“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” — Albert Einstein
The Origin of a Gentleman
As early as 1431, the term “gentleman” appeared for the first time in a land register, aligning in social class with the likes of knights and heads of household.
Almost two hundred years later, the British scholar, John Selden equated being a gentleman to belonging to the nobility. Its character traits have been staunchly discussed and defended.
In the 14th century, Poet and writer Geoffrey Chaucer proclaimed that no man should refer to himself as a gentleman without taking true care to uphold his good name. He later added that a gentleman should also be virtuous, reserved and charitable.
The Definition of a Gentleman
For almost as long as the term gentlemen has been around, it was a man of high social position and wealth. According to multiple dictionaries:
- A chivalrous, courteous, or honourable man.
- A man who combines gentle birth or rank with chivalrous qualities.
- A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behaviour.
- A polite or formal way of talking to or referring to a man.
Thankfully, the definition of being a gentleman has changed for the better. Being a gentleman is no longer associated with being a man of high social position and wealth. Money and power cannot buy class.
The Art of Becoming a Modern Gentleman
Today, being a gentleman is a matter of choice. A gentleman is no longer defined by the content of his wallet or the cut of his suit. He is defined by his manners and the content of his character. It is not about perfection, but a constantly renewed pursuit of excellence.
Gentlemen are not stiff, pretentious, or focused on elevating themselves. Instead, they strive to succeed while helping those around them succeed as well. Being a gentleman means that you care about how your choices impact others. It is about human connection.
Our world is in need of more gentlemen. Those who choose to pick up this torch are not only performing a noble feat, but they also reap incredible rewards.
Here are 20 qualities of a modern gentleman that never go out of style and pay huge dividends.
1. A modern gentleman is well-spoken and a generous listener.
A gentleman is well-spoken and a focused listener. He demonstrates conversational competence and leaves others feeling inspired, engaged, and understood. He manages his tone and body language to maximize connection. He knows that hearing is a passive physical process, but listening is an active mental process that requires work.
2. A modern gentleman models civility in how he treats others.
A gentleman demonstrates respect, restraint, and personal responsibility in all his interactions. He is honourable, and values and respects others.
3. A modern gentleman is punctual.
A gentleman respects other people’s commitments. If he is chronically late, his actions communicate that his time is more valuable than those who are waiting for him. Be on time.
4. A modern gentleman is imperfect.
A gentleman does not believe himself to be perfect but instead takes ownership and responsibility for the things he can control: his actions, knowledge, and approach to the world.
5. A modern gentleman displays confidence instead of arrogance.
A gentleman believes in himself and his abilities independently of other people. An arrogant man must always win to feel validated while a gentleman self-validates from within.
6. A modern gentleman is generous with his time, wisdom, and resources.
A gentleman looks for ways to help others. He is a leader, and his commitment to interpersonal kindness creates a positive environment that boosts commitment, engagement, and performance.
7. A modern gentleman possesses a positive outlook on life.
A gentleman chooses to be positive. His positivity is contagious, and his consistent encouragement draws others to him.
8. A modern gentleman lives as humbly as possible.
A gentleman is a humble man. He knows that there is no merit in braggadocios’ behaviour. He gives credit where credit is due and understands that there is no self-made man.
9. A modern gentleman possesses a strong work ethic.
A gentleman possesses a strong work ethic. He takes great pride in his work and strives to give his very best every day. He is reliable, dedicated, self-disciplined, humble, and a team player. He leads and is led well. People want him on their team.
10. A modern gentleman is a lifelong learner.
A gentleman maintains a teachable posture and embraces change for the better. His intellectual curiosity propels him to constantly better himself and his craft through reading, coaching, education, and time spent with mentors.
11. A modern gentleman is well-mannered.
A gentleman demonstrates respect, restraint, and personal responsibility in all his interactions. He is honourable, and values and respects others.
12. A modern gentleman demonstrates initiative and proactivity.
A gentleman always steps up. He is the commander of his own ship and knows that if he wants to accomplish great things he must do all that he can to reach his highest potential.
13. A modern gentleman follows his passions.
A gentleman needs to have something that they can be passionate about and devote his entire being to. Regardless of what the passion is, he pursues it with relentless determination, ambition, and drive.
14. A modern gentleman is consistent and disciplined.
A gentleman always keeps his responsibilities in mind and simply does what needs to be done. Whether it be working on mastering his craft, staying physically fit, or doing everyday errands and chores, carry out a lifestyle with determination and achieve your promises.
15. A modern gentleman embraces change.
Change is the only constant. A gentleman knows how to embrace and adapt to the ever-changing world around him. He never gets too comfortable with any situation because change will eventually happen.
16. A modern gentleman is known for his integrity.
A gentleman is a man of his word and follows through with his commitments, whatever the cost. His actions reflect who he has chosen to be and are not based upon the opinions of others.
17. A modern gentleman is a man of his word.
A gentleman keeps his word. He says what he is going to do and then he does it. His word is his bond. It’s important a man stays true to what he is going to do.
18. A modern gentleman knows how to be mindful.
A gentleman is aware of and embraces his own thoughts, feelings and sensations, and the environment around him, at any given time. A mindful man is able to focus on the present without dwelling on the past or feeling anxious about the future.
19. A modern gentleman is courageous.
A gentleman stands up against something which threatens him or someone he cares about and he takes action in a way that is consistent with his values. He is a brave man who chooses love over fear.
20. A modern gentleman encourages others.
A gentleman encourages others when they are feeling down. He sees potential in others, he pushes them to be their best selves, to strive for greatness.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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