I sat in my counselor’s office.
“I don’t think I believe in Hell anymore?” I mused as I lay on a couch staring at his ceiling. I ran through the implications of that thought in my mind and as I did, I felt a wave of panic rise up through my chest.
I bolted upright.
“Does that mean I’m not a Christian anymore?” I blurted out.
“Well,” came his sagely reply, “It means you’re not an evangelical Christian anymore — that’s for sure.”
He was right.
There is no way that I’m an evangelical Christian anymore. This realization was terrifying because evangelicalism was the entire belief system I was brought up with, the bedrock of my faith, the moral and spiritual foundation of my universe.
Now it had all changed.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m still following Jesus — well… as best I can. But, let’s just say if the Evangelicals are right, I’m not gonna be in Heaven with them. I’m too much of a heretic now. But I have reasons — forty of them, in fact. I sat down and started writing them down, and well… one reason led to another, and before I knew it, I had a long, long list.
It was then that I knew it was okay. I wasn’t a fool for walking away — though I’m sure some would call me that. Maybe it would help someone out there — someome like me — to know the reasons why I jumped ship and cast myself into the great unknowing. Why am I not an evangelical anymore? Here’s why:
- No one has ever been able to satisfactorily explain why God — the same God who created the universe and set the laws of the universe in motion— somehow decided that the wages of sin (even the smallest of sins) had to be death.
- No one has been able to satisfactorily explain how our sinfulness was so bad that it left God no choice but to brutalize, torture, and kill his son. I was told that sin offends God so grievously because he is so holy. I don’t buy it.
- I do not believe that a God who is both all-loving and all-powerful would satisfy his holiness by sending the majority of humankind to eternal conscious torment in hell.
- In fact, I believe God will send very few people to hell. And by “few,” I mean “none.”
- I believe that the only gospel that people need to hear is that despite all their feelings to the contrary, they are beloved sons and daughters of God, and nothing will ever change that.
- I do not believe that anyone is born into this world intrinsically bad, absent of inherent worth, or repulsive to God. Quite the opposite: I believe that all people are made in the image of God, born into this world intrinsically good and, by their very nature, worthy of love.
- I don’t think God is angry with you or anyone else for that matter. And I don’t think God hates anyone. I think those images of God are more a reflection on the people who profess those beliefs.
- I believe that using guilt, fear, or shame as a means of binding people to certain religious beliefs or practices is spiritual abuse.
- I find the idea that the eternal destination of my family and friends rests on my willingness to share a certain gospel message with them is far too much pressure for a person to carry.
- I find the prospect of evangelizing others insulting to their intelligence, education, experience, and lives. I don’t enjoy being someone else’s evangelism project, so I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be mine.
- I no longer want to hold onto dehumanizing and objectifying views of people that evangelicals deem as “the lost.”
- I no longer want to hate or demonize people who live differently from me or express their love for one another differently to me.
- I have been to many evangelical congregations, and I don’t find Jesus there any more than I find Jesus in the laughter of my children, the company of good friends, or a gentle breeze on my face.
- I believe the church has confused unity for uniformity. Personally, I think the more diverse a congregation is, the more healthy.
- I do not want my daughters brought up in a system where they are taught that women have a God-ordained ontological need to be led by, decided for, taught by, and subject to men.
- I have known countless evangelical Christians over the years, but many of them do not look, act, or sound much like Jesus.
- On the other hand, I have seen Atheists, Buddhists, Muslims, and even Catholics (Shock! Horror!) who are better followers of the teachings of Jesus than many evangelicals, including myself. I want to be more like them.
- I find discussing religious beliefs with people of different religious backgrounds extraordinarily fulfilling and enjoyable, and I think we could learn from each other.
- I have studied theology and religion, what it is, and how it works, and I see many common themes among all faiths. We aren’t so different.
- I have read the Christian Bible cover to cover multiple times, and I think parts of it are amazing. But, I also believe the Bible makes much more sense when you don’t have to take it literally or view it as inerrant.
- I believe the Bible was one culture’s best effort to understand God within their own cultural context at a particular time in history. Therefore some of it should not be applied verbatim to a different culture at a different time.
- I believe that there is plenty of truth and plenty of answers to be found both inside and outside of the Bible.
- I have seen evangelical Christians use the Bible to justify all kinds of abuses.
- I have seen two groups of evangelical Christians use the same part of the Bible as a proof-text for two completely different versions of the truth. How?
- I am comfortable with paradox, mystery, unanswered questions, and doubt. In fact, I think certainty is the enemy of faith. I would rather have questions I can’t answer than answers I can’t question.
- I do not believe that science is the enemy of faith. In fact, I think they make quite good bedfellows. I think advances in science and medicine are part of the unfolding revelation of God in the world.
- I do not believe that Jesus supports a particular political party, but if he did, it would probably be the one whose policies were inclined towards mercy and compassion.
- I do not believe that Jesus favors one nation over another or one people over another.
- I believe in Jesus.
- I want to follow the life and teachings of Jesus.
- I think selfless love is the bottom line of the teachings of Jesus, and the way he lived and died was and is the truest expression of the Divine.
- I believe living a kind, loving, and courageous life is more important than professing certain doctrines and holding to certain truths. I would rather be loving than right.
- I think how we live among our fellow humans from Monday through Saturday is more important than the building we might happen to go to on Sunday morning.
- I like hanging out with sinners.
- I think having a drink with friends is one of life’s simple pleasures. The sky did not fall the first time I got a little bit drunk. It didn’t lead to debauchery or pre-marital hand-holding.
- I think that Jesus can use anything or anyone — even a non-believer — to teach me anything for any reason at any particular time. I don’t have a monopoly on the truth.
- In fact, I think I might be wrong about certain aspects of my faith.
- I’m willing to listen to other points of view on these aspects of my faith.
- If I am convinced by someone else that I am wrong, I will gladly change my mind about these aspects of my faith.
- If you disagree with me about any of these, I’d still love to be your friend.
—
This post was previously published on Backyard Church.
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Thank you for this. This is exactly how I’ve been feeling but for some reason feel like I can’t say it out loud. I’ve worked in the evangelical world for 20 years and I can’t do it anymore. I’ve been hurt so bad. I’d love to have a discussion about women’s equality and the church, and how Jesus treated women. I feel that is at the core of evangelical abuses. How can we connect? Would love a discussion for my podcast.