Sensei Dan dedicated his life to Aikido, teaching it for over 50 years until he passed away. During that time, I’d watch Sensei instruct all kinds of students: young and old from various backgrounds and races.
Invariably, Sensei would show an Aikido technique to a student– even a black belt– and after he was done showing them step-by-step. the student performed it the same way they had before, unaltered. From the look on their face, the student thought, “I did what you showed me.” Sensei would just stand there looking on.
In a sense, I had compassion for what that student was going through. I was in their shoes, once: I had my “blockhead” moments. However, I finally learned to listen and got what Sensei was saying and showing me. He allowed me to become partners in Aikido training. As a result, I got facile for what he was showing me. If I didn’t get it, I’d ask, “Is it like this?” If he said, “No,” I listened, again. If he said, “That’s it,” I was happy.
When I taught Aikido I always experienced the same phenomena. I’d spend a few minutes showing a student a move, breaking it down. Per usual, the student would do the same thing as he or she did before, which prompted a correction. They might say, “What?” I would just stare. “That’s not what I did,” I would say. At times it would just drive me nuts, but that’s just the deal a Sensei is dealt.
Once, years ago, Sensei told me, “You’re more patient than me.” My reaction was, “Fuck, no!”
I asked Sensei, “How did you do it for so many years? You can show a student how to do a technique. Then they still don’t change it.” Sensei looked at me and just smiled. A couple of years later I found myself smiling just like he did.
As a sensei, you do your job. You show students the way or the path. It’s up to that student to “get” what is being presented and discover what works for them. That’s the deal of sensei and student.
Werner Erhard said, “There’s nothing I want people to learn from me. It’s what you discovered for yourself that makes it powerful.” Amen. True teaching is in “not teaching,” As a sensei, it’s not about me. It’s about having your student get something of value that makes a difference for them. As Bruce Lee said, “True knowledge is self-knowledge.”
The sensei or “true teacher” never teaches; they are only a guide to one’s self-discovery. That’s what makes sensei so profound on the journey. That’s what makes being one so rewarding.
Passing my Shodan, 1st-degree black belt test, was one of the happiest moments of my life. Given how I felt not good enough and weak as a child, growing up at home, that was a big deal for me. I told Sensei, “Thank you.” As he always did, he smiled. “I didn’t do anything. You did it.” Yeah, Sensei did his job in guiding me. I did my job in getting what he taught and grinding it out. It was the beginning of our journey together in the Art of Mastery.
Over the years, Sensei showed me many things. He showed me how to wait-out an attack until the last moment – “Take a glancing blow if you have to.” I learned to make my mind calm in “the storm.” He showed me how to throw with feeling, with my mind. “It’s only one time.” Don’t do anything half-assed.
In showing me all the “little things,” Sensei taught me what it was to be a man. I’m proud of who I’ve become through his “not teaching.” Sure, “I did it,” as Sensei might have reminded me, even today. Yet, he was my intimate guide. He was like a father to me when I needed one. For all his “not teaching” I’m forever grateful. I love him, always. Sensei’s life made a difference in mine.
I think as human beings, maybe even out of ego, we all want to teach something to others. Often teaching can become “all about me.” I would know: I’ve done it. Making a profound difference is about what I have to give up, such as “I know better” and “You should listen to me.”
As the sensei within all of us, take on “It’s all about them.” It’s what others discover for themselves that makes a difference in their lives. Be patient. Have compassion. Guide others in discovering the “greater than” within themselves. That will profoundly make a difference for all involved. Have that be your possible legacy. Amen. Amen.
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