Several years ago, I had a painful experience which appeared to be the third example of an unfortunate pattern of serving others and being let down by my business partner. It was the catalyst for my interest in self-discovery and a fascinating journey into the world of human energy.
Perhaps the most important principle I learned in the 15 years since then is the pivotal role our self-image plays in predicting how we experience our relationships in business and in life generally. I learned that who we think we are is a complex web of separate and distinct mini-judgments that subtly accumulate as we experience moment after moment of our life. This also includes moments during gestation and thereafter, as strands of our DNA became activated by the energy of our environment, primarily that of our mother, but also of those we are around once we become more independent of her.
Little by little our sense of self emerges from these perceptions and activations, which themselves are just replicas of the perceptions of our ancestors. The complexity is immense, it is all based on reaction to others’ opinions, and very little of it is actually true.
Because our consciousness produces the experiences in our relationships, we continue to reinforce what we believe about our self which can easily lead to our feeling uncomfortable in our own skin. We can tend to compromise our self to please others and avoid situations that emotionally trigger us, which are reflections of our misalignments with our true self. There is only one solution to this confused and unsatisfying state, and that is to commit to finding one’s true self or soul.
Because this journey requires the transformation of false egoic selves so the true self can emerge, and we have invested so much in creating our family and society-pleasing false selves, our mind prefers the safety of the known to the uncertainty of what it doesn’t understand. It will use every trick in its extensive armory to defeat soul searching, as it believes in death, and fears its own death. What it doesn’t understand, is that it is not about to be fired with the emergence of the soul. While it will be refined and aligned with what’s most loving for you, having a personality is an important part of the human experience, and that is the ego’s primary and necessary role in our life.
The journey of self-discovery can be a long and winding road, but once completed, we are left with a knowing that aligning with what is most loving for us keeps us in the flow, eases our success, and brings joy to our life in every moment. However, our ego is not our enemy but rather a valuable ally, as we mold and refine our personality to support us as we start living out our purpose.
Once the ego realizes that we’re not out to destroy it, it will become the important ally it is intended to be, giving us the ideal reactions to what we experience, and creating positive impressions in all our relationships.
In business, this gives us the ability to effortlessly connect and resonate with potential business partners, clients, employees, suppliers and the others who will help us build our purpose-driven business. The key is to remember we are love and to do the best we can to be love in every situation, in relation to our self, our business, and those we serve. When we remember this, life and business become increasingly like a loving family as our personal and business relationships faithfully reflect our loving intention back to us.
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