have to offer; be honest and authentic; be strong and independent; be kind and compassionate; and lastly, be humble.
When you put forth the effort to develop these qualities within yourself, not only will you earn the respect of those around you, but also — more importantly — you’ll learn to respect yourself.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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